Envy
by GothicRose18
Summary: It's a Dark Brotherhood story. Who'da thought it? LL/OC
1. Prologue

Authors Notes: Here it is My first fanfic, Its going to follow the Dark Brotherhood Quest line and maybe a few others. I'm not going to make this a word for word DB fan fic. I'm adding my own twists and turns, I hope you like it! R+R would be nice. Look on my page for the disclaimer, I own only my ideas and characters.

Envy

Prologue: Nerah Vlando

Have you ever had the feeling you were being watched? That you were being followed or hunted? Have you ever been so paranoid that you ran away from your home? Have you ever killed a man? I have, and its no surprise that now I'm scared to death because of it. Fear is an ugly thing.

Ah, listen to me ramble. Have I gone insane with the guilt already? Have I been 'touched' by the Mad God and not been aware? Hmm. No I don't think so, but perhaps I should explain some things first. Well, for starters my name is Natily Veetour. But I am currently going by Nerah Vlando; all my friends call me Envy. Get it? N.V, my initials? I'll admit, a bit cliché.

You see, I had to change my old name. When being on the run its not entirely smart to waltz around with the name everyone knows you by. And to put it bluntly, I prefer Nerah. There is nothing wrong with Natily of course, but I am entitled to my opinion.

Now with that little tidbit cleared up, onto my current state. It's simple really, I'm running away from my home, Chorrol. I got into a little 'scrape' with my no good, money grubbing step brother. That's all, really.

Oh, and I killed him.

xxxx

I know what your thinking, how could I possibly do such a thing? My answer, easily. But that is a story for another day, I'm not one to talk about my problems. Or family problems rather. Not that they were much of a family anyway. But what's done is done, no need to dwell on it. So I'm doing the next best thing. I'm running like hell.

I have been running straight along the Black Road for two hours or so. I am far beyond Chorrol. I just passed Weynon Priory, and I know that place rather well. I had been dragged there on many occasions during my youth, and I know for a fact that its well outside of Chorrol.

My legs are starting to throb painfully, and I need to rest. Hell, I'm no fighters guild associate. I'm lucky I made it this far without the contents of my stomach spilling onto the pavement. A two hour run is like a years worth of exercise for a hotel maid!

Yes, yes, hotel maid. My parents owned a little rag-tag inn on the outskirts of Chorrol. I had to work there against my will. Step mother, step brother, it's like I fell out of a fairy tale isn't it? Well in reality I'm anything but your wand waving, flower picking, golden haired princess. Quite the opposite actually.

Unpleasant, stupid, rude, and arrogant looking. That's how everyone describes me. But they really don't know a thing about me. I'm not as dumb as they think I am. Could an idiot plan out and execute such a perfect murder?

Strike that, nothings perfect. And it didn't go over as smoothly as I had imagined either. I honestly didn't mean to burn down my fathers inn. I just wanted to get rid of my step brother. But everyone makes mistakes. They would have known it was me who did it. I always threatened him, I told him I would burn him alive if he kept it up.

Men, they never seem to listen. But I am being judgmental. Not every man is like…

Was like Peter.

xxxx

So, here I am now trudging along the worn down path, on my way to the Imperial City. Everyone can make it there. From the stories I hear, the damned beggars get better meals than I. At the thought of food my stomach has started to growl angrily. I am hungry, I am _always_ hungry. I think its time for a little break.

I stepped off the path and made my way over to a large set of trees. The place I made my campsite was not very far from the road. I never really traveled much, and am not looking forward to getting lost out in the Green Forest at twilight. I have no sense of direction you see, best not wander off. I dare not risk losing the road.

An odd feeling came over me though, like I was no longer alone. That same feeling I had when I was staring down at my fathers burning Inn. Watching the embers slowly die. It feels like every shadow is alive and beckoning me to come closer, to enter the darkness. The thought gets me a bit frightened to say the least. Now I'm not afraid of the dark, but I do fear what hides within it. So, I made haste to check out my surroundings.

It took me about several minutes of craning my neck to peek around the large pine tree trunks, to insure that I was alone. Once satisfied I flopped down near some largely exposed roots and rubbed my now aching neck. What can I say? I'm a bit of a baby when it comes to tender muscles.

I debated on using a healing potion to take the pain away. But soon decided against it. I didn't have enough potions to waste on the minor complaint, so I would bear the small pain. I hadn't packed much for my little journey, but I had enough supplies to get me through a couple of days.

I reached for my enchanted rucksack, my favorite birthday present. Given to me by my now deceased uncle, Talos bless his soul. He knew I always wanted to be an adventurer, but he also knew of my lacking strength. The bag could hold as much weight as I can carry, and fit even the most large and oddly shaped objects.

Why did all my loving family members have to die?

I rummaged through my bag until I found what I was looking for. My all time favorite food, an apple. No I am not a vegetarian, nor am I a health fanatic. I just love apples. When I was younger, when my mother was alive, I grew up on an apple orchard.

The very smell of cider brings back the wonderful memories. I rubbed the apple on my grey tunic, and then took a bite. The sweet juices of the apple immediately sent me into a euphoric state. It quenched my parched throat and more than sated my hunger, as I ate it nearly to the core.

I tossed it aside once finished and took in a deep breath. The sun was beginning to rise, and I was not surprisingly, very tired. I wiped my sticky fingers on my sodden brown skirt and looked around. The scenery was always lovely here, it was the only reason why I had ever stayed with my father. Just to see that sun rise or set on the green hills, the pink and orange gleam of dusk or dawn reflecting on the pines, is just so beautiful.

I ran my hand through my coal black hair, and soaked everything in. The air was crisp now, Heartfire was just beginning. The leaves had already begun their change; green with flecks of gold and brown. It was going to be a long winter. I could already tell.

xxxx

I found myself slowly nodding off under the brush. I was desperately tired. Up all night killing and running will do that to you I suppose. I needed sleep, and decided it was best to postpone my travels until tomorrow. That way I could ketch up on my rest and arrive in the Imperial City on Morndas, sometime in the early afternoon.

I yawned loudly and snuggled up to the tree bark. Sure it wasn't what I would call comfortable but it was my current bed. I was not worried about being found by the guards. I was far enough away form the main road and well hidden by clumps of trees and underbrush.

My heavily lidded eyes slowly began to close, and I found myself in a wonderful dream. I was back at the old orchard with my mother, she was humming one of her old imperial tunes. And I was listening, snuggled up to her chest and eating an apple.


	2. Shadows Protection

Authors Notes: Ah chapter two. I am enjoying writing this and plan on posting chapter two within the month. R+R would be magical! I do enjoy constructive critisism...and reviews, lots of them lol. But who dosnt? hehe, ehem. Here is chapter one.

Envy

Chapter one: A Shadows Protection

I was laying sprawled out beneath the trees. Sleep still muddled my brain, and I was slowly drifting into consciousness. It took me a moment but I soon realized that it was still dark out. Immediately I knew that I had slept much longer than I had planned. I had unintentionally slept away Sundas.

Groaning I clutched my temples. I had a massive head ache, not to mention body aches. I looked around, wondering why on Nirn had I slept so long. I didn't think I could have possibly been that tired. Hell, I didn't even think someone could sleep an entire day away like that. Was I sick?

"Ugh. So much for arriving in the Imperial City Morndas." I said aloud as I balled my fists and reached up to rub my eyes. But before my hands got half way to my face, I got a response. Someone was with me.

"Yes, I believe that you wont make it now, even if you ran." I whipped around to see who was speaking to me. I was on all fours as I found myself staring up at a tall figure. From the deep sound of the voice and broadness of its shoulders, I could tell that this figure was a man. And he was clad in black: black leather boots, black robe, and hood, and velvet gloves. He looked like a living shadow.

Immediately I froze on the spot. I found myself remembering all those little chats I had with my parents on the subject of strangers. They always told me to never talk to them, but what do you do when your in the middle of nowhere and the stranger is talking to you?

Against your will, you freeze up, that's what.

I wanted to run away screaming like a maniac for the guards. I fastened my hand around the tall blades of grass, clutching them tightly as if it would somehow save me. I couldn't go calling for guards, they were looking for me and would sooner send me to jail then lend a helping hand. Besides, I doubted I would find anyone who could help, I'm pretty much out in the middle of nowhere. Not many travelers during Heartfire.

The man was standing only about five feet away from me. Which was far to close for my liking. But what made it worse was that the man began to make his way closer to me. He took one step forward, then another. I acted on impulse, flinging myself backward so I was laying almost flat on my back, propped up on only my elbows.

"Don't!" I warned, though I doubted that he found me at all threatening so, I threw one hand in front of my face. I was bracing myself, waiting to be throttled by the robed man, but to my surprise he didn't move. There was a long pause. I was still laying on the grass watching him, all the while desperately trying to calm myself down. This was the fastest my heart had ever raced in my seventeen years of living.

"Don't do what my dear, talk with you?" That voice, there was something about it and it made me look up. The mans posture had not changed. He still stood there looking down at me. His head tilted to the side slightly. Even at this angle I could not make out his face. Everything was hidden by his hood.

I gulped and adjusted myself so I was in a more sitting position. Which was far more respectable than my previous cowering before a stranger position. Staring into his hood I tried to find his eyes. My mother had told me they were doorways into the soul. I usually used that fact to read people more. You would be surprised how much you can learn about a person by just looking them in the eye.

And come to find out his eyes were such a deep brown that for a moment I had mistaken them for black.

xxxx

Talk with me? I didn't quite get it. I wasn't entirely sure that I wanted to either but he wasn't doing me any harm, not just yet. So I decided to toughen up a bit. I am no damsel in distress, I'm not going to lower myself acting like one.

"What do you want?" I asked while trying my hardest to keep the quaver out of my voice. To my relief he didn't come any closer. He simply crossed his arms and continued to stare down at me with eyes as cold and sharp as ice.

"Child I have already told you what I wanted. Were you not listening?" I had an odd feeling that he was lecturing me. I was half expecting him to tell me to go to my room and think about whatever it was I had done. I hated that. Why does everyone feel the need to scold me? I may be seventeen but I am not a child. Or at least I don't think of myself as one.

"I am not a child." I was trying to stare him down while I spoke, but that smile on his face told me that no matter how much I glared he thought otherwise.

"Clearly," he started while slowly advancing on me. Stealthily coming closer. It was obvious he was approaching me like one would to a frightened rabbit. Keeping his voice soft and friendly, and holding that same 'I wont hurt you' smile. But unlike a frightened rabbit I wasn't fooled.

I inched away slightly. I didn't want to give away that I was afraid. People use fear against you in times like this. They try to make you panic, and when you panic you talk and act like a fool. And sadly I am no exception to that little factor.

"for I do not know a child who can kill in cold blood like you have."

So much for not panicking.

I went wide eyed and opened my mouth to protest my innocence but no sound came out. I was staring up at him completely dumbfounded._ "How does he know, is he bluffing? No, why would he do that?"_ I was in big trouble. My hand caught and smacked for being in the cookie jar.

He chuckled darkly at my astounded expression. The sound was heart warming and soul stealing all at the same time. Hard to pull off such delighted yet mirthless laugh. Harder and scarier still when the sound comes naturally. But it was that laughter that pulled me right out of my stupor and back to reality. This man knew what I had done. I wanted to know how.

"Who are you? And what do you _really _want?" Being laughed at was a small fuel for my ignorant defiance. Though my voice was louder and stronger now I knew that it would not effect him. He didn't strike me as the type to recoil over a high-strung teenager.

"There is no need for rudeness my dear. Surely an _adult_ like yourself can hold a civilized conversation with a friendly stranger?" he paused to flash me a sardonic smile. Friendly? I had my doubts, but he was right and I knew it. I was better off playing it safe. It would do me no good to act like a spoiled brat.

He was still grinning at me as he took his final step forward so that he was now looming above me. I swallowed hard and willed myself to look up at him. I felt his eyes upon my face. It was unnerving, like being put on display. I could have sworn that he could look right into my soul with those eyes.

"My name is Lucien Lachance, and you are?" He held out his hand for me to shake. At first I didn't know whether or not I should take it. It felt like a bad thing to do. But I decided that no harm ever came from shaking someone's hand, so reaching up cautiously I took it.

"Nerah, Nerah Vlando." my voice cracked slightly as I introduced myself to this, Lucien Lachance. I felt his long fingers slowly wrap around my cold hand. His grip on me was strong but not fearfully so. He gave my hand a good shake but quirked his brow.

"Nerah. Strange name for a Imperial." my eyes widened when I suddenly felt his hand move from my palm to my wrists. He grabbed at it and with a harsh yank pulled me to me feet. And I not so gracefully, was thrust upward. Luckily with his hands on my shoulders I was able to steady myself and keep from falling into him.

His expression had not wavered in the slightest, he was still smiling. Now that I was standing up I was able to get a good look at his face. I wondered if that was his intent for pulling me to my feet, so I could see him. Although his features were still obscured by his hood I was able to get a good enough image.

He had a very strong jaw line and prominent bone structure. There was a barley noticeable cleft in his chin, and his cheeks were covered in stubble. If I wasn't so petrified at the time I might have been more taken by his ruggedly handsome features, and charming yet sadistic smile.

xxxx

Now that I was standing I not only felt the chilling Autumn breeze, I was also now face to face with my nightly visitor. Well, almost face to face. He was about a head and several inches taller than me. And all I did was stare at him with a quizzical look. It's all I could do, for my body seemed to turn to stone once he pulled me to my feet.

"Well miss Vlando, as a Speaker for the Black Hand I have come to you tonight with an offering. We have certain business to discuss." he released my shoulders and waited patiently for me to respond.

Which I didn't, so he went on.

"You see, the Black Hand has need of someone with your…Unique abilities. We've not had such a merciless sister in quite some time, and The Dark Brotherhood is always looking for new recruits."

I felt my stomach drop. A giant lump formed in the back of my throat and stopped me from breathing. "_The Dark Brotherhood? By the Nine, I knew this man was dangerous but an assassin?!"_ There was nothing comical about my current situation. Once again I wanted to run off flailing my arms in the air screaming.

And once again, my commonsense and stubbornness had gotten the better of me. I stayed rooted to the spot.

"This may be somewhat difficult for you to grasp. We haven't had a child in the family for many years, but you are just like us. You may be young, but you are certainly more than capable of committing murder. You would be awfully useful to the brotherhood miss Vlando, and you would find yourself safe and, content while living in one of our sanctuaries."

I don't remember doing so, but I had found myself shaking my head back and forth. No. no to what? But it became apparent Lucien was wondering the same thing.

"No? You do not wish to join the Dark Brotherhood?" he crossed his arms and watched me carefully as I tried my best to get a hold of myself. I took in a deep breath and spoke as calmly as possible.

"I-I cant, I'm not a murderer. It was self defense, he deserved to die. I'm no killer, I did the world a favor."

Lucien began to rub the stubble on his chin, his mouth pursed as if in deep thought.

"Not a killer." he repeated my words, a playful smile forming on his lips. Then to my surprise he sighed heavily. Almost as if he had given up. I felt a sudden wave of relief wash over me.

"The Night Mother seems to think otherwise. I was truly looking forward to having you as a knew sister, but if you don't want to join I wont force you." even though his voice sounded dejected he was still smiling. I had an odd feeling that this wasn't over yet.

"Oh, but before I go I should warn you to stay off the roads. There is currently a fairly large group of guards looking for a certain runaway. She is said to have black hair and blue eyes and is a suspect in her brothers murder. There is a lovely bounty on her or shall I say, your head if found. But of course it was self defense, I'm sure the Imperial Legion would understand."

My knees felt as if they were going to buckle. "_The Imperial Legion? Gods, word has gotten out so fast."_ I swallowed hard and looked up to Lucien who had his back turned to me and was about to walk away. But then he looked over his shoulder toward me.

"Pity, you would have made such a lovely new addition to the family."

He took a step forward just as I called out to him.

"Wait! I'll, y-you can keep me safe, right?" he slowly turned around to face me.

"Of course. If you became our new sister that it is. Why, having second thoughts?"

I dropped my gaze and stared down at my feet. There was nothing else I could do. With the legion after me on my own I'm as good as dead. But this _Speaker_, is promising me protection, and family. I'm not so sure I want a new family, my old one didn't work out to well. Still, protection I could use, I would do anything to safe my own hide. I'm greedy that way, I always said I would die for what I want.

Why not kill for it instead?

xxxx

"I'll do it."

It was exactly what he wanted to hear, his smile gave that away. For some strange reason I felt like something deep inside me just died with those three little words. But I also felt like at the same time something else was born to accommodate the dead empty space.

"Excellent, I thought you might come around." He turned and walked over to me. I wasn't entirely sure how to react. I had just given myself to the Dark Brotherhood and from what I have been told, its an evil blood drinking cult.

So then why do I feel so safe?

Lucien brought his hand around his side and reached for the hilt of his weapon. I couldn't tell what type of blade it was, nor did I care at the time. When someone is reaching for there blade you don't necessarily wonder its origin. Or at least I don't.

"Here allow me to present you this gift, it is a virgin blade and thirsts for blood. You will need it for your upcoming task."

He handed me a black dagger. I skeptically looked at the blade and then back to him. I had used all types of knifes and sharp blades in my time. I've spent many hours in the kitchens you see, and am familiar with the shapes and uses for almost all sharp utensils.

This one though, was different. It was indeed razor sharp, but it became much wider along the ridge. This wasn't the tool chopping or for self defense, but more as a dagger specifically made for slicing something open and prevent the slash mark from closing.

The perfect weapon for a cut-throat. An assassins bread and butter. But nothing is perfect.

As I looked closer at the blade I noticed along it's hilt was the word _Woe._ It was elegantly engraved, and painted over in gold. Which I thought clashed beautifully with the ebony blackness of the dagger. But all in all, _Woe_. Not the exact words of luck I would want attached to my hip at all times, but it certainly was a beautiful tool. Who was I to complain?

I looked back up at the Speaker. He was standing there nonchalantly, his arms crossed behind his back. He seemed so at ease that I found it hard to believe he was an assassin. But then when I remembered his face, and those dark eyes.

It only took one glance at him for it to be permanently burned into my memory, never doubt him or his abilities.

"What kind of task?" I asked warningly. I already knew that I would have more blood on my hands before my birthday came around. I just didn't think it would be so soon. Fate is funny like that sometimes.

"Why your initiation of course. You are to travel to the Inn of Ill Omen, are you familiar with the Green Road my dear?"

I shook my head slowly. This was the farthest I have been away from Chorrol in quite some time. And I never before wandered beyond the borders of the Imperial City. I was always told to stay off of the Green Road and away from the southern end of Cyrodiil.

Lucien reached into his robe and pulled out a folded piece of parchment. But upon further inspection I discovered it was a detailed map of the province.

"You know how to read a map I presume?" he asked as he unfolded the paper and held it out for me. I nodded and took it.

_"Read a map, it doesn't take a damn wizard to read a map you know."_ I opened it up and let my eyes run over the print. I then stared at it with an owlish look. It would take me about a weeks worth of travel on foot just to get there, never mind how long it would take me to locate then travel to this Inn.

I didn't notice Lucien was behind me until he reached over and pointed to a fork in the road on the map, several miles below the Imperial City.

"That is where the Inn lies. If you leave in the morning it will only take you a little over a week to get there and carry out your task."

I certainly was not looking forward to a weeks worth of walking. But what other choice did I have? I was to leave at dawn to walk for a week to be initiated into a cult of Daedra worshipping assassins.

Hmm, I probably should have choose the latter.

"Alright." I sighed "But what do I do when I get there?"

Lucien walked around me again so he was facing me. He had a very stern expression on his face. I could tell that this was what he was waiting for, the reason of his visit. It was now time to discus this _business_ he had pointed out earlier.

"Once you arrive at the Inn you are to locate an old Breton by the name Rufio. He has currently taken a room there and is in hiding. He should be easy to find; old and paranoid I'm sure." Lucien then lowered his voice so it was soft and gentle.

It was now time to bury the hatchet…forgive the pun.

"You are to kill him, in any manner you see fit."

_"Gee, was that all? I thought I would have to do something wrong and immoral. Silly me."_ I didn't dare voice that aloud though. I had already committed a murder. I don't like saying it, but it was murder. I can hold a grudge you see, and when I want my revenge sometimes I go to extreme measures to exact it.

A bit of a flaw in my gene pool if you will.

"But do take my advice," Lucien continued with a now sardonic smile forming on his lips. "it would not be wise to burn down another Inn. You could get a name for yourself."

Throwing salt into the wound. A very effect way to get my utmost attention. Now I was bound and determined to kill this Rufio, just to prove him wrong. There would be no burning Inns this time.

Corpses? I cant promise that. I am a bit of a fire bug by nature you know.


	3. Location

Envy

Chapter two: Location

Lucien Lachance had left me once he gave me all the information I needed to know. Which wasn't much; kill Rufio and don't get caught. Fair enough I suppose, but I still was not exactly gung-ho for my new journey.

Still, as soon as he made the dramatic exit of disappearing before my eyes, I wasn't to keen on staying put. I wasn't one who felt comfortable with the possibility of an invisible assassin who could be lurking nearby.

No thank you, so I was off. Once again.

xxxx

I was going to stop in the Imperial City to stock up on my supplies but decided against it. Heeding Lucien's warning, I was going to try my best to stay out of the public eye. I even was cutting across the damn, Green Forest so I could stay clear of the roads.

I had a long way to go and still I was not sure why I was doing this. The woods are a dangerous place, I could get myself killed. I once heard a story about a bear mauling a group of adventurers you know, all that was left of them was their clothes.

And here I am, with nothing but some basic supplies and a dagger. Why was I risking my own neck for my protection? I have no idea, It didn't make sense. And all the while all I could think about was where my so called_ protection_ was coming from,

a group of assassins no less.

xxxx

The first few days of my newest endeavor were the easiest. I actually found enjoyment in the near silent forest. I would walk all day and only stop twice; once for a break, another to sleep. I had even become rather resourceful. I learned what berries were edible, and how to make a tent with nothing but sticks.

I was quite proud of myself.

But soon after, the adventure had lost its magic. It was around my fifth day of travel when I was no longer impressed with my survival skills.

It rained.

Have you ever huddled under a pile of twigs in a down pour? Well let me tell you, its no picnic. And around three in the morning, the wing blew away my little hut and I was left soaking wet in the mud. Thankfully I had eventually found shelter in a nearby cave.

The next morning I was awakened by a not so friendly _big mama_ wolf and her cub. Apparently she didn't like my intrusion on her home. I was chased out of her den, but at least I didn't get bitten. In a fit of rage I ended up pelting rocks at the cave entrance shouting about them not knowing the meaning of 'hibernation'.

And in my little tantrum, I was completely oblivious to the fact that someone was coming up from behind me.

"Hey fere 'lil lady. Whadda ya 'doin ou here all by your lonesome?" said a deep and heavily garbled voice.

With rock in hand I spun around to face my new visitor. Not surprisingly he was a Nord and a big one. With a just as big axe in his right hand. At that very moment, I began to wonder why all the psychotic men hung around the forest. First Lucien Lachance and now this, and oh boy was this one psycho.

Now Lucien may have had him beat in the creepy, shady character department but this Nord was something to truly behold. He was in all fur armor, yes fuzzy bonnet helm included. And was flashing me a bid toothless smile.

At least he wasn't slurring his word from alcohol like most Nords.

But it was not only the fact of him being a toothless wonder that made he tilt my head to the side and stare at him with a vacant expression. Oh no, it was the fact that he had a still bleeding, deer head tied to his right shoulder. Not a deer carcass. A deer head, and just the head.

Strange? I think so.

I shook myself violently to snap out of my stupor. I didn't feel threatened by this, err…eccentric. But I did feel the need to get away and quickly. I was just a little uncomfortable meeting strange men in the woods, deer head or not.

"Walking, now if you'll excuse me." I know there was no real reason for me to be rude. But I am an imperial, and it comes naturally.

Okay, I'm just a brat.

"Walkin?" asked the Nord as he lead to the right to peer over my shoulder toward the cave.

"Looked like you was fighden some'ed to me." I wanted to say, "_Gee, thanks captain obvious what was your first clue?" _But I didn't, instead my greedy little mind formed an idea. This Nord knew his way around the forest right? Maybe he is looking for a bit of work.

You don't need to know how to work the land to be resourceful you know.

I then amazed myself with my acting skills. Bratty teen one minute, lost and helpless young woman the next.

"Yes. You see sir, I'm trying to get home to Bravil, but I got lost." I shot him the most innocent blue eyed stare I could muster. It always seemed to work, especially on men. Something about the innocent little girl routine always seems to appeal to their better judgment. Better for me anyway.

"My father is waiting for me at an Inn. It is about another _whole_ day of walking for me and that creature," I said dramatically pointing to the cave behind me. "took all my food. I'm no adventurer like you, I don't know the land very well out here."

I then sighed heavily, "I just don't know if I'm going to get there on time to see my father. He's not a patient man, and without food I don't know if I'll have the energy to get there quick enough."

The Nord took a moment to soak it all in. It was a shameless little lie, but if it worked I could get something from it. Gods know what, but hopefully something good. He scratched the visible part of his forehead, ruffling his curly blond hair. Then I watched as the gears in his head started turning. His entire being seemed to glow.

I could have sworn I smelt smoke…

"Hey, I know da woods well. Maybe I could help!" Bingo. My blue eyes had never failed me yet. I hadn't expected them to now.

I stared up at him. Straining to make my face seemed puzzled. "Really? How?"

"Well lass, how fars dis Inn you was talkin bout?"

xxxx

Come to find, his name was, 'Erthem the Hunter'. Strange name, but then again he was a strange man. He was my guide. He told me that he had nothing else better to do so he would be happy to help me find my way around. And for free, he didn't charge me a septim. Which was very kind of him. To think I was at first going to pelt him with a rock.

What was even better than having Erthem as a guide was having him as a chef. At first I was a bit iffy on eating whatever he prepared, but I kept a close eye on him. I didn't think he would poison me, I just wanted to make sure whatever he was preparing was sanitary.

But that man could make anything edible I swear. Rabbit never tasted so good. I'll have to remember what he put in it, lily nectar I think. Odd. I wonder how he got that idea. I doubt they have lily's up is Skyrim.

Erthem was even kind enough to help me make a tent. He showed me the 'proper' way to set one up. And was I grateful? You bet, because later on that night it rained and I stayed dry as a bone. He left me though right after I had the camp all set up. But he did tell me he new the place I was looking for and to give his regards to, _Manheim_ when I arrived.

Manheim, sounds like a Nord to me.

But I learned something that day, looks are deceiving. Erthem looked like a creepy dumb Nord, and turned out to be a nice fellow, and the walking almanac on surviving nature. I would relay his message to Manheim once I found the Inn, if just out of respect for my former guide.

It didn't rain very long, it stopped in the early hours of the morning. But I woke up considerably cold, only then did I remember that it was well into Heartfire now soon to be Frostfall. I needed to speed up my initiation, something tells me I'm going to have to travel again once I finish off this Rufio. I doubt Lucien Lachance would want me to stick around after the murder.

I remembered what Lucien told me just moments before he left that night; "_The next time you sleep in a location that I deem secure, I will reveal myself once more. Bearing the love of your new family."_

I rolled out of my tent and hugged myself, it was really cold. "_What does that mean 'deem secure'?" _I didn't know whether or not I would get some type of sign, or if he would just randomly pop out of thin air. "_I hope he doesn't choose the ladder. That doesn't seem very polite."_

I decided to change my clothes. Cold or not, I had been wandering around in the woods wearing the same outfit for over a week now. And to be quite frank, I was starting to smell. But as I changed I kept on thinking. Especially about the way Lucien had spoken of this 'family'.

It was a bit frightening. He was always mentioning it, like he really believed that putting a bunch of murderers together made you a family. "_I'll believe that when I see it."_

A smile crept on my face as I pulled on my black and indigo blouse. "_One things for sure__though, this Speaker; Lachance, seems to be quite the family man." _I then got many amusing images of Lucien Lachance, shadows cascading over him and shrouding his menacing features. As he held a screaming child in one arm and had another three children running around his feet whining and complaining to there 'daddy' Lucien.

Those thoughts and images kept me amused for the rest of the walk to the I'll Omen. I noticed that when in a brighter mood time fly's by quickly.

And how could I not be amused? The man who put me through a weeks worth of walking and hell, being bombarded by a onslaught of stinking, screaming children. I think that would be a suitable punishment for the _family_ man.

xxxx

It was about noontime when I finally found the road again. I have never before been so happy to see the worn cobblestone street in all my life. What made it even better though, was that just up the hill I could make out a small building. The first one I had seen in a week.

"Sweet salvation." I murmured as my step quickened. I so longed to be inside a warm cozy cottage. I could already imagine myself in a fine, comfy bed with fluffy pillows. But sadly I had jinxed myself.

One should never call something that goes by the name of 'Ill Omen' salvation.

I stared up at the sign with dull anguish. There I was, standing in front of the most pathetic little excuse for an Inn I had ever laid eyes on. The exterior of the place just screamed ill. The wooden boards that were supposed to pass as the walls were starting to grow mold.

I was utterly disgusted.

Wincing slightly I reached for the door latch and gave it a good tug. The door's creak seemed to be endless as I pulled it wide open. I found that there was life in the place as I was met by the soft glow of candles. I stepped through the threshold, allowing myself inside. It was an _Inn_ after all.

I was soon greeted by a booming Nordic voice, coming from behind the counter that was straight ahead of me. I heard the voice of course, but saw no Nord.

"Well, I'll be a spotted Snow Bear, a customer!" I squinted slightly, fixing my gaze to the counter. Only then did I see the Chesnutt brown hair, and beady eyes peeking over the bars edge.

"Be right with ya lass, dropped a septim." Ahh, well that explains why he was hiding from me, I thought he was just shy. Or had a little too much to drink.

"You must be Manheim I presume?" I asked politely, while folding my arms behind my back and taking a good look around.

The place was a bit more than depressing, it was also bleak and…all around gross. To my right was some type of tiny dinning area. Though in my opinion anyone who ate here was a fool. I think the musty smell of the place would be enough to rid anyone of there appetitive.

But apparently I was wrong. For in the far off corner of the Inn was a middle age Redguard. She was helping herself to a plate of some indistinguishable hot mush. And upon hearing me speak she looked up gave a small smile then waved.

I returned the gesture and then brought my attention back to the now standing Nord.

"Yeah that's me, how'd you know?"

I gave him the same small, smile I had just given the Redguard.

"I believe I met a friend of yours, Erthem. He sends his regards." I then made my way over to the counter and began to debate on whether or not I was going to sit in one of the rickety looking stools. They didn't seem to stable to me.

Manheim gave a small chortle, and pocketed his, long lost coin.

"Aye lass, I know him. But I'm a bit curious to know how you found him. He spends most of his time in the woods nowadays. But I cant say I blame him, if I had a smile like Erthem's I would stay in hiding to."

I know its rude to talk ill of my former guide, but I couldn't help but laugh. After all the man should have practiced better hygiene. Being toothless was his own fault. I don't understand why he doesn't at least go to a healer, I heard they can grow them back in some cases. Or at least make him some nice wooden ones.

"It's a long story, but lets just say I met him during my morning hike." I finally sat down on the most stable looking stool. It made a small groan but didn't give way. Which was a good thing, I may be a lightweight but it's still a hard impact on your tailbone when you fall on a pile of chair rubble.

"Good enough for me." Manheim said while turning toward the cupboards behind him. "but what brings you here to this neck of the woods eh?"

"I'm on business." I said matter-of-factly while giving a small shrug.

"Business? Aren't you a bit young to be wondering the Green Road by yourself." he placed a bottle of bear in front of me, then straightened out his brown apron._ "Pfft, not old enough to walk on my own but he gives me beer, now that's using your brain." _

I impatiently began drumming my fingers on the counter. I could handle myself, and I hated being looked down upon for my age. Who cares how old you are as long as you know what your doing? In my opinion there is know such thing as age.

Once were born we all start to die anyway, you just get a bit smarter as you get taller.

"Yeah," I snapped throwing three coins on the counter I was about to make a witty and somewhat rude remark about his attire, when I heard a woman's voice coming from behind me.

"Oh don't mind Manheim sweetie, I'm sure you can handle yourself." I swiveled in my stool to watch the Redguard woman take a seat next to me.

"I never said that she couldn't handle herself. I just said she's young, that's all." Manheim began to pout like a small child, but that and his remark were completely ignored by the woman. I couldn't help but to noticed the way she leaned on the counter and spoke to Manheim. I figured that she must be familiar with this place.

But I did like her attitude, and her perspective…And her shinny leather pants.

"So, where you headed miss?" she started, taking a sip of her mug of what I presumed was ale.

"Bravil," I said quickly. "Just needed a place to rest for the day. I've been traveling for some time now."

She nodded and set down the tankard. "In a hurry then? Must be some important business to make you stop in this depressing place." I herd Manheim huff, and watched him out of the corner of my eye. He was now making a big fuss over some of the bottles of beer in the cabinet.

She then sighed and ruffled her dark afro, but smiled weakly at me "It gets awful lonely up here, not many travelers. I got no place else to be. It's just me and the Nord here." I carefully took a sip out of my beer, once I deemed it safe, and let out a small giggle.

The expression on Manheim's face was priceless. He was squinting those beady little eyes at her, making them almost invisible. And she just smiled sweetly at him, it was far two obvious that there was something going on between the two. Not many men would take a comment like that lying down.

Soon his face softened a bit and he shook his head. "Your forgetting our good, old pal in the basement." He said sarcastically.

I watched the Redguard roll her eyes, and huff. "That sod? I try to forget he's even here. Mean old thing."

I quirked my brow wondering who the supposed 'sod' was. "Who," I started but was stopped by Manheim was looking intently at me.

"Rufio," He said I noticed how hushed his voice was. But hearing that name reminded me why I was here in the first place. I had momentarily forgotten. _Oh yeah, that poor bastered._

The Redguard woman leaned over to me and said in even lower tone then Manheim's "I think he killed someone."

"Now don't say that," Manheim started "It's bad for business!" but he was once again not even acknowledged, for I leaned over and said whispered back "Really who?"

"Dunno," she then cocked her head to the doorway, "but he's been hiding here for weeks."

I turned again on my stool to see what she had cocked her head to, it was only then did I realizes the small trap door by the Inns entrance. As soon as my eyes locked on it I remembered Lucien's words; _"you are to locate an old Breton by the name of Rufio," _

I swallowed hard. I had just found my target.

xxxx

I faked a yawn and asked how much a room was. Manheim beamed, and told me ten septims. But the Redgaurd gave his outstretched hand a good smack, and made him lower it to six. But I couldn't help but to notice how reluctant he was to give me the key.

I liked her though, funny that I never did catch her name.

I went up to my poor excuse for a room, which was more like a small closet with a bedroll on the floor. But all in all, I laid down and closed my eyes. I could use a nap, and when I woke up I knew it would be dark. Then if I was lucky, Manheim and the Redguard would be asleep.

That was when I could make my plan.


	4. Taking Care of Rufio

Authors Notes: This chapter is dedicated to my first reviewer; CloudReader. Read Tajamerin and the Amulet of Kings it's awesome, and you'll be hooked. J

Envy

Chapter three: Taking Care of Rufio

It was nice for once not to wake up to _the_ most irritating song birds of Cyrodiil. Just peace and quiet, "_Gods I love the silence_." All was well. Albeit musty smelling of course…and there was that little fact that I was supposed to murder some old man in a crummy Inn's basement.

But at least it was quiet here.

Groaning I sat up. My back gave a painful throb. Sleeping on the ground for over a week now with not a complaint, sleep on a floor mat? Feels like I've been trampled by a group of angry Scamps. My body is so weird.

I pulled my pack out from the corner of the room and opened it up. To my dismay I was out of food, but there was no way on Nirn that I would purchase anything to eat here. Beer and ale? Maybe, but they were bottled.

It took a moment for my eyes to adjust to the dim light of the place, not that there was much to see. But I did need my eyesight to look for my shoes. I took them off at some point. Couldn't remember for the life of me where I had put them though. And I'm pretty sure that blind assassins don't make it very far in their line of work.

Well, maybe they do. Working in the dark and all that. Perhaps blind assassins do better than seeing ones…

Forgive my musings.

I reached into my pack again and pulled out the blade of woe. I examined it carefully, taking in it's shape and the feel of its weight in my hands. I wasn't sure how I was going to do this. How was I to kill Rufio, should I stab him? Or…

To my dismay I just realized I had forgotten a very important fact about myself.

I'm a bit squeamish.

Swearing under my breath I cast the dagger aside and hugged my knees. I really should have thought this through more. How good could a squeamish assassin be to the Dark Brotherhood? Now I don't faint when I see blood, but I do get a bit dizzy.

Which is why I'm so partial to fire. Searing flesh and bubbling skin are no problem for me. But there is just something about open wounds that makes my stomach do cartwheels. I get over it fairly quickly, its just the first glance that makes my throat tighten.

I am no mage, but I do know a basic destruction spell that is obviously fire related. I can even heal small nicks on my person to, a nifty little trick. Before my little episode involving lots of fire and a certain stepbrother of mine, I wanted to become a mage. Well, an alchemist who specializes in destruction spells.

Hehe, odd mix, I know. But mixing potions is fun.

But back to my dilemma, how to kill Rufio. Maybe I should just try to stab him. I don't know much about the human body but I do believe some of the body's main weak points are obvious. Then again I could try to poison him. But I don't think Nightshade blooms during the cold months.

All I could think about was using fire. To set him aflame when he was sleeping. But then I would have to deal with all the screaming, and the prospect of another Inn going up in flames. And with that I would most likely be mocked by Lachance. He did say it was a bad idea.

I heaved a heavy sigh. There would be no burning Inns this time.

Then it hit me, asphyxiation! Lucien said that he was old and weak. Maybe I could strangle him to death somehow. Or even better, make it look like he strangled himself.

Ah, I do so amaze myself.

xxxx

I wondered why I didn't think of this before. It was so simple, go in go out. No mess, and only a little fuss. How hard could killing an old man be? But then I suddenly remembered the middle aged Redguard leaning in closer to me whispering; _"I think he killed someone." _

I gulped. It could have been just some tavern gossip. There usually is a lot of it out here in the middle of nowhere. The locals have to do something to keep themselves busy. But why was the Brotherhood hired to kill a old man anyway? What could he possibly have done to make someone hate him so?

Against my better judgment, I was going to do it. I see no reason why Lucien would have lied to me about something like this.

Then again he is the Dark Brotherhoods Speaker, whatever that means. He could be a sadist. That I didn't doubt. And there was also the prospect of me being the real target, and Rufio the assassin. "_Well, that would put me in quite the predicament now wouldn't it?"_

I decided that before I make my final decision; to kill him or not, I should check the place out first. I slowly opened the door and crept into the upper hallway. In the room next to mine I could hear snoring. I assumed that it must have been Manheim's, it was quite late in the evening.

Quietly, I made my way down stares and looked about the room. I didn't think it was possible for this place to get anymore desolate. But without Manheim and the other lady by the bar, this place was damn near dead. With my pack slung over my shoulder and the blade of woe hidden inside my sleeve, as a precaution, I went over to the little trap door.

I jiggled the hatches handle to see if it was locked. It wasn't, Rufio was probably not aloud to lock it. Patron or not. Gently I pulled it open, it let out a low creak. Thankfully that was all, and judging by the apparent snoring coming from upstairs I didn't rouse anyone.

With the trap door wide open, I could make out a wooden latter right by the rusty hinges. But other than that I could see nothing. From my current view point all was black. I gripped the hilt of my dagger all the while saying under my breath, "I'm only checking the basement out, I haven't decided anything yet." constantly repeating those words, I took hold of one of the wooden bars and made my decent into the thick blackness.

Once my feet had hit the floor below I crouched down. I was in a small hallway. Lit by one very old oil lamp, that desperately needed fuel. It was only enough light for me to make out the two doors. Both were very old, and looked as though they may crumble if I pushed on them.

I silently made my way to the first door. Both of them were on my left, which was good for me as it aloud me to stay hidden in the shadow. I was about to reach for its handle when I noticed a faint light out of the corner of my eye. It was coming from the crack in the door at the far end of the hall. I knew that had to be where Rufio was.

I peeked through the key hole in Rufio's door. I could see almost nothing, if it wasn't for the small candle on his dresser by the bed I would have. But what I could see was enough. There sleeping peacefully, wrapped in the coarse linen bed sheets, was my target. And yes he was sleeping, I could see the rapid movement of his eyes.

Sleeping and dreaming.

xxxx

For someone so paranoid to hide away in an Inn's basement, you'd think he would lock the door. Bad luck for him though, even with it locked I could get in. Simple locks are not meant to be complex, their mostly there for show. But Alas, he didn't lock it. I should thank him really, he saved me a bit of time.

I was standing in the middle of his room now. Watching him sleep and taking in my surroundings. I was wondering how I was going to make this work. Right behind me, directly opposite of the door and pushed against the wall, was a old picnic table. That I was going to need.

Other than that, the room was sparsely furnished. He had a cabinet by the table, his chest of draws, the old bed and two chests. The only thing that was meant to make the room look more habitable, was a old rug. But it did anything but wonders for the place, it was torn, stained, and of course moth bitten.

Eww.

I looked down at Rufio's sleeping form. He was balding and one could tell that time had not been kind to him. He must have led a tough life, for it shown in the deep lines upon his face. At first I was going to swear the lot upstairs crazy for thinking such a old, pathetic looking man could commit murder.

That was before he began to talk in his sleep.

All that he was mumbling was muffled, his face was grieve stricken. I was going to dismiss his behavior for a nightmare, but the way he sounded made me think twice. Call me crazy, but it almost sounded as if he was reliving something he had done.

"No, sorry…Accident." I tilted my head to the side and watched him intently. I was a bit interested in why my target was having nightmares.

I guess I found the whole ordeal sentimental in a way.

"I-I told her, her fault. didn't listen." I then felt a twinge of guilt. In his sleep he was pleading his innocence. I was vaguely reminded of the words I had repeated in my head when I was running away from Chorrol; _"It wasn't my fault, Petter didn't listen."_

xxxx

My hands balled into fists as I felt a warm tear slide down my cheek. Rufio; my target, had unknowingly awoken my conscience, and my memories. I hated Rufio. I couldn't care less now why the Brotherhood wanted him dead. Because I wanted him dead. He made me remember, he made me cry.

I didn't feel guilty for killing my stepbrother, but it was the reason why I had to kill him that made me cry. Peter was a freak, a sick, freak. But let it be known that I am no weakling, what had happened then is done, I have no need to dwell on the past.

For what happened that night sealed his fate, and my own.

Just like now. Rufio had just sealed his fate and wasn't even aware of doing it.

Like a crazed mountain lion I pounced on him. Landing firmly on his chest. I may be a small girl, but I made it a point to try my best to crush him. His eyes popped open, he stared at me dumbstruck for a moment. But I didn't even give him time to react. I felt my hands wrap around his neck, my grip was strong as I was powered be adrenaline.

And blinded by fury. I have never wanted to strangle someone before.

To my surprise, it was…fun.

I was crushing his windpipe with ease. He couldn't make a sound. It was all so perfect. I watched his eyes swell and go bloodshot, his face turn blue. It was amazing, how strong I seemed to become when powered by rage. He was weak like Lucien had told me, and only struggled for a moment before he went limp.

xxxx

Even when he was dead I couldn't bring myself to take my hands away. I had just watched the life leave someone's eyes. Hell, lets not beat around the bush, I was the one to take his life away. And I had enjoyed every second of it.

I didn't even realize that I had been smiling until the corners of my mouth began to ache. I must have held that crooked grin the entire time.

I went to pry my hands away, when I noticed that my nails had bit into his flesh. Little crescent moon shaped cuts adorned his thick neck.

Oops.

How was I going to pass this off as a suicide if I had cut him? Try my best to cover it up that's how.

I slowly climbed off Rufio's corpse and pulled it off the bed. Once his body's soft thud resounded off the walls, I began to tear up his sheets. Winding the linens tightly in my hands to create a makeshift rope. I then hopped up on Rufio's dresser in order to reach one of the Inn's support beams. I carefully tied one end of the rope to the beam and the other to Rufio's neck.

Genius.

I carefully and silently, pulled the picnic table over to where the body hung. Making sure that it was just out of the corpses reach. I had to make it look like he killed himself you know, Its not like he could have flown up there and hung himself.

Once it was all done, I marveled at my work. Rufio's body swung in midair like a pendulum. By the time Manheim found him the rope will have chaffed the skin, my claw marks will be nearly invisible.

Claws, hehe. I humor myself.

xxxx

I left the Inn of Ill Omen later on that day. No one expected a thing. Which was wonderful, ignorance is bliss. Manheim had even been kind enough to recommend another nearby Inn if I ever was to travel this way again and was looking for a place to stay with higher quality. I think he noticed how finicky I was. I wasn't exactly what one would call nonchalant about it.

The Inn he had told me about was my next destination. It was just south of the Imperial City, and was called the Faregyl Inn. He also said it was run by a friendly feline, remember the claws comment earlier? Irony, very amusing.

So I was on my way, and I was so excited about the whole 'higher quality' comment. I wanted a warm bed so badly. But there will be no jinxing it this time. I'll keep my trap shut.

I took the risk of walking the roads. It had been over a week now, maybe they will think I'm dead. And lets be practical, I doubt the legion is all in a tizzy over a missing girl. Sure I may have killed someone, but don't they have other things to worry about? Other criminals to bring to justice? I think so.

I arrived at the Faregyl Inn at record time. Let me just say it was much more pleasing to the eye than the Ill Omen. It resembled a cottage, and was rather adorable. I couldn't wait to get inside.

Pushing the door opened I looked around, I could hear idol chatter and clanking silverware. The smell of freshly baked bread filled my nostrils and made my stomach roar. Yes roar, I have a rather mean stomach. I entered hurriedly and made my way toward the counter which was almost directly opposite of the doorway.

Sure enough the first thing that caught my eye was the golden, swishing, tail of a Khajiit. It was obviously a female. Not to many male Khajiit have breasts and wear burgundy skirts. She turned to me and flashed me a big toothy grin.

"Welcome to the Faregyl Inn, This ones name is, Abhuki." she paused to point to her chest proudly, "Owner and proprietor, do you wish for food, or to rest? This one will have a bed made for you, if desired."

I nodded and reached into my bag, "Both please." pulling out my small coin purse I waited for her to name her price.

"Excellent, your room will be upstairs, first door on the right. Ten gold." I pulled out the required amount of septims and handed them to her. She counted them up quickly and nodded.

I took a seat on one of the stools and began to drum my fingers on the counter as she handed me my room key. "So," I started, a sly smile taking form on my face. "what's on the menu?"

xxxx

I wanted to die.

I finally went off to bed around eight in the evening. All day long I had ate nonstop. Stupid me, now I was paying for it. I felt like I was going to pop. But I had at least remembered to restock my food supply before I gorged myself into Oblivion.

I walked into my room grumbling and holding back the need to be sick. I reached into my rucksack and pulled out a baggy green tunic, and tan linen pants. I wanted to savor every moment of being in such a nice clean Inn. That includes changing into pajamas. I wanted to be as clean as possible. And if you wear the same close everyday you aren't necessarily _clean. _

Or at least I don't think so.

I changed quickly and flopped onto the soft mattress. Tugging the covers out from under me and pulling them over my head. If I was lucky I would die of suffocation and my stomach ache would go away. But as soon as that though made its way into my head, I felt a twinge of sudden guilt. I quickly pushed it out of my mind though, and went to sleep.

I was sleeping like I was dead. And proud of it.

xxxx

I was rudely awakened by the blankets being torn from my body and the icy chill of the night air.

Why was my window open?

I opened my eyes lazily, half expecting to see my step mother running at me with a comb. But instead I was greeted by a dark figure looming over my bedside.

Hmm, I wonder which is scarier.

But nevertheless, I was scared out of my wits. I pushed myself over to the opposite side of the bed, so I was sitting on the mattress with my back against the wall. I felt my heart hammering away in my chest, I was about to call for help when I recognized the dark figures voice.

"You seem as though you were not expecting me, did you forget our arrangement?" asked Lucien a sardonic smile playing on his lips.

"No, but by the Divine, I was expecting some sort of warning." I placed a hand over my heart, afraid that it was going to burst from my breast at any moment.

"Forgive me, I seem to have left my messenger pigeon at home." If I had not been so afraid, I may have glared at his last little sarcastic remark. But instead I watched him as he pulled a chair up to the bedside and sat.

I suppose that hovering over people so much would make one a bit weary.

"You sleep rather soundly for a murderer, It took me three tries to wake you." He folded his hands in his lap and watched me intently.

"I suppose then that all went smoothly?" I couldn't help but to notice that smile of his grow in the, 'I know something you don't know' way.

I didn't like that look.

I pursed my lips in thought, "Yes, but may I enquire how you knew this? Him being, err…dealt with I mean."

His smile broadened as he tilted his head to the side a bit. "A Speaker has his ways." he paused to let me soak that in before continuing.

"You will soon find that all in the Dark Brotherhood knows a great many things. For you are now part of the family."


	5. A Speakers Guidance

Author Notes: Thanks everyone in advance for the reviews! As always, they (and constructive criticism) are welcomed, appreciated and make me feel all fuzzy inside XD chapters; five and six coming will be up soon!

Envy

Chapter four: Speakers Guidance

What was with him and that word; Family? Is he really that far off his rocker? I certainly hope not, for the simple fact that he is still sitting across from me._ "Gods please don't let him be that daft!"_ I really don't want to be alone with a psycho. Wait, he kills people for fun. Of course he is psycho.

Damn, should have thought about that.

"What are you thinking miss Vlando?" he asked watching me intently. I wanted to say, "_That you're a psycho."_ but I didn't. It isn't like me to speak my mind sadly.

"Umm," I bit my lip and looked away. His gaze was unnerving, that's what I was honestly thinking. But once again I wouldn't speak up. Instead I shifted uncomfortably on the mattress and brought my knees up a bit higher as I tried to think of something to say.

"what happens now?" Yeah that's a good question right? His expression never wavered. Constantly scrutinizing me his eyes. I couldn't even bring myself to look in his direction. I was afraid of what he would do if I did. I doubted he would do anything, but then again, the whole psycho thing. I think I have a reason to be cautious.

"Now? Now you embrace your fate. For the slaying of Rufio was the signing of a covenant, your signature. Rufio's blood the ink." I shivered at the thought of blood but I was still listening to him. Almost hanging on his every word.

For some strange reason this Speaker; Lucien Lachance, interested me. I didn't know why, nor did I care. I was simply drawn to him he was, different. I just had a feeling that he was about to play a very important role in my life.

"Not that there was much blood to use. Strangulation, very clever for a beginner. What made you think of doing that?"

I opened my mouth to say, _I don't know _or something of that like. But stopped mouth agape to stare. It only took a second to put two and two together. He must have watched me. I wasn't sure if I should feel; angry, honored, or embarrassed.

I mean, I did have an emotional breakdown which drove me to kill him.

He chuckled then confirmed my assumption. "Yes, yes I was there. It was a rather interesting display. Clever, and somewhat disturbing. But interesting nonetheless."

"_Did he just call me disturbing? He's the damn assassin not me!"_ Well, technically I think I am one now too but still, the nerve!

I went to make a retort but was cut off by him leaning in closer to me on his chair. "Tell me child, what made you weep?"

There was no smile on his face this time. He was curious, I didn't know there was such a thing as a curious assassin. The more you know I suppose.

I felt a lump form in my throat and swallowed it down hard. It was this new strange look he was giving me, It made me feel like the foolish teenage girl I am supposed to be. Because I didn't know how to react to it. It was penetrating and calculating, I have never felt so studied before in all my life. I began to wonder why he would care if I was crying or not.

Probably beginning to change his mind about the whole hormonal assassin thing.

I began to blush with embarrassment. I could literally feel the color rise in my cheeks. And with the fact that I have always been sickly pale, I must have looked like I had been slapped hard across the face.

"I-I wasn't crying…" He quirked his brow,

"Oh? Do not lie to me child. I was there, or have you already forgotten that?" His smile was slowly returning. "_Oh he is most definitely a sadist!"_ I felt my blush deepen in color as my face became hot.

"They were tears of joy, _Mr_. _Lachance_." I snapped sarcastically, though my voice still quivered a bit. He looked up and to my surprise laughed.

"Tears of joy? You are a piece of work miss Vlando." he then relaxed in his chair a bit, "The Cheydinhal Sanctuary will suit you just fine." I knotted my brows together and thought about this 'Cheydinhal Sanctuary'.

I had a feeling I was going to have more traveling to do before the night was over. And was not looking forward to it.

" But know this," he started, all amusement gone from his voice, "not many would be able to talk to me in such a way and get away with it my dear." I stopped my musings and looked up at him. He was leaning back in his chair, his eyes fixed on me once again. Albeit colder this time. Or maybe it was just his hood and how it shrouded his face when he leaned back.

Let us pray it's the latter.

"You have a sharp tongue on you, it would do well to blunt it." I felt my eyes begin to widen but quickly stopped them from doing so. He was drumming his fingers on the chairs arm rest.

Had I just been threatened? I believed so, I didn't move. Once again he had turned me into the frightened rabbit, and I was toying with the panic card.

"Your silence is not very reassuring. But it will suits you just fine if you don't learn to cut the sarcasm out of your speech." I certainly didn't like the 'cut' remark so I froze. He leaned closer to me again. And I was half hoping that he would fall off his chair and onto the floor.

Half hoping. On one hand it would be amusing, on the other he would most likely get upset.

And after that last little warning of his, I don't think I want to find out what he does when he gets upset.

"You do not need to fear me sister, I am just guiding you. I know it is difficult for one as young as you, to learn all of these things." _Fear_ him? I'm petrified of him, _he_ is my new boogeyman for Mara's sake!

I was unknowingly balling my hands into fists. I do that a lot when I feel, uncomfortable. The only thing that made me realize it was when Lucien had turned his head to watch my right hand. My apparent white knuckles must have caught his attention.

"Your hurting yourself." He stated lamely, as he reached out and took my hand in his. At first was going to pull away, but the stern look he gave me told me not to. So I merely flinched instead.

He held my hand in his lap as he began to pry open my fingers and stare down at my palm. "Is this a habit of yours?" he asked looking up at me again. There was a short pause, but I managed to say, "I don't even realize that I'm doing it." though I said it so quietly, I doubted he heard me.

"Your going to damage the nerves in your hands if you keep it up." there was a short pause as he watched my hand as if I was holding something very interesting "You drew blood."

Ah, blood to the assassin; must be like a moth to the flame.

I then felt a odd tingling sensation, starting at my fingertips. It was soon followed by a warm rush that made its way all the way up my arms and to my chest. I inhaled sharply, It shared the same feeling of someone running warm water over my arms. It was a restoration spell, but unlike my own this one didn't involve a lot of useless muttering and concentration.

And also unlike my own it wasn't a cold rush that closely resembled being dowsed in ice.

It was more like a warm caress.

"There. Better?" he asked. I was watching him with a mix of relief and odd suspicion. I hadn't mortally wounded myself, I didn't see a reason for healing me.

I continued to watch him as he still held my hand in his. He then placed two fingers on my palm and began to slowly run them across my skin. For some strange reason I felt my insides begin to squirm. But also flutter.

Is that possible to feel those two things at once?

"Can you feel that?" I nodded hurriedly. The sensations were making me shift uncomfortably on the sheets, and I felt the urge to pull my hand away "Good, than you suffered no damage from your ill habit." To my relief, he released my hand and I found myself cradling it in my lap like a long lost puppy.

"Despite your thoughts and the rumors about the Brotherhood, you will find us all to be a," He paused, searching for the correct word, "caring bunch." he then flashed me another of his crooked smiles. "_Its going take more than you healing a 'boo-boo' to make me believe that one." _

xxxx

I let out a small sigh. My muscles were very tense, but I was unsure of why. Either it was the cold or him, maybe both. I looked over to my open window, "Did you open it?"

He quirked his brow and followed my gaze to the window, "No, why?"

For some reason I felt extremely uncomfortable now, he didn't open it and neither did I. Perhaps it was the Khajiit proprietor. I hugged myself and rubbed my hands up and down my arms, they had broken out in goose bumps from the chilly air. I wanted to leave, I no longer felt safe on the Green Road.

Assassin's in my room excluded from the equation. He had nothing to do with my new found fear.

Lucien stood and shut the window. "Did anyone know that you were staying here?" he asked quietly. I shook my head. Manheim and the Redgaurd thought I was going to Bravil, other than that no one new that I was even traveling this way.

"Possibly the wind," I couldn't help but to notice the look he was casting in the windows direction. He seemed…suspicious. Over what I didn't know, maybe he felt the sudden serge of paranoia that I had just felt. But I doubted it, he didn't seem paranoid, more like skeptical.

Maybe he just doesn't like windows.

He turned to me, back in his usual smile and with his arms crossed behind his back. "Now sister, you must travel to the city of Cheydinhal. Not far from the eastern gate is an old, seemingly abandoned house. You are to enter it."

I nodded, _"Anything just let me leave this place."_ He continued, but lowered his voice so it was just above a whisper. "Once inside go to the basement. You will come across the Black Door, and it will pose a question." He leaned closer to me "Answer thusly; Sanguine my brother. You will gain access to the Cheydinhal Sanctuary and are to seek out Ocheeva."

"_Black Door, Sanguine, Ocheeva. Got it." _Lucien then regained his posture and began to rub the stubble on his chin, "I now have a question for you miss Vlando." I looked up at him curiously, I didn't know what he would want to ask me. He seemed to be the 'I know all' type of guy.

"Do you think you are fit to travel tonight?" Now, I wanted to get the hell off of the Green Road but I was still awfully weary. "I don't know, I have been walking for a long time and-" I stopped as he raised his hand to silence me, "There will be no walking this time. Now do you know how to ride a horse?"

xxxx

I began to wring the hem of my green tunic. I had only ridden a horse once when I was a little girl, and it wasn't even a horse. It was a pony…so no.

I shook my head and than began to wonder where I would get a horse anyway. I was now down to one hundred septims, and when you travel that's not much. "Then it's settled." Lucien said as he walked to the door. I was wondering what had just been settled when he continued. "You will leave tonight. I'll give you five minutes to get yourself ready."

I opened my mouth to ask him an unsought of questions when he, once again disappeared. I watched the door open and then close. Five minutes wasn't much, so I went for my bag and pulled out my last change of clothes. But before I began to undress, I went toward the other side of the room with my arms outstretched.

I didn't want an invisible audience.

Once deemed safe I quickly changed. My brown linen shirt was the best and only option for traveling in colder weather. And the same goes for my black pants. I had just fastened the belt on my hip when I heard the door creak open.

Moments later Lucien appeared, "Good your ready. Now come along, we need to be going." I slung my pack over my shoulder and followed him out of the room. This time he didn't even bother with an invisibility spell, for everyone was in bed. The Inn's lounge was vacant.

xxxx

He pushed the door open and I was greeted by that all to familiar cold air. I hate the cold, to think I'm traveling north. Outside tethered to a post were two large horses. One was as black as my hair, the other was a dark brown bay.

I looked at both of the horses and gripped my bags strap a bit tighter. I wasn't afraid of heights, or horses for that matter. But combining the two makes me a bit nervous.

Lucien unhitched the brown bay horse and took it by the reigns. He beckoned me to follow him and I did, though a bit timidly. The bay was beautiful, and nowhere near as menacing as the black horse which I assumed was Lucien's.

"It's a very good natured animal, his owner would miss him dearly." I froze, _would ? _"What happened to it's owner?" I asked as I nervously reached up to stoke the bay's snout. To my surprise it leaned into my hand and whinnied affectionately.

I liked this horse.

"Let's just say I had business with her not too long ago, and leave it at that." I saw the white gleam of Lucien's teeth when he smiled at me through the darkness. "Oh…"

"The bay will shorten your trip, It shall only take you a three days journey." I turned to him and nodded. The bay horse's snout then brushed against my ear, trying to get my attention away from the Speaker. I giggled as I gently pushed it away. "Your awful persistent." I said to the horse and eventually gave in and began to run my fingers through it's mane.

Lucien was tending to the black mare when he turned to me again, "Beg pardon?" he asked. I went red and gave a nervous laugh as I pointed to my horse, "Oh no, it was the bay."

"Ah." Lucien said as he made his way over to my side. He then stared at me expectantly, "Mount it."

I watched as he started to smile, his eyes gleaming maliciously. _"He wants to watch me make a fool of myself."_ I mentally groaned and turned to the Speaker.

"How-" I started pathetically. I waited for him to laugh or sigh, but to my surprise he did neither. "It is really rather simple. Give it a try." He stood away from the horse and waited for me to approach the saddle. I did eventually, and placed both hands on the bay's back.

I bit my lip and tried to remember how my father had done it. He had always liked horses and as a little girl, I would always love to watch him ride. But once my mother had passed away, he sold them all in order to open up our 'little' Inn.

I closed my eyes and repeated my fathers actions. To my surprise I was on the horse. Upon seeing that I had successfully mounted, I grinned broadly and patted the bay.

"Very good, now we will not meet again until you reach Cheydinhal. I am needed elsewhere, but should be back in time for your arrival." I didn't bother to ask what he was supposed to do, or how he intended to get to Cheydinhal before me. I simply nodded and watched him take the reigns of his red eyed mare.

Yes, red eyed. Spooky…

"I'm quite certain you have many questions to ask me. You deserve answers of course, for you have more than deemed yourself a valued sister." he chuckled as he made his way to his horses saddle. "Not many possible recruits would hike for a week through the Green Forest."

Ugh, I honestly didn't want to think about my past trip. No thank you.

"Oh and before I forget, feel free to travel along the roads now. I have taken the liberty of riding you of any suspicion in your relatives murder."

I wrinkled my brow and managed to ask, "How did you do that um, Speaker?" It felt strange calling him Speaker, but I wasn't going to say 'Mr. Lachance' for a while now.

You know, the sarcasm thing. I think he scarred me for life.

He smiled at me, "Because they think your dead. Found another body you see. Tragic." He turned his head away from me. I think it was to hide that truly sadistic smile that was creeping unto his lips. I shuddered and thought of my dead look-alike. I couldn't help but wonder how she died.

"Sadly her face was unrecognizable, she had been murdered. Truly tragic." I gulped and looked away as he mounted his horse.

I then heard that freaky laugh of his, "Don't worry miss Vlando, she was a contract of mine. I simply put her body to good use." He pointed toward the bay "And her horse. Waste not, want not."

I just nodded, and wanted to get away of course. I suddenly felt very sick and very scarred.

I think I have good enough reasons to be. That little proverb of his was going to give me nightmares.

"We must now part, do make haste to Cheydinhal. I do not want to be waiting for you miss Vlando," he turned his horse and began to slowly trot toward the Green Road. He was heading south toward Bravil, not that I cared very much.

"nor do I want to have to hunt you down if you get cold feet. I am in no mood to drag my newest sister to the Sanctuary."

I stiffened on the bay and quickly turned him north to head along the road. I believe that he was just trying to motivate me to get there as quick as possible. Not that I doubted he would find me if I did indeed have second thoughts.

Which was funny, because when he mentioned my dead look-alike, I was.

"I'll be quick then." I said quietly. Wanting to show him that there was no need to sneak up on me again. The next time I stop at an Inn, I want no open windows or looming assassins overhead.

"Good, we will see each other very soon then. Farewell sister, and welcome to the family." There was a short pause followed by his horses hoofs beating against the ground. I craned my neck and looked over my shoulder. Once again he was gone.

That man certainly _is a living shadow. _


	6. Welcome Home

Authors Notes: Okay here is the next chapter, reviews would be nice. Keep them coming, they make me so happy! lol

Envy

Chapter five: Welcome Home

Despite the cold weather and odd circumstance, the Travel to Cheydinhal went smoothly. To a passerby it would seem like my trip was a peaceful one. But in truth, it was hell. My mind knew no bounds, I hadn't stopped thinking since I left the Faregyl Inn. I was mentally exhausted.

I had taken Lucien's advice and road straight through. I had only stopped once to sleep at the Inn. The bay, whom I had decided to call; Cagmy, which means: Crazy, Assassin, Gave, Me, You. _"Yeah, it fits." _Never tired.

Strong, hardy, Cagmy. It's got a nice ring, and he is such a sweet animal. I really didn't want to leave him outside that night I stayed at some cheap Inn. He didn't mind of course, but I still felt guilty. He was my new companion. My sane, non assassin companion.

And he's a great listener, never interrupted me once when I was talking.

Hehe, I did say I was mentally exhausted didn't I?

xxxx

I had so much on my mind the entire journey. To be blunt, _"Which Lucien had so kindly told me to stop being_," I'm scared. Who wouldn't be really? I wanted so badly to stop and rest, but I didn't dare to waste time. I was told to hightail it to Cheydinhal, so I did.

We arrived Middas early morning. I had never been to Cheydinhal before, but I could tell by the size of it's stone walls, it was something to behold. The first thing I did though was go to the stables. It was a nice little fenced in area, and it gave the horses plenty of room to roam and graze. It was called the; Black Waterside Stables, and held all black horses.

Hmm, I wonder if there is some sort of pun here. Black stables, black horses, Black Door, black robed Speaker.

Makes me wonder what the city is like.

As soon as I had Cagmy to the stable gate, we were greeted by a young Dunmer woman. She had a rake in her hand and I was smiling broadly. But I couldn't help but to keep an eye on the rake. I was a bit rattled by the fact that I was soon supposed to be meeting a group of murderers.

Woman with a rake? Killer if I ever saw one.

"Hello there Imperial! I'm Mivryna Arano, the stable hand." Oh, well I feel silly. Still Skeptical, but a bit silly. "Is this your horse ma'am?" she asked pointing toward Cagmy.

Now, I wanted to say, _"No, he's not. A Speaker for the Dark Brotherhood gave him to me after he killed his owner. Waste not, want not. You know how it goes."_ But that would be rude, and truthful. So I chose the latter. Who am I to disabuse?

"Yes, he is quite tired and I believe I will be staying in Cheydinhal for sometime now. Will he be able to live here in the stables?" I carefully dismounted and heard her laugh lightly.

"Why of course, the Stables are still free to the public. Ulrich hasn't taxed them yet, thank the Gods." I handed her Cagmy's reigns and thanked her. I didn't care about this Ulrich person. But he sounds like a Breton. Ulrich isn't necessarily an Imperial or Dunmer name. And being so close to the Morrowind border, I would think there would be more Dunmer's here than Imperials.

Once again forgive my musings, I'm usually not one to care about politics. I think I need to lie down.

xxxx

The city of Cheydinhal is beautiful! I have never seen buildings quite like the one's here, they are mainly white with dark brown trimming and are built upon stone foundation. It is much more appealing than the dank stones of Chorrol, let me tell you. And what made me like this place even more was the two little Inn's right by the city's entrance.

I was a happy girl.

I chose the first in on the left. It was called the Newlands Lodge, and looked promising. Upon entering it I was bombarded by sights and smells, but all were pleasant. The Inn was fairly sweet smelling and bright. There were many lanterns and paintings hung on the walls. All were interesting to look at, and that's coming from me.

I usually don't get so taken by paintings.

I went to the lounge and was surprised to see that the place was empty except for the redheaded Dunmer publican. She looked up when she heard me enter and smiled. She wasn't holding a rake, so I repeated the gesture.

"Hello there, what brings you to the Newlands Lodge? And in the early morning no less," She asked as she held her hand out for me to shake. I found that a bit strange, she was very friendly. Not many Inn owners greet patrons so warmly, coin in your pocket or not.

"I usually don't get many woman visitors, and when I do there always loud and green," she said with a laugh. I shook her hand and smiled "Orcs?" I asked pleasantly. I haven't seen many Orcs in my time, but from what I hear; loud and green sums it up.

"And a lot of them. Friendly lot though, so no complaints." she shrugged "I'm Dervera Romalen by the way, owner of this hovel." she rolled her eyes, gesturing to the building with a delicate flick of the wrist, apparently she didn't think to fondly of this place. Unlike me, I thought the Inn was a sign that the Divine still love me.

In there own Inn giving way of course.

"I'm Nerah, It's nice to meet you and your _hovel_" I said lightly. She laughed for a moment, "_Apparently I am a master of comedy_." then once she composed herself, pulled up two bottles of beer from the counter.

"Likewise my friend," she pushed one of the bottles my way "on the house." I smiled picked up the bottle from the counter, and took a swig.

"So, any reason in particular, you being in Cheydinhal?" She sipped her beer lightly as I pulled up a stool.

"Well, I'm here on, business."

xxxx

After spending nearly an hour of lying to Dervera, I was tired. She gave me her last room key and let me go. She was quite the chatter box, but friendly enough. I almost forgot what it was like to have friends. The Newlands Lodge was going to be my new binge drinking refuge.

Cause boy did we drink, and a lot.

I went into bed with the fuzzy feeling of oncoming drunkenness, and new that it was time to stop. I still had to find the house of psychopaths tonight. And I don't think that Lucien would appreciate me slurring the password.

Or vomiting on his robes for that matter.

I was laying on my bed deep in thought. Well, when your drunk the closest thing you get to thought, and I couldn't help but to feel that fear rise up in me again.

Or was it the beer?

Sanguine my brother. That was the password right? If I go to sleep now maybe by nighttime I can pronounce it correctly. Then _just_ to humor myself I tried to say it in my drunken state.

"Shangween my Broover." yeah, I didn't think I could do it yet.

I needed to sleep. Being drunk was never one of my favorite things to do. I actually frown on it, but I was just so nervous. All that lying and the events that are to take place tonight, I couldn't control myself. Closing my eyes I made a small prayer to the Divine, pleading with them to take away the drunkenness.

And to dull the upcoming hangover.

xxxx

Remember earlier when I said the Nine loved me? Well they don't. They hate me, I am the cosmic joke, forever to be cursed and laughed upon by them. Never mind the head splitting hangover,

I was still drunk.

Only my wits had come back to me, but my motor skills were still impaired. As soon as I got out of bed I fell on my face! Tonight was going to be one of the longest nights of my life, I could already tell. I took the pitcher of water that was by my bedside and began to repeatedly splash my face with cold water. Then testing myself, I stood.

Close but no cigar, I fell again.

Catching myself right before I hit the floor again I began to swear up a storm. I hated myself, how on Nirn could I have been so stupid? Now I have to bumble around the city of Cheydinhal at night, looking for the Dark Brotherhood.

I swear, I am cursed.

Giving up on trying to snap myself out of my bodies stupor, I pulled on my shoes and grabbed at my rucksack. Grabbed and missed mind you, it took me two tries to catch an inanimate object. Which is never a good sign in my book.

Then I left, holding onto whatever was still at the moment to prevent me from falling. Which included a very confused looking blond Breton who was staying in the room next to mine. I think he said his name was Jemane or something.

Odd, I think I've met him before.

xxxx

The streets were dark and cold. I longed for a cloak or something warmer than my brown linens to wear, but alas, I had nothing. I was following the dim glow of the oil lamps that lined the streets. Following them and leaning on them. It was like an odd game of tag really. I saw the lamppost, and grabbed it then moved onto the next one.

My game with the lights lasted for about a good half an hour before I had finally locater the eastern gate. And according to Lucien, the abandoned house was nearby. Now all I had to do was find it. Which was in fact no simple task I assure you.

My legs felt heavy as I wondered the streets. My footfalls have never been louder in all my life. I wasn't really walking parse, I was more like falling and landing on my shoes. If that makes any sense. Looking ahead, I soon saw a large chapel. I staggered towards it and almost fell flat on my face,

Again.

A sudden wave of nausea overtook me and forced me to sit down on the chapel's steps. I brought up my knees and rested my head on them, taking in deep gulps of the cold night air. I needed to get a hold of myself. I was suffering from a hangover, lacking motor skills, and worst of all fear.

The odd angle that I was sitting in was making me apply all my weight on my tailbone. And when your balancing all your weight there on cold stone, it hurts. Trust me. I hissed in pain and forced myself to adjust my position. But in doing so I looked up and noticed to my horror and relief, that there ahead of me was the abandoned house.

My heart began to thud loudly as I gazed upon it. Shivers ran up and down my spine and I felt my hands systematically ball into fists. It was so obvious that this was the place, but I didn't need the broken fence, rotting boards or overgrown garden to tell me that. The simple demeanor of the place screamed evil.

It was then that I felt it again. That invisible hand pulling me to the threshold, the darkness is always so inviting. For it hides all methods and intentions, good or bad. It will keep your secrets safe, as long as you keep close. I believe that is why I am so drawn to the dark.

And why I am saw draw to the Speaker.

I stood there staring up at the house. My new Sanctuary, how ironic that it lies so close to a church. I flexed my fingers, my hands had begun to ache from my iron grip. My arm shakily reached upward. I still barely had control over my extremities, but I was able to grab hold of the doorknob.

It was locked.

I was unsure to whether or not that was a good thing or a bad one. _"Maybe I can use that as an excuse as to why I didn't show up." _But as soon as that thought came into my head a, not so welcoming one came as well. And it was echoed by Lucien's last warning; _"I am in no mood to drag my newest sister to the Sanctuary."_

But just because he wasn't in the mood, doesn't mean he wouldn't do it. I felt a cold sweat begin to bead along my brow. There was no turning back now, whether I liked it or not. But honestly, the only thing that was keeping me rooted to the spot was my dignity.

I would much rather enter seemingly of my own free will than have Lucien drag me in by my hair kicking and screaming.

Which I would not doubt for a second that he wouldn't do.

I dropped to my knees to get a closer look at the lock. It was simple, and I could open it easily. If I could steady my hand for more than ten seconds anyway. Reaching into my bag I found just what I was looking for, my small necklace box.

Which in fact held no necklace, but my collection of copper lock picks. I was in a bit of a gang when I lived in Chorrol. A bunch of want-to-be thieves guild rugrats. The children of the nonstop working parents, needed something to do in there free time you know.

I carefully picked a lock pick out from the case and held it like one would hold a quill. Turning to the lock, I took in another deep breath. My hands were still shaky, I prayed to any Deity who cared to listen to my on going whine's to help steady my hands. With that done, I placed the pick inside the keyhole and began to work it.

When I heard the first tumbler click in place I swear I could feel my heart swell. Anticipation was now spreading through my veins like a wildfire. My youth coming back to me. That oh-so familiar rush one gets when there doing something bad. I felt my hands begin to act in there own accord, working the pick by mere memory.

I have said it once and I shall say it again, my body is so weird.

xxxx

After that first tumbler it didn't take long, I was standing inside the house about five minutes later. Trying to see in the darkness. I couldn't make out much but the endless sea of dust. The place certainly looked abandoned. I began to wonder if this was all some strange practical joke.

That was of course before I looked down.

Apart from the old broken furniture strewn across the floor, I was able to make out small footprints in the dust. They looked to be recent, and I felt a sudden twinge of curiosity come into play with my fearful emotions.

You know, curiosity and me never mix well.

I followed the trail of footprints. They led to a small bolted door. Bolted yes, locked no. I opened it and to my surprise it did not creak. The hinges were a new shiny bronze color, and well maintained. I guess the assassins don't want the citizens of Cheydinhal to be hearing a creaky door all hours of the night.

How kind of them.

Entering the basement was a strange experience indeed. Despite the cobwebs, random barrels and crates, the place was empty. I still wasn't entirely sure what it was I was looking for. The, 'Black Door' wasn't exactly descriptive.

But as I entered the larger vicinity of the basement, I saw the wall straight ahead of me. It looked like someone had a go at it with a sledge hammer. But that was from a faraway viewpoint of course. I soon found when I got closer, that each brick and stone had been carefully removed.

These assassins are so found of there doorways.

A reddish gleam of light had caught my eye. It was coming from the gapping hole in the wall. For a moment I thought that maybe Lucien had gave me the wrong door name. Perhaps it was the 'Sanguine Door' and the password was black, or something of that like.

Regardless, I followed the dim haze until I was engulfed by its red light, the source. Sure enough I was standing in front of a large black door. At least the name was right on the money, you think they would be a bit more articulate though.

There was a gruesome carving on the door, it was that of a woman holding a dagger and child. Beneath her were four small children, there hands spread up high in a 'V' shape. There attention was toward the dark skull shaped cloud that was looming above them.

And higher still was a imprint of a black hand. The door was full of symbols, that much was obvious. Everything on it had a meaning and stood for something. Needless to say I had no clue what. My attention soon went downward as my foot had accidentally nudged something on the floor.

I looked down, but soon wished I didn't.

It was a bone, a human one. I gasped and jumped back several steps. But that only gave me a better view of the Sanctuaries threshold. And to my utmost horror I saw the large crimson streaks that adorned the stone floor.

Blood, dried and caked on.

I'm usually not a swooning damsel, but once I saw that I felt my head go fuzzy again. My drunkenness hit me tenfold. I was going to faint. But just as the spots were starting to form in my vision I was immediately snapped out of it by the disembodied voice.

"What, is the color, of the night?" It rasped, I turned toward the Black Door and noticed it's eyes were glowing red. I knew immediately, that the voice was coming from the door, I just honestly didn't expect it.

I haven't conversed with many doors.

Lucien did tell me however, that it would pose a question. But I had expected someone to peek from a peep hole and ask me. Not some creepy door. Will wonders never cease?

I cleared my throat, I new the answer. My voice seemed to be in hiding though. It didn't want to talk to the accursed door, I couldn't blame it. But it was either speak now, or be greeted by _the_ Speaker.

Another pun, my life seems to be full of them nowadays.

Finally, I gained the courage and opened my now sandpaper mouth, "Sa-Sanguine, my brother." My mouth had become so dry, I sounded like the damn door. But it didn't seem to mind, because no sooner had the word brother escaped my lips, the door opened. In a tauntingly slow, and dramatic manner.

I hesitantly went inside, my legs were still wobbling and my palms were surely bleeding again. _"Great, now I cant even look at my hands." _I was in some type of dark corridor when I heard the door slowly creak shut behind me, followed by it a raspy,

"_Welcome home." _


	7. The Family

Envy

Chapter six: The Family

The door to the Sanctuary had bumped Lucien off of the top of my list of things to fear. The Speaker was of course scary, but he wasn't an inanimate object. When doors start talking to you, you usually start to question your sanity. At least Lucien didn't make me do that.

On the contrary, when standing next to him, I feel like the sanest person in all of Nirn.

Standing in the dark corridor I still had one rather fearful thought lingering in the back of my head,_ "Will the door start biting at my heels if I don't get moving?"_ Now, I was not about to risk losing my calves to a hungry door. So, I hastily made my way to its opposite end

It talks right? It could eat to.

Stepping out of the corridor, I entered a large room. The first thing I noticed was the two stone columns on either side of it. That and the rather tasteful red carpet of course.

Ehem, moving on.

While I stared in awe at the size of the assassins den, I did not notice the red eyed killer slowly making her way toward me. I had no time to react as I was soon warmly greeted by my scaly, black leather armor clad assailant. Whom, by right I should fear, warm greeting or not.

"Greetings, greetings! I am Ocheeva mistress of this Sanctuary," I must have jumped about ten feet in the air. She apparently didn't notice this though, as she continued on nonchalantly.

"Let me welcome you to the Dark Brotherhood. Sister do come with me, I have already heard so much about you and am eager to learn more." I was still trying to calm myself down when she had told me to follow her. I'm not partial to following murderers around some creepy basement that is guarded by a man eating door.

No thank you.

"Young one I will not harm you," she said and to my surprised smiled warmly at me. The way a mother would, the way my mother did. It seemed almost, genuine. "please, come with me." So, despite all my natural instincts, stupid drunken me, followed the Argonian woman.

Though even in a foul state of mind, I took in my surroundings fairly well. This was most definitely a haven, well, of sorts. The columns ran in pairs through the room. Each had a tapestry's of a black handprint draped over a thin iron bar that was mounted to the wall.

The Argonian; Ocheeva, was leading me straight through the 'main hall' and to a corridor, opposite of the evil door. I noticed the two very large wooden doors on both the right and left hand side of the large entrance room, I couldn't help but to wonder what was in them.

Perhaps bodies…

xxxx

The corridor was pitch black. There were no torches or any type of light source for that matter. So I stuck close to my Argonian guide. She lead me to the first door which was almost directly in front of the hall's entrance. I honestly didn't know how she found it, this place was really dark.

Pushing the door open she beckoned me inside. I was naturally a bit hesitant, but as I have said before, stupid drunken me followed her in. It was a bedroom I believe, or it held a bed anyway. There wasn't much furniture; a desk, a small table with two chairs and a dresser. It was all a bit too tidy for me. Now I like a clean room as much as the next killer, but this is a little _too_ clean if you get me.

Ocheeva pulled a chair out for me and gestured for me to have a seat. I did and was so happy to be sitting, my head was beginning to throb, I certainly wasn't looking forward to this little interview of sorts. She took the chair across from me and sat with her legs crossed. Her scaly tail hung almost limply in her lap.

"It is a honor to finally meet you little sister, truly the night mother smiles upon her most trusted daughters." She started to riffle through several papers that were laying on the table. I watched her a bit curiously.

I didn't think assassins were so orderly.

"We've not had a new recruit for this sanctuary in such a long time. I'm afraid Speaker Lachance is a bit fussy on who he wishes to join." she chuckled lightly and pulled up a small sheet of paper.

"Miss Nerah Vlando," she was reading directly off the sheet, "young female Imperial. Recruited during Heartfire." I know for a fact that it said more than just that. I could see a whole summary about me, it took up the entire page and I wanted to read it. But I wasn't going to yell; 'gimme!' at her and grab it.

That wouldn't be very polite. I like to think I was brought up better than that.

"Hmm, I see Lucien has already saved us the trouble of riding you of your warrants. He must be as eager as the rest of us to have a new sister. Our Speaker did go on about you, I believe he thinks you have great potential." She looked up from the paper and smiled again.

"Your initiation went beautifully, or so I've heard. You are now an official sister to the Dark Brotherhood."

I stared at her for a moment. A bit dumbfounded, I was in? "That's all? I'm a member already?" She blinked and studied me for a moment and then laughed,

the Dark Brotherhood all seemed to be a jolly bunch.

"Sister, this isn't like joining the mages guild. You took two life's, that is all the Night Mother requires. Well, that and of course your loyalty." It was now my turn to blink. I had some questions and I wanted answers.

"Who is this Night Mother that everyone is talking about?" Granted I asked her politely, and by, 'everyone' I meant her and Lucien. But she looked shocked and for a moment I thought I did something wrong.

"Sister! Lucien didn't tell you of our unholy matron?" She leaned closer looking utterly shocked. I quirked my brow and shook my head.

Unholy matron huh? Doesn't sound…cuddly.

She toyed with one of the small tusks on her head while simultaneously pinched her snout. "Oh dear," she started, "We do have much to discuss."

I felt my head pound at that. I wasn't really in the mood to discuss anything at the moment. Never mind some Daedra, doesn't the Dark Brotherhood worship Mephala or something?

Ocheeva sighed heavily, "Well, our Speaker will be here in the morning. Perhaps it will be better for you to here about the Night Mother from one of her Black Hand."

Once again I quirked my brow, this time she noticed and once again chuckled. "Speaker Lachance is going to really have to live up to his title in the morning. You young ones are always so full of questions." Ocheeva than stood. She reached down and took my hand, pulling me up from my chair. It was in almost the same manner Lucien had done to me the night we had met. She even had her hands on the same exact spots on my shoulders.

Coincidence? I doubt it.

"But come with me sister, I have kept you long enough Vicente is waiting for you."

xxxx

As Ocheeva led me down the corridors I was near bursting at the seams with questions. Most silly, like; 'where does that door lead?', or 'has there ever been a squeamish assassin here before?'. But I kept my mouth shut and wobbled down the hall close to the Argonian's heels.

Hehe, I almost stepped on her tail once.

The dark corridors seemed to be endless. There was a door every twelve feet. Always one directly across from another. By the time we reached this 'Vicente's' room I had counted up about a total of five rooms. This place was big.

His room was the last one in the hallway. The fifth door, and the one in the darkest part of the corridor. Ocheeva turned me to face her, she patted my head and smiled. "There is no need to be scared, just be yourself. He doesn't bite."

I couldn't help but to notice how her smile grew when she said that. I gave her a skeptical look as she knocked lightly on the door. "Brother, our new sister is here."

There was the sound of a closing book heard from the other side of the door, followed by a chair scraping across stone. "So soon? Well then send her in." Ocheeva opened the door and gently pushed me inside shutting it behind me. The room was almost completely black. Aside from the lone candle on the table, it was.

I watched as this Vicente, person had walked over to put his book on the shelf, his back to me. He was in all black, but not armor. Unlike Ocheeva he was casually dressed in a dark shirt, pants and boots.

"You're a bit early I'm afraid," he started as he crouched down to place his tome in it's correct place. He was a Breton, his accent gave that all away. That and the light brown hair color, almost all Breton's are fair. So when I saw the parchment white hands, I thought nothing of it.

Until, he turned around.

His eyes were red, his face gaunt and I could make out the tiny gleam of his white fangs, as he smiled at my shocked reaction. I had gasped and pushed myself against the doorway, drawing the blade of woe. I held it in both hands pointed directly at him.

Call it a hunch, but I don't think he felt threatened.

I didn't say anything as he started to chuckle. My whole arms were shaking from the stain I was putting on them. I _still_ could barley walk in a straight line you know.

"I would ask you not to be frightened by my appearance sister, but I can see that it's a bit to late to bother." I watched him as he tilted his head staring at the blade of woe. "I see we have our work cut out for us." He then stopped and sniffed the air, almost wincing, "A drunken adolescent? Lucien surely choose the pick of the liter. Dear girl you smell like a brewery"

I held my dagger out toward him but wrinkled my brow at his comment. _"I don't stink." _He sighed and sat down, "Forgive me for being so brash sister, long day." I still hadn't moved from the door and when he noticed he shook his head and smiled. "You do realize that if I intended to feed upon you I would have already done it, correct?"

There was a short pause and I slowly began to lower my blade. "And to be quite frank, I'm in no mood to wake up with a hangover." I found that a bit amusing. I for one didn't think vampires could get drunk.

Or dress so nicely, or maintain their hair.

Hmm, maybe he isn't _pure_ evil.

I felt the corners of my mouth turn up slightly. I have never met a vampire before. This could be interesting. To be quite honest, I am once again curious.

He gestured for me to take the chair next to him, I did. It felt strange to do so, but hell, what do I got to lose? "My name is Vicente Valtieri, executioner by rank. And you miss Vlando, are my newest pupil. Welcome to the family sister."

xxxx

Vicente Valtieri, the vampire. That's a lot of V's but it makes it all the more easy to remember. We didn't discus much, to be honest I barley talked at all. It was a bit strange to talk to someone who can tell your drunk just by smelling you.

I like him though. He is to be my new mentor, the person I get theses 'contracts' from. Contracts are assassination missions and luckily, I don't have any yet. According to Vicente, I wont be receiving any for quite some time. He apparently thinks I need some training, I suppose he's right.

But all-and-all, he is a very interesting individual. I'm glad I got up the courage to put down the blade of woe. Because right after a quick introduction, he answered some of my questions. None to important, I asked him where I would be sleeping though, so he gave me a tour of the Sanctuary.

The room closest to Vicente's is Lucien's. Then there is the study, a small library and Ocheeva's quarters. He also showed me the training room, and now we're on our way to the living quarters. Where my supposed family is.

And because of that my heart is now racing, and I think I may be ill.

We made our way into the bolted door that Vicente told me led to everyone. But as soon as we entered he stopped and turned to look at me. "You are nervous." it was not a question, he knew. I didn't know how, but he did.

I nodded sheepishly, my fingers flexing as I fought back the urge to ball them into fists. He smiled "It's good that you are anxious. But I can assure you that they will do you no harm. You are family now young one." he place a hand on my shoulder and I stopped myself from flinching.

"_Okay I like you, but that doesn't mean that I want to get all touchy feely." _I had to wonder if theses assassins knew the term 'personal space'. Judging by their constant hands on me I doubted it.

He led me into the living quarters and I was engulfed in light. The assassins den was surprisingly lit. Very shocking, but a nice change. The den was very well furnished, all sofas were a dark burgundy and looked plush…Very comfortable.

You know, the kind you want to jump up and down on.

Sitting at one of the dark tables was a group of people, whom all looked up once me and Vicente entered the room. One by one, the shadowy figures all stood and came forward. Each were smiling, but needless to say I was still scarred. The fist one who greeted me was another Argonian, this one though was a male. And he had the hood on his black leathers up.

"Greetings my newest sister, I welcome you to our home. I am Teinaava; brother to you, twin to Ocheeva." he held out his hand for me to shake and I took it. "it's good to meet you, err brother." he beamed, and I noticed that his smile did resemble Ocheeva's in a way. But I still didn't know that Argonian's could even have twins.

My thoughts were rudely interrupted by a forceful blow to the back. I staggered forward and griped the hilt of the blade of woe. I turned around to look up, but to look at my assailants face I had to crane my neck as far back as possible.

It was an Orc. And a _big_ one. Around seven feet if I'm not mistaken.

"Welcome!" he boomed, "Welcome to the family little sister! Well just look at ya, Ocheeva was right to tell me not to hug you! You would surely snap in two!" He began to laugh, his rising chest made the gleam from his steal armor hurt my eyes. And I backed away a bit as he continued.

"The name's Gogron gro-Bolmog, but just call me; Gogron." he opened his mouth to go on, but then a little blond woman came over and gave him a hard swat on the shoulder. "By Sithis, Gogron!"

The Orc, who barely seemed faced by her hitting him, looked down at her. "What Antoinetta?" the blond rolled her eyes and clucked her tongue.

"Your gonna hurt the poor girl. Your not supposed to hit new family members." the Orc went to protest but Antoinetta, ignored him and turned to me. "Hello dearest sister." she began, all anger gone from her features, I found that slightly creepy.

"If you need anything, anything at all you need only ask. I am Antoinetta Marie, you must be Nerah. We have heard so much about you!" She made a move as though she was going to hug me, but I heard Vicente clear his throat and she stopped. Instead of a hug she shook my hand.

I preferred that.

Just then a Bosmer, walked over to me. Her voice was soft and I couldn't help but notice that she looked tired. "Hello sweet sister, I am Telaendril; woodelf. It's nice to finally meet you." she pulled her hood back and unsung the bow from her shoulder.

"I have just arrived back from one of my contracts. I'm so glad I got back here in time to make your acquaintance." With one hand she fixed the bun in her dark brown hair, with the other she shook my hand. I was glad she wasn't so touchy feely like the rest of them.

"So sister Nerah, have you met everyone in the Sanctuary?" She asked looking around to all the other assassins. "I believe so," I began but then I heard Antoinetta Marie speak up,

"Nope, she has yet to meet M'raaj-Dar. It's for the better I think. Now-" but Antoinetta was cut off by a raspy voice. One that I knew could only belong to a Khajiit, and I was right.

"No, I want to meet Lucien's new toy," I looked up to the green robed Khajiit who was walking forward. A scowl set upon his face.

"Well, well, well, if it isn't the newest…" he stopped dead in his tracks as he could fully see me. His ears went flat to his head and his neck snapped to the side to look at Vicente.

"Is this some sort of a joke? What's he playing at? We've got to watch over some cub?!" I certainly didn't appreciate that remark. _"Cub? I'm no baby. And trust me I wouldn't want you as a mentor anyway my furry friend!" _

Vicente sighed, "Dear brother it is no joke. Lucien says the girl has much potential, and I trust our Speakers judgment, as should you." there was a short pause as M'raaj-Dar looked at me again.

"Then I have no words for the baby. Let her learn to walk alone." and with that he stalked away. His words didn't bother me really, I was just a bit nervous that everyone else felt the same. If I'm to live and survive with assassins I don't want them all to think I'm a helpless infant.

xxxx

I spent about another hour talking with the rest of the Sanctuary. I believe I put on a good show for them all. Pretending that I was so happy to be there, and eager for my first kill. I wasn't, I wanted to honestly run away again. But now I really do have nowhere to go.

Sure they all seemed friendly enough, but they were a bunch of killers all the same. It made me sick to know that I was one of them, just like one of them. The woodelf; Telaendril, became my preferred assassin. She didn't really talk about the many ways of killing or the love of some guy; Sithis. She seemed calm and sane enough, so I stuck closest to her.

She took me to the girls room and showed me to my bunk. There was not much else in our room but beds and dressers, a mirror or painting hung to the wall, and some frilly red carpets on the floor. In a way I guess I was happy, I belonged somewhere. Even if it was with a group of cutthroats, at least I had a roof overhead, food in my belly and people to talk to.

Hell, who knows? Maybe I'll come to like this life.


	8. Another Meeting of the Minds

Authors notes: Thank you all for the review, I do appreciate them! Here is chapter seven, let me know what you think . I usually don't do this but I may post chapter eight up sooner than planned as well, (depending on reviews and how long it takes me to proof read of course)

Envy

Chapter seven: Another Meeting of the Minds

I awoke sometime the next day. There were no windows so I didn't know the exact hour. At first when I opened my eyes I had forgotten where I was. I almost panicked, but it soon all came back flooding to me.

"_Oh yeah, Dark Brotherhood." _

Silently I made my way out of bed. I was alone in the room, and preferred it that way. Telaendril had been nice enough to give me one of her grey nightgowns to wear to bed. I like her, but still don't trust her yet, I believe I have reason to be cautious.

But I now have a bit of a dilemma, my rucksack is gone.

I had placed it by my bedside when I went to sleep so where was it now? I felt a bit panicky and tried to think of a place I could have forgotten it. Last night I was so out of my head, but I know for a fact that I put it down next to me.

I left the woman's room and entered the living area. Gogron was sitting at a the table in a green foresters shirt and was playing cards with the Argonian assassin Teinaava, who was still clad in his black armor.

It seemed to be uniform around here.

Upon my noisy and somewhat shaky entrance to the room, both males looked up. "Hail, my sister! Getting a late start I see." Gogron said with a big Orcish smile.

Teinaava though, noticed my somewhat rattled expression. "Sister Nerah, you look troubled, is something wrong?" I didn't want to rouse the assassins from the table. I'm a big girl, I can handle myself.

"No, no, everything's fine. I just seemed to have misplaced something." Though I held a sweet smile while saying this, my hands had once again locked into fists.

That can get annoying after a while.

"Oh, it wouldn't happen to be that bag of yours now would it?" My head snapped upward to meet Gogron's gaze. "You know where it is?" I asked a bit shakily.

The Orc nodded and placed a card down on the table. "Yep, mistress Ocheeva took it," Gogron smiled at his hand and placed yet another card down, "just about an hour ago. You were still sleeping."

Now I didn't have anything personal in the bag, but everything I had I owned. I'm a bit possessive and don't like it when people touch my things.

I was about to ask why she had taken it but no sooner had I opened my mouth Teinaava started swearing up a storm, to think when I first came hear I thought he seemed to be the calmest assassin. "By Sithis Gogron! Your cheating!"

"Am not, you just cant win a hand to save your scaly hide!" There argue continued and I soon discovered that I was not going to get anymore information out of them so, I left the living quarters in a bit of a huff to find Ocheeva.

xxxx

The main hall was empty and quiet. My best bet though was to check Ocheeva's quarters, so that's just what I did. I entered the dark corridor and made my way to her bedroom door. I was about to knock when I heard voices coming from the other side.

"Yes I believe so, but Telaendril had told me she had nothing. I simply took the liberty of getting my new sister some supplies is all." It was Ocheeva's voice, problem solved. She was obviously talking about me, at least I know she did have my things.

"No, you were being nosy again sister. You did the same thing to Antoinetta when she first arrived, remember?" Ah, the vampire Vicente is in there as well. I had half a mind to surprise them both but instead, I would eavesdrop. I approached the door and gently pressed an ear to it.

I feel more like a rebel that way.

"Oh fine! Yes Vicente I was curious, don't you think I have a right to be? With Maria just found de-" she was quickly cut off by Vicente hushing her.

There was a short pause, but I soon heard him whisper to Ocheeva, "This conversation is no longer private." I froze, he knew I was there, he had to. But I didn't think I made a noise.

My musings were cut short however, as Ocheeva's door opened. I jumped back just in time.

"Ah sister Nerah, I was just talking about you with Vicente. Can I help you with something dear?" I looked up at her. If I hadn't been listening in on their discussion moments ago I would have never suspected that she had been talking about me. She seemed so calm and held a warm and innocent smile.

The Dark Brotherhood should really give acting lessons. They would make a fortune.

"Um yes actually, Gogron told me that you had my bag. I was wondering if I could have it back now." I gave her an equally friendly smile. _"You know seeing as it is my bag and all." _She perked up.

"Why of course sister, a little birdie told me that you were out of things to wear. I had to go into town earlier today, so I bought you some things as well." I quirked my brow, I didn't know why she would have bought me things. I thought she was just trying to cover up to Vicente.

"Really? Thank you but, why did you-?" I stopped as she patted my shoulder. "We are sisters now, I believe it customary to get you something every now and then." she then laughed lightly, she was awful good at being convincing and covering her tracks.

"_I bought you something," _really she was saying _"I covered up for snooping through your stuff." _But at least I got some new things out of it.

So, no complaints.

I thanked her once again and left. If I had new clothes to wear than there was no reason to parade around in a nightdress all day. No matter how comfy it is to do so.

xxxx

Ocheeva was my new best friend. She must have bought out the whole damn store, all outfits were in my size and suited my tastes. Which is to say, almost all the clothes were black and blue. Both colors bring out my eyes, my favorite and in my opinion, best feature.

I'm not boring to look at or anything, but my dark blue eyes make me a bit more interesting. Not many girls with black hair are born with blue eyes.

Makes me feel a bit unique.

I dressed, nothing fancy; a dark blue and ashy grey, quilted doublet, with a pair of black pants. Like I said nothing special. But I loved them all the same, I'll have to thank Ocheeva later. I ran my fingers through my short hair to quickly brush it. I had no comb, but upon doing so I winced. Looking down at my palms I groaned, they were covered in small cuts and dried blood.

My stomach flip-flopped and I quickly placed my hands on my hips, to hide them from my line of vision. In an almost frantic manner, I began to rub them along my thighs. Trying desperately to get the old blood off. I didn't have freakishly long nails, I don't know how I do it.

When I finally got up the courage I looked down at them again. The blood was gone, but they were red and irritated. Not to mention it looked like I just walked on my hands through a mile of shattered glass. But I could live with that.

I sighed with relief and went to turn out of the room when someone spoke right next to me. "Yikes, how did you do that?" I spun around to see the tiny blond Breton; Antoinetta, beaming at me. Placing a hand over my rapidly heaving chest I sighed.

"Good Gods Antoinetta, you scared the daylights out of me." She smiled and shook her head. "Forgive me sister, I have a tendency to do that." she paused but then quickly added "Accidentally, of course." I nodded and straightened up.

She looked as if she had something to say, like she was holding the most important information and was about to pop from it. I tilted my head to the side a bit. "Um, is there something wrong?" she shook her head but her light blue eyes widened.

"No sister don't be silly. But I have come to collect you." I quirked my brow, "Collect?" she nodded and took me by the arm. _"Sweet Mara, she cant just ask me to follow her?!" _The way the assassins regarded personal space had really begun to irk me.

I don't go groping people, besides that one time with that Jemane fellow.

But that was different, I couldn't walk. And I think I told him I was _"Shloory," _for doing it to.

"Yes sister, Speaker Lachance is here now. He wishes to see you." She began to pull me out of the door and into the living quarters, "He sent _me_ to get you," she was smiling widely as she said this, but I couldn't help but to flinch at it.

I know Lucien is supposed to be some type of big cheese here but wow, I didn't know he was that special.

xxxx

"He's waiting in there." Antoinetta said while pointing to the Sanctuaries study. I nodded and walked to the door, all the while I could feel Antoinetta's eyes on my back. I turned to face her, she was watching me expectantly.

"Go on now," she said waving me to the door, "best not to keep him waiting." I gave her a nervous smile and walked toward the door, I was now so close to it that my chest almost bumped against it's frame. I was staling, but trying not to be obvious about it.

Now even though I found the Speaker to be a…very interesting individual, I couldn't help but to be afraid of him. Hell, I'm no chicken but that doesn't mean I don't get scared. Something about our last conversation though, it brought about a new fear for him.

I was about to knock on the door when it opened for me. I jumped back and almost fell, luckily a giggling Antoinetta had caught me. I sighed with relief and looked up to see Lucien Lachance staring down at us both, his brow quirked slightly.

"Now I thought I heard voices out here." his eyes flashed from Antoinetta to me, "Trouble walking? Perhaps to much travel?" I shook my head.

I didn't know what to say, luckily though Antoinetta spoke for me, "She was just about to open the door Speaker. I'm afraid you gave us both a start." he nodded his eyes never leaving mine, that feeling of being closely studied came right back to me.

I honestly didn't miss it.

"Apparently. Now miss Vlando, I have been meaning to speak with you." he stepped back from the doorway and motioned me to enter. I reluctantly pried myself away from Antoinetta and walked past Lucien and into the room.

Remember how I said he was my new boogeyman? Well it's not a pleasant thing to be alone with one's living nightmare I can tell you. But I was not going to act cowardly, so I forced myself to relax and enter the dark and oddly quiet room.

Time to once again converse with the psycho.

For a study, this room was small and dark. It held two desks; one off in the corner of the room, the other in the middle. The corner desk seemed to be littered with alchemy equipment. Above it were dark oak and glass cabinets. All holding various bottles with odd ingredients in them, there labels to small for me to identify in the dark.

He led me to a chair opposite the center desk. I flopped down into it and pressed myself as far back as possible into it's quilted lining.

Hmm, at least it's comfortable.

Lucien took the chair behind the desk. I felt like I was in some sort of deranged interview. The candles perched upon it's surface set out a warm glow. But it did little to calm me, for as soon as he sat down I swear they started to flicker evilly.

Thus, I prefer light charms.

"Well sister, I do hope your first day here was agreeable." he started, staring at me through his dark hood. I began to wonder if he ever washed the damn thing. I nodded numbly, I could have been deaf and had know idea what he was saying, and I still would have nodded.

Taking Antoinetta's advice. Don't keep him waiting.

"Good, but I cant help but to wonder," he began softly, "why you thought it was a good idea to enter the Sanctuary in such a state." His brows knotted together as he watched me. At first I didn't know what he was talking about, but then I remembered all the bumbling around I did yesterday.

Oh…oops.

I first suspected Vicente, now he didn't seem the tattletale type, but one never knows. I folded my hands in my lap and looked down at my feet. I felt well, childish. I was in trouble again and he found out. I began to wonder how he always knew these things, but then I remembered what he told me the last time we met.

"_A Speaker has his ways." _

"Any particular reason you completely intoxicated yourself?" I shook my head. Out of my peripheral vision though, I could see him watching me. "Really no reason at all?" I looked up, there was a smile tugging on the corners of his lips. It was obvious why I drank myself into Oblivion, it was because I was nervous and scared, he knew that. But _he_, being a _sadist_, wanted me to tell him that.

I find that disturbing, and I began to glare at him.

I mentally slapped myself just then for doing so and quickly looked away. Praying to whoever it was who listened to me complain that he didn't see it. I remembered how he looked that night when I snapped at him, cold and cruel. To be blunt scary.

But I'm not supposed to be blunt, go figure.

He then leaned over the desk and held his hand out to me. I gave him a quizzical glance, _"What's he want my soul?"_ but it became apparent that that wasn't what he wanted, "Your hand sister," his smile began to grow into a grin. "I want to see it."

In my mind I was calling him every foul curse that was known to man, and several daedra. Reluctantly I placed my hand in his palm face down, I was silently hoping that he was about to show me his super, secret, evil handshake instead of inspecting my palm.

But sadly, no.

He flipped my hand over and brought it to the candle light, lurching me forward so I was out of my chair. _"So much for caring bunch." _he stared at it for a moment and then looked up at me, "By the look of your hands, I would say the nerves made you drink miss Vlando."

It took a lot of willpower for me not to glare. So, I improvised, I pulled my hand away, albeit gently, and flopped back down into the chair. Biting my tongue to keep from yelling those favorite curses of the Mad God. "Today you are going to put a stop to both of those habits."

The drinking I could easily stop, but the fists thing, not so much. "How can I stop it if I don't know when I'm doing it?" I grumbled, keeping my voice low so hopefully he couldn't make out the venom in it. He chuckled and watched me through the shadows of his hood.

"Sister, Vicente told me you were going to need a lot of work. You may be smart but you are mouthy, and although your cunning you are weak." his gaze never left my face but I was pouting. I am not weak, let it be known, but I do have weaknesses.

Doesn't every human and mer?

"A paradox if I ever saw one. I shall be keeping a close eye on you my dear. For you have…potential." he tapped his chin as he looked off to the side, nodding with agreement to himself. "I believe that with proper guidance you shall be very useful to the brotherhood one day."

I watched him carefully, he sighed and leaned back in his chair and I tensed. The last time he did that he threatened to cut my tongue out. I began to wonder what it was this time he was going to contemplate ripping off. But instead he just watched me, he always seemed to be watching.

The candles flickered across his face, it was set in a blank expression. Not scowl nor smirk, just blank. "Well, I would think you would have questions for me by now sister. I would like to answer them." judging by his vacant expression, I doubted that. But hell, he asked for it.

"Who is the Night Mother?" he began to drum his fingers on the desk, "The Night Mother is the Dark Brotherhoods unholy matron." I sighed. I knew that, I looked up at him expectantly. I think he noticed this as he continued.

"She is the bride of Sithis." he stopped. I began to wonder if that was all. "You should be asking about Sithis my dear if you truly wish to know of our lady." I quirked my brow. Sithis was supposed to be some God right? What did he have to do with this Night Mother?

"Oh, alright then…Who is Sithis?" Lucien then smiled at me, "In order to explain this, you need to imagine something, miss Vlando." he began as he sat forward in his chair. I nodded, that same slightly mechanical nod. "Close your eyes sister."


	9. Questions and Answers

Authors Notes: A quick thanks to all my readers, this story has a lot of follow through hits so far, I'm surprised XD. My next chapter will be up as soon as possible, enjoy!

Envy

Chapter eight: Questions and Answers

"_Close my eyes?" _I believe you can imagine my reaction to that. I gave him the; 'no way on Nirn' look, and leaned back in my chair. _"I'd rather not."_ But apparently he didn't notice my change in posture or quizzical glance.

"Well?" he began. His usual smirk slowly snaking it's way across his face. "I'm waiting miss Vlando." Raising my brow, I pursed my lips, "As am I Speaker." I made sure to keep the bite from my words this time, which was difficult, but I did manage it.

"My dear, you are awfully stubborn." Lucien said as he intertwined his fingers and placed them on the desk. "But if you do not trust me enough to _simply_ close your eyes in my presence," he then flashed me a wolfish smile. And when I say _wolfish_, I truly mean it.

It was a scary thing, he is quite a creepy fellow.

"I shall not force you." Lucien looked over to the side for a moment as if in deep contemplation. "How does one describe our Dread Father..." his eyes quickly flicked back to me, If I was not waiting for them to do so, I may have jumped.

"Picture a silent cloudless midnight sister, colder than winter ice." I scrunched my face and looked down to my lap. I have never had that big of an imagination, but so far I could see what he was describing in my mind. "Shrouded in shadows, and blacker than that of any ebony."

He lost me at shrouded.

I ended up closing my eyes with my brow furrowed. I could picture it better this way, the image he was making in my mind became a bit more vivid. He waited a moment allowing me to soak in those spoken details. "Now, how would you describe Sithis sister, using the small description I gave you?"

I bit my lip, my eyes still closed. "Cold and dark." I began slowly. Scrunching my brow further, "Dangerous, evil but…tranquil." Swallowing hard I willed myself to look up at him sheepishly. At first I was afraid that I could have summed up Sithis wrong and was to be scorned or smitten, anything along that line. I was not expecting to look up to see his sardonic grin.

You think after being alone so many times with this man I would have guessed that he would be wearing one of those demonic smirks of his.

"Exactly. That my dear, is Sithis." his smile grew, I didn't know whether or not it was because he was happy with how I described his god, or because he had gotten me to unknowingly close my eyes. Based on my assumption of him it was a bit of both, but mostly the second reason.

"_Sadist…"_

xxxx

I twiddled my thumbs, Sithis was a lot of adjectives. Maybe the Dark Brotherhood secretly worships him for that reason alone. I wouldn't put it past any of them. But the way Lucien had described him for me made me even more curious. I wanted to know the origin of Sithis, how he came to be and things of that like, but for now I could live with what I knew.

Sithis was a demonic adjective _and _a snowball, of darkness…

Personally, I think the Black Door is scarier.

"But how could the Night Mother be the bride of Sithis?" I asked looking back up at him. I didn't understand the mechanics of a woman loving a evil black snowball. I'm not ashamed to admit that I was confused as well as intrigued. "How?" Lucien asked while eloquently quirking his brow. "My dear, Sithis's love for our lady knows no bounds. There is no 'how', she just simply is." he continued casually,

"Sithis and the Night Mother share an unholy bond. Long ago, he came to her one night and together they created the Dark Brotherhood." I blinked, now I was really confused. All I could imagine was a dark snowball hovering over an anonyms murderers bedside preparing to recruit them, like Lucien had done to me. It didn't exactly fit the evil mysteriousness of the Dark Brotherhood.

So, like a confused five year old, I looked up at him mouth slightly agape, "Huh?"

It was Lucien's turn to blink, "What do you not understand miss Vlando?" he tilted his head to the side and watched me cautiously scoot more to the edge of my seat. "Well that's how they did it? Simply going around recruiting murderers in the dead of night? I thought that's what the Speakers did."

I watched as Lucien's face began to contort slightly, a smile forming on his lips. It looked like he was attempting to hold back a laugh. "Sister I'm afraid your confused." I pursed my lips and nodded. _"What was your first clue?" _

"Sithis came to the Night Mother and _begat_ her five sons, my dear." I still didn't get it, I didn't know what he meant by 'begat' either. I completely blocked out the obvious, I was still thinking of Sithis as a snowball. So I had know idea what he was talking about really when he said, begat. "How?" I asked inclining my head to the side.

The Speaker looked at me nonchalantly, but I could tell he was holding back the urge to stare at me as though I had ten million heads. "You do know the, _mechanics_ of baby making correct?"

Now, have you ever felt so shocked by something that the sudden knowledge of it hit you like a chapel falling from the sky? Have you ever felt so embarrassed that you could have sworn your face was aflame? Have those things ever happened to you simultaneously?

"OH!" I said going wide eyed. My face must have been beat red. I slunk back in my chair, hoping to sink into the quilted padding and never emerge again. The idea of the man in front of me going over the _mechanics_ of baby making made me want to; laugh, go green, and run very far away all at the same time.

Awkward…

And that smile on his face made this an all the more mentally scarring experience.

"Do you understand now sister?" he asked, I watched his brow arch out of the corner of my eye. "Yep…" I said while nodding slowly. Call me immature, but though this was all a very horrifying moment and was almost certainly going to plague me with nightmares, I couldn't help but find it somewhat comical.

He probably felt as weird as I did thinking he was going to have to go over the; 'birds and the bees' with his newest assassin.

Then again, he _is_ a psychotic, sadist. At least he keeps me on my toes. I shall never know what _fun_ moments or interesting conversations the Speaker and I are going to have when we meet.

"Well then, their five sons were the first children of the Dark Brotherhood." he continued calmly, "Under the loving eyes of the Night Mother and commands of Sithis they flourished. Murdering, for Sithis demands blood and souls, and it is our job as his children to give him what he, desires."

He stopped and once again relaxed in his chair. His face fixed with that same blank expression he gave me when he was awaiting my first question. Which was good because I was ready to start asking him a lot more things again. But all joking and odd predicaments aside, the comments about blood brings about another serious question.

"Speaker," I started rather lamely, "has there, ever been. A…" I found my voice trailing off, quickly I cleared my throat and looked up. He was watching me expectantly, not interrupting or pressuring me to continue.

Patient, I was appreciative.

"Has there every been a, _squeamish_ assassin before?" I waited for him to laugh or glare, to do something that would make me feel stupid. But he did neither, "Yes, but there has not been many." I felt a sudden wave of relief, _"Thank, thank, err Sithis! I suppose."_

"I presume your asking me this because you are one of the few who gets ill from blood, correct?" I nodded, albeit timidly though. His voice wasn't harsh, but I did feel as though he just became a bit troubled. He slouched his shoulders slightly and sighed.

"Well sister that is yet another thing we are to break you of. Though I daresay it is not as simple as putting down a mug of ale or clenching your fists." I bit my bottom lip, I honestly didn't think it was possible for one to stop being squeamish.

And by his tone of voice it was not an easy thing to snap one out of.

"It will take time, and lots of ice," I furrowed my brow _"Ice?" _he stood from the desk but began to rummage through one of its drawers. "But it can be done. For now I wouldn't worry about it, you'll not be sent on contracts for sometime."

Lucien pulled out a roll of measuring tape and stood before me. "Stand up sister," he said as he began to unwind the roll. I did so and stepped away from the chair. "I'll be needing to take your measurements now." he stated simply as he made his way over to me.

Upon hearing the word 'measurements' I through my hands up almost defensively. "What? How come now?" he looked at me skeptically and wrinkled his brow, "Sister you will be needing your shrouded armor soon." he took another step forward, "And I am on a rather tight deadline and don't have time to travel back and forth to the Imperial City to-"

"Why are _you_ the one doing it? Isn't Ocheeva the mistress of the Sanctuary?" I know it wasn't a very smart move to interrupt a Speaker, especially when said Speaker is Lucien Lachance, but I desperately wanted to get my point across. I honestly don't want him that close to me, measuring tape or not.

"Sadly our sister is an Argonian and has a habit of charting the wrong sizes." I bit my bottom lip, "What about Vicente?" I asked hopefully. And yes, I trust the vampire much more than the Speaker when I hardly know him. Perhaps it's Vicente's accent, I have always been quite taken by the language of the Breton's and he has such pretty red eyes…

Ehem, I digress moving…on.

xxxx

"Vicente is sleeping and it would be unwise to wake a sleeping vampire, brother or not. He does tend to get a bit cranky." Lucien made a move to come closer to me and I flinched. He pursed his lips and let out an exasperated sigh. "Sister you have my word that I shall not be strangling you with this." he said while gesturing to the tape.

"_Yeah with that, you still have your hands though." _as if reading my mind he quickly added, "Or do any bodily harm to you whatsoever." he smiled at me, perhaps it was meant to be reassuring, but it seemed rather wolfish again, and made me want to crawl away from him and hide in a very dark corner.

I sighed though and gave in. I might as well learn to trust Lucien, why not test him? Measuring tape could be used as a lethal weapon. Strangling does tend to give you a rush…

I was so lost in my musings over the art of strangulation that I had barley noticed him coming around behind me and wrap the tape around my chest, waist, and hips. He was crouching down in front of me recording my height when it hit me.

"That's it!" I shouted joyfully, Lucien did not understand my sudden stroke of genius and was rather annoyed that I had startled him so. Dropping the measuring tape he swore under his breath and began glowering at me, "By Sithis! What is it now?"

Usually I would have been unnerved by him snapping at me so, but once I get an idea in my head I am blind by all emotions, except for joy of course. "Asphyxiation again! Of course it's so simple, Speaker, could I strangle my targets?!"

I was unable to mask the sudden excitement in my voice. I know it may sound sick but choking people seemed to give me the ultimate high. Skooma didn't even come close to the euphoric state it put me in. "Unless there is a specific way the contract needs to be carried out. Why do you-?"

He stopped and slowly began to smile, finally understanding my sudden glee. "Clever little blood fearer." he chuckled, "Wanting to get into the habit of turning all of your targets purple?" I nodded my grin slipping from my face slightly, I was becoming a bit embarrassed by my uncontrolled excitement.

"Well I suppose for the time being it will be fine. I still intend to break you though, I cannot have my newest assassin afraid of the dread fathers favorite drink." he scratched his chin and looked off to the side, "This is good though, perhaps I can find something…" he paused "Useful."

He was staring of into space, grinning broadly. I had to wonder just who was more excited by the idea of me killing. Maybe the 'family' man is just so overcome with emotion knowing that his newest cut throat is growing up so fast.

I could not repress my snicker as I remembered those many images of him and the sea of children that kept me entertained while hiking along the Green Road. My small dark laugh broke him from his musings and made him look toward me.

"I suppose that is all for now sister, I must be going soon." he picked the measuring tape up off of the floor and began to roll it up. "I do have something for you though miss Vlando. A bit of homework if you will." Lucien walked back over to the desk and replaced the measuring tape with a small black leather-bound book.

"This," he began, "is the guidelines for every dark brother or sister. In my absence you are to memorize it word for word. Learn the Tenants and rituals we all use and abide by." he placed the cold book in my hands and I held it tightly. Eagerly awaiting to crack it open, I have always been a bit of a know-it-all, so when it comes to learning knew things I'm always anxious.

"I shall be back around this time next week and I do expect you to be able to recite it for me once I return." I nodded, that was no problem, a week was plenty of time for me. The book was small after all. "Your training with Vicente will also begin soon. I have instructed him to only teach you the basics of defending yourself, you wont be learning any type of offence for some time."

I slowly felt a faint blush rise in my cheeks. Regardless of whether or not he's a vampire, he _is_ a Breton and has such a beautiful accent. I bit my lip and nodded to Lucien though I was barley aware that he was still in the room with me. I could feel his gaze but my thoughts were, elsewhere.

xxxx

"Miss Vlando?" I heard Lucien call to me. I looked up at him slowly, still clutching the book rather tightly. "Yes Speaker?" he sighed and crossed his arms, "Did you not hear what I just said sister?" I bit my lip _"Nope." _I honestly wasn't listening, I was thinking about many things. Things I was to do, and people I am to train with.

You know the basic assassin thoughts. I think…

I glanced up at Lucien who was giving me that lecturing look. Or perhaps it was more of the 'don't dare ignore me girl I'm far to important!' look? Either way, it made me look down at the floor and I began to prod the stone with the heel of my shoe. "I'll take that as a no. Learn to listen sister, all that I have to say is important."

So it was the second look.

"I asked if you have any other fears besides blood dear girl. Undead perhaps?" I wrinkled my brow and shook my head, _"No, but why would he be asking me that?" _I rubbed the back of my neck as I began to think. Did I really have any other fears than blood.

Well, there is him, and that evil door of course. But I don't think I need to tell him that.

"No Speaker, I do not. But why do you ask?" Lucien smiled and placed a gloved hand on my shoulder, "What do you think of skeletons miss Vlando?"

xxxx

His name is Robert, I have no clue why they would name a skeleton guardian Robert but they did. Apparently Lucien had just brought him back from…Wherever Lucien lives. Antoinetta had accidentally killed him, or made him stop bumbling around, I don't think you can really kill something that was already dead.

Supposedly, it was an accident. I guess he bumbled into the woman's room once she was changing and she kind of smashed him thinking it was someone else. Don't know why, it's dead and it's not like it has eyes…Why would Lucien want a blind, peeping pervert, dead guardian anyway? And why name it Robert?!

The name Robert means bright and shining, not dead and peeping.

I'll never understand these assassins, but anyway Lucien wanted me to meet him. Robert needs to be introduced to new family members by people he already knows or he'll try to chop your head off. I'll have to thank Lucien again for that later, I do like my head attached.

Unlike Robert, he was making quite a show of taking his head off. "I think he likes you." Lucien said as we both watched him with our brows quirked slightly. "Oh," I took a step back. _"Sorry Rob, it would never work out."_ Lucien chuckled as I backed closer to him.

"I thought you weren't afraid of undead sister," I swallowed hard, "I'm not. I'm just not fond of the idea of having my own undead stalker." Lucien sighed and looked back toward the skeleton. "Robert," he stared, his voice flat but commanding, "Go see Antoinetta, I believe she will be expecting an apology."

The guardian had been shaking before, but now it looked as though it was vibrating, it's outline a mere blur. He put own his axe slowly and began to wring his bony hands, looking up at Lucien almost pleadingly. I think its safe to say that he was not looking forward to seeing Antoinetta again. Lucien raised his brow, "No, now." he said slowly.

I watched them both slightly confused as Robert began to creak and hold up fingers, rapidly making hand signals. He was quite agile for an undead. But no matter what sign he made Lucien shook his head at it. Finally the bag of bones gave in and slumped away timidly toward the living quarters.

"You will learn how to converse with him soon enough." Lucien said and turned to go to the Black Door. "Why did you name him Robert, um Speaker?" I still feel the need to be formal with him, but constantly calling him Speaker is an annoying task, though one may not think so.

"It means a shinning. When he was first permanently conjured he was a rather clean corps and the torches shinned on him." Lucien shrugged, "Vicente thought it was a good idea at the time." It just then struck me that Lucien's name also meant light, and illumination. But I found it ironic that the black robed man in front of me who's face was constantly hidden in shadow had a name that meant light.

Strangely ironic, but interesting.

"Farewell sister, I shall be seeing you again soon." He turned to the door and did not have to even touch it. It quickly swung open for him. _"creepy very creepy." _I decided to go to the living quarters to see if Robert was still in one piece or not.

The time I pent with the Speaker was not as scary as the others. Perhaps it was a bit more mentally scarring and awkward, but not frighteningly so. But don't get me wrong, one okay visit did not take him off of my list of things to fear.

I guess I just feel a bit more comfortable with the psycho, I have been spending an awful lot of time with him and am just getting used to his sadistic ways.

Maybe it's a good thing.


	10. New Toys

Authors Notes: Yeah! Here is to over 1,000 hits! I was just checking my stats and reader traffic before I posted this and I almost fell out of my chair. XD They all follow up very closely to, so thank you to all my anonymous and reviewing readers! Its always nice to know people enjoy reading this as much as I do writing it. I feel so loved, but that's enough mushy stuff, lol here's the next chapter.

Envy

Chapter nine: New Toys

My days within the Sanctuary flew by quite peacefully. I had become rather good friends with Antoinetta, we ended up discussing our dislike for Robert, and upon doing so many other things as well. I felt a bit connected to her and the Bosmer; Tel, as Antoinetta calls her. Maybe it's just because I am supposed to refer to them as sister that I have actually started to think of them as one.

Either way I have begun to enjoy my time with the two of them. I had never had sisters before, especially not ones with a giant pet rat, which they had named Schemer. I met him one day while I was reading the book of Tenets Lucien had given me.

I was sitting in the Library, minding my own business like a good little murderer, when a giant brown fluff ball jumped into my lap. Out of confusion, I slapped it off with the book.

"Fetching Vermin!" I shouted toward the now scurrying away rat. Teinaava, who had also been in the library with me at the time looked up. "I beg your pardon?" he asked crossing his arms with his scaly brows furrowed.

"Not you, a rat! A big one did you see it?" I was now out of my chair and looking around the bookshelves armed with my tome. "You found Schemer?" Teinaava asked as he got up to. "Schemer? Who in Oblivion is that? I was talking about a damn rat!"

"Schemer_ is_ a rat. Antoinetta had found him, we keep him as a pet. Though he has a habit of disappearing for days at a time." He strode over to me and helped me look around the bookshelves. "Ah!" Teinaava exclaimed, "There he is. Look, he's shaking. Nerah you scared him half to death."

"I scared it? He jumped on me!" and to my utter shock and repulsion, I watched as Teinaava bent down and picked up the quivering mass. "Brother they carry disease." I was trying to force the point for him to put it down when he turned with Schemer in his arms facing me.

The dark brown fur was ruffled slightly where my book had made contact, and his to little black beady eyes were staring up at me pleadingly. I watched as his tiny pink nose twitch as he sniffed the air in my direction. Now, I have never been all sappy when it comes to cute and cuddly things, but Schemer is neither cute nor cuddly.

No, he is more dark and twitchy. But, in a way dare I say…nice to hold?

Teinaava pushed him in my arms and I was taken. I always wanted a pet, but I like dogs, big mean ones. I guess a rat is just as good. "See, he likes you. Even though you just committed animal cruelty toward him." Quickly I flopped back down in the chair with my book in one arm and an oversized rat in the other.

"He forgives me and that's good enough." I muttered as I gently stroked Schemer's ears and brought the book back up to my nose. Teinaava nodded and bid me farewell, I guess he was just stopping in quickly and had to go off on an assignment.

I continued to read, I don't really enjoy reading but as I have said before, I am a know-it-all and when one claims to know everything I think its only proper to have some prior knowledge. The book had many rituals and prayers that one should use when they think they are in need of guidance on contracts. And for a guild of cutthroats, the book wasn't very graphic or gruesome.

Manly, besides the prayers and rituals there was rules and Lucien's 'Tenets' all of which stated that if you broke anyone of them you would invoke the; _Wrath of Sithis_. _"Whatever that is." _I shrugged of my puzzlement though and continued to scan the book. I would just have to ask the family man that in a few days.

xxxx

It was sometime further in the week when Vicente had pulled me aside and told me that we would be training later on that day. I was nervous and excited at the same time. Lucien had told me that we would only be doing defensive moves but still it made me feel all giddy. I was starting to miss physical activity.

I met Vicente in the empty training room. He was smiling broadly at me, the big smile he has that shows his fangs. The fact of him being a vampire really never bothered me, well to an extent anyway. The little fear I had died within my first five minutes of meeting him.

He told me I smelt bad remember?

"There you are sister. I do hope you are ready to start learning your stances and some block techniques." I smiled, anything to get my ass out of a chair was good enough for me. I walked over to him and nodded, "Yes brother I am. But what kind of stances do assassins use? Don't we just pounce and slice people up?"

Vicente quirked his brow at my rather ludicrous way of describing his death art, but shook his head and place a hand on my shoulder. "Sister, you need to understand that we are indeed assassins. And so, must be nimble and quick. We cannot simply; _pounce and slice people up_, as you put it."

I felt myself blush, and looked back up at him sheepishly. "And judging by your condition," Vicente continued, "You will not be doing any slicing up for quiet sometime." I let out a small sigh, _"Yeah me and slicing people don't mix well." _

"Alright then. What do we do first?" I asked straightening slightly. Vicente led me over to a crimson sparring mat and told me to stand in it's center. Which I did, obviously. With an accent like that I might have done cartwheels around the place if he asked me to.

"First," he began as he circled me, "straighten up a bit. You slouch far to much for your age." I scoffed, but arched my back more. "I've been stuck in a chair's for almost a week now, I think I'm inclined to have a slight hunch."

He ignored me completely and continued to speak, "You must learn to be both flexible and sharp. Assassination is an art so you must be graceful. We will be needing to teach you more upper body offence than anything, if you are to strangle your targets you will need to be able to hold them down."

I laughed, "True, cant have my clients slipping from my fingers." Vicente smiled and stopped in front of me. "Exactly right." He then quickly placed a hand over my collar bones and with a harsh shove pushed me to the ground. I landed right on my tailbone with a small 'oof!', and glared up at him.

"Wha- What was that for?!" I snapped angrily and refused the hand he offered me to stand with. "We are training are we not?" he asked flashing me a sardonic smile that may have gave Lucien's a run for his money. "Yes but couldn't you have given me some sort of warning first?"

Sighing, Vicente shook his head. "Sister Nerah would someone who was trying to harm you warn you before they attack?"

"No." I said flatly while crossing my arms childishly. "Good then, you see it my way." and once again, I was unceremoniously shoved to the ground.

And so, the fun of training began. Go me.

xxxx

It was from what I could tell a rainy day when Lucien arrived back again. It was rather amusing to see him come in the Sanctuary grumbling and dripping wet. But I kept my laughter to myself and stayed hidden in the shadows, which I had been instructed to do so. According to Vicente I'm not very stealthy either and he wants me to practice by scaring everyone in the Sanctuary.

I think I'm already getting a bit better, or maybe I'm just naturally creepy.

Lucien stormed off to what I know was his quarters and stayed in there for a good long time. Once he emerged he was no longer soaking wet but was still clad in black robes. I have to wonder if he was spelling them dry the entire time or keeps a change of them here.

I thought I was invisible to him in the shadow until he looked toward me with his brow slightly arched. "Sister, what are you doing?" I sighed and stepped out of the shadows. "Just following orders Speaker." his brow rose further into his hood, "Orders, from whom?"

Opening my mouth to answer him I stopped in mid breath, for he quickly shook his head. "Vicente's teaching you stealth to already?" nodding slowly my eyes fell upon the dark bundle he held in his hands. "Yes sir, he says he wants me to be ready for my first mission by the end of the month."

Lucien smiled, "Month, miss Vlando?" he then handed me the dark pile and continued, "I think week will suffice. You are showing promise after all, I wouldn't have seen you in the corner but your eyes gave you away." I gulped as I looked down at my armful of things and back up to Lucien.

"Week? This week's end?" I asked in disbelieve. I honestly didn't think I was ready for a contract, I had just started training after all. "Yes, and come to think of it I have a rather interesting assignment that may prove to be just what you need."

"But-" I interjected weakly, Lucien quickly silenced me though by raising his hand. "Go see Antoinetta sister, have her help you suit up. Then come and see me, I shall be in Vicente's quarters." I still wanted to refuse but I ended up giving in with a sigh and turned on my heel and went to the living quarters.

xxxx

"There you are Nerah, all set." Antoinetta said as she gave the belt around my hips one final forceful jerk. "Just look at you, all ready to go out and reap for Sithis." she gave a small happy sigh and clapped her hands together. "Tel would just die if she knew you were going out on a mission this weekend! She should be back soon from her own assignment though."

I turned and looked toward the mirror. "Wow…" I said slowly as I stared at my reflection. What little curves I had were accentuated by my new shrouded leathers. I looked like the busty long legged tavern wench I once robbed back in Chorrol. My short black hair just brushed against my shoulders and with all the black my dark blue eyes seemed to pop.

"Oh wow!" I said again with a laugh as I turned away. Antoinetta giggled at my astounded expression. "The first time I had on my suit I swear I just stared at the mirror for a good hour!" I couldn't resist the urge to stare at myself again.

I'll admit I'm a very vain person.

"Will you get!" Antoinetta said as she gave me a playful shove from the mirror. "Lucien and Vicente are waiting for you, remember?" I quickly perked up, and then just as quickly went stony faced like a mad woman.

Antoinetta's mood swinging ways are starting to rub off on me I'm afraid.

"_Oops, I forgot." _she smiled and open or bedroom door for me, "Better hurry up or he'll come down here and get you." she laughed as I quickly scurried out of the room, "He's done that before you know!" I heard her call out to me as I quickened my pace and sped through the Sanctuary. It was not only rude to miss a meeting with the Speaker and Executioner of the Sanctuary, it was also life threatening in my opinion.

In a matter of seconds I stood outside of Vicente's door panting.

Did I mention I ran like a mad woman also?

I was about to just push the door open when I quickly decided that it would be wise to knock. My knock was more like giving the door a quick jabbing punch, and I quickly pushed it open without waiting for a response. "Ah, you see Lucien I told you. My senses are still sharp."

I stepped into the room and looked at the two of them. They were both sitting and drinking, while holding polite conversation.

The Dark Brotherhood _is_ a scary place.

"Sit sister, we have much to discuss." Vicente said as he gestured to the chair that I had become familiar to. I took a seat and looked to the table which had a rather large and fairly crumpled piece of parchment on it. The name; Gaston Tussaud, was clearly written in red ink.

I unknowingly mouthed the name written on the parchment and in doing so, heard Vicente chuckle. "Yes, he is a Breton, a pirate captain, and your first target." I looked up at the two of them again, this time with my mouth agape.

"_Pirate_ captain?" I asked in disbelief. "I'll surely be slaughtered!" Lucien smirk caught my attention though and I found myself glaring at them. How could they possibly expect me to kill a Pirate? I have only been in the Sanctuary for what a little over a week?

"Miss Vlando it isn't polite to jump to conclusions. Why don't you just listen to what we have for you? I'm sure it will suite your tastes." Lucien stated rather lowly as he took another sip of whatever was in his goblet.

"Speaker, whether or not I like the _prospect_ of death," I mocked, "I highly doubt I can do it. I'm well aware of my limitations and pirates are not within them" I folded my hands in my lap and watched them both intently. They stared at me for a moment, their expressions blank until Vicente smiled and looked toward Lucien.

"I can see why you wanted her with us so badly Lucien." Vicente chuckled, "Look at the way she's observing us! She's the spitting image of-"

"Miss Vlando you know not your limitations until you have been pushed past them and break." Lucien said abruptly interrupting the still grinning Vicente. "Unless you wish me to test them for you, I suggest you take my advice; bite your tongue and listen closely."

Lucien always seems to have a way to make me understand things. The, not so nice way. But at least he gets whatever point the is trying to make through. Because of course after that statement,

I sat there quietly like a little lamb. A little lamb who was once again cursing him out in thought.

"Gaston Tussaud may be a pirate and a captain at that, but if the proper measures are taken he is in no way a threatening target. Tell me sister, what do you know of pirates? How do they spend their time when not sailing?"

I was about to answer but remembered he told me to keep my mouth shut. I bit the inside of my cheek to keep from speaking but me being a know it all had to share my knowledge.

"Sing, drink, eat, fight,-" My list went on. Funny how I can never really speak my mind once afraid but ask me a question that I know the answer to and by Gods I'll have your ears bleeding.

Lucien eventually held up a hand to stop me. But he looked rather amused so I didn't think he was going to do any physical harm to me as of yet. Now, psychological harm? That's a whole other ball game.

"Good. So you see even though the ship will be docked and his crew in the surrounding area, the will all be…busy." Though this information was made to comfort me, it made me all the more nervous. I had not even thought about his crew before.

"_Damn, I'm in big trouble."_

My hands subconsciously balled into fists, studded gauntlets were making my palms hurt tenfold but my rattled brain had not even registered the sudden discomfort.

"They have docked in the Market District of the Imperial city to load cargo." Vicente began, "You could slip into one of the packing crates or use the sterns balcony. Teinaava had been kind enough to gather some information on the ship for us earlier this week. The balcony could be quiet useful."

I shifted uneasily as I watched Lucien out of my peripheral vision roll his eyes and reach into his robe. He pulled out a roll of parchment or a scroll of sorts. Then he raised it and quite quickly brought it down over my hands, giving my knuckles a good smack with it.

"Stop it." he stated flatly. The hit over my hands didn't hurt, but it made me jump up in my chair and bring my hands up defensively. Vicente quickly began to sip his wine, but I could still hear him snicker. "That miss Vlando is called the; shock method. One of my many techniques to stop you from damaging yourself" Lucien said as he gestured to my now splayed hands, while placing the scroll on the table.

I shot him a; 'what in the name of all that is _sane_ did you do that for?' look and crossed my arms. He ignored it though and continued to smile. "But back to business, you will be needing that." Lucien said as he pointed to the rolled up, and now slightly dented, scroll.

I wrinkled my nose at it and quirked my brow. "What is it?" he carefully unrolled it and handed it to me. "A enchantment that will drain the captains energy, it will fatigue him so much that he will not be capable of putting up a good fight." Vicente said as I looked over the paper.

"Indeed it will be very useful to you. But do not expect to be nursed on every mission my dear, this is your first time fulfilling a contract so I thought it proper to help slightly. The only reason we have pulled you aside in this is because of your age. Otherwise we would have gave you orders and sent you on your way."

Lucien finished by standing and left the room. I arched my brow and looked toward Vicente. "What is he doing now? He's not going to try the shock thing again is he?" I asked nervously though while smiling. Vicente chortled and shook his head.

"No sister I believe he is fetching your unique paintbrush." I blinked. _"Paint brush? I can barley draw a stick figure."_ Vicente sighed, "It's a figure of speech sister. I said assassination was an art remember? He is retrieving your murder weapon."

"Oh." I said just as Lucien walked into the room holding what I thought was a snake at first. Looking at it closely though I could see that it was a, "leather cord?" Lucien handed it to me and smiled. "Precisely." I held it in my hands for a moment and noticed how tight it's grip was when intertwined around my fingers.

"Genius!" I exclaimed quietly, "This will work perfectly!" I wound up the black leather strip and held it in my hands. "See brother, she is not as innocent as she looks." Lucien said turning to Vicente, but I had barley heard him, for now I was far to busy marveling at the coil wrapped around my arm.

All fear I had of incapability broke away. I could care less who I was killing or why, I wanted that thrill. I needed to…hurt something.

I think I should go to the chapel and have myself dowsed in hot restoration potions. I'm tuning out to be a sadist to!

At the time I could only think of wanting to tighten that cord around someone's nape. I wasn't thinking of morals or Aedra, I just wanted that rush. Grinning darkly, I looked up at the two of them and gripped my new toy tighter and brought it to my chest.

"So," I began, "When should I get started?"


	11. First Contract

Authors Notes: Wow thanks everyone for the reviews! They mean a lot -. I know I am a bit of a detail freak when it comes to writing, (a bad habit, but I am trying my best to let up on some little unimportant details and make the story more enjoyable ) but everything in this chapter is crucial. I don't want to put in a spoiler but the random Dunmer's or other OC's I keep adding in this tale will play an important part of the storyline. But before I bore you to tears with my rambling XD here is chapter ten. R and R welcomed and appreciated, as always.

Envy

Chapter ten: First Contract

It had been a short two day trip to the Imperial City thanks to Cagmy. We arrived late Sundas afternoon, and he seemed overjoyed to see me and stretch his legs. Have I mentioned how much I like Cagmy? Well just for good measure I'll say it again; I like Cagmy.

I left him in the Chestnut Handy stables outside the city's main gate. At first I was skeptical of the Ocish woman stable hand. According to Gogron, horse stew is an Orsinium delicacy. But Cagmy's a big horse and can hold his own I'm sure.

Since the trip was oddly peaceful I decided to get straight to work. I made my way quickly to the nearest Legion officer just outside of the gate. I needed directions seeing as I had only been to the Imperial City a few times before and I was so young at the time that I do not remember anything but the color; white.

"Good afternoon little lady, need to get in the gates I presume?" Now even if I'm an Imperial I hate the Legion. I think their all insanely stupid._ "Get in the city?! What gave you that idea? I was just hoping to stare at the damn walls all day."_

"Yes I do sir." I said smiling outwardly as well as inwardly over the guards incompetents. "But could you tell me how to get to the Waterfront as well? I'm to be meeting a cousin there." The guard wrinkled his nose as he peered down at me from his helm.

"Waterfront? Yeah I can give you the directions but I'm a bit hesitant to do so, it's an awful bad district for a young woman to roam." I fought back the urge to roll my eyes. _"Here we go again."_ I may never understand why everyone feels the need to baby me.

Even Lucien and Vicente are, I admit that I am grateful that they did seeing as it is my first mission but it's just the principal. I can handle myself, and one day I shall show all of the Dark Brotherhood that I am capable of more than just that.

"It's an older cousin sir, I'm sure I'll be just fine." I flashed him my biggest innocent smile and big blue-eyed stare that always seals the deal. Pathetic really, but if it works I cant complain. "Well then I suppose it is my duty to assist you but be sure to stay close to your relatives."

I nodded while still smiling and listened intently so I could memorized the way to my targets location. I wonder what this guard would do if he knew that he was providing me assistants in killing one of the civilians he was to protect.

There's a moral in that somewhere, perhaps if I _cared_ I would try to figure out what it was.

xxxx

I was wandering the Temple district taking in all the beauty of the city. I could see why so many people came here to make a living, this place was truly thriving. The gate to the Waterfront was within my sight and I was just about to head to it when I heard someone call out to me.

"Excuse me, miss." I heard a heavily accented voice say. I turned around to see who was talking to me when there stood a young handsome Dunmer and I found myself gawking. I am usually not attracted to Mer but he was something to behold. _"Wow…" _

He was walking for me, his silvery white hair was messy and tousled and I couldn't help but to smile at the dark pointing ears peaking out of his unruly mane. He was a very dark Dunmer, his skin was more of a deep grey than blue, and his eyes were as red as rubies and beaming.

"Ma'am may I ask you something?" he asked as he gripped his own rucksack and I found myself doing the same to mine. He looked like an adventurer; the tall, dark, good-looking kind. Once he stopped in front of me he ruffled his hair and caught his breath as if he had been running recently.

"You wouldn't happen to know where the Arena is would you?" he asked smiling. Now I had just come from there, but I had momentarily forgotten.

I believe you can see why.

"What, the Arena?" I asked dumbly, he simply nodded and was either pretending not to notice my stupefied look or was inwardly laughing hysterically at it. "Oh! Yes I know where it is, sorry I had err…forgotten. Busy day you know."

"…_Smooth." _

"Indeed the day has seemed rather hectic for us all, I've been wandering around aimlessly for hours now. You're the first person to stop for me." I quirked my brow. I found it very hard to believe that no one would stop for such an attractive Mer, but Nirn is a strange place.

"So your knew here then? As am I, but I get my directions from the _Legion_." I scoffed while crossing my arms. I couldn't help but to be annoyed with the guard, I had gotten lost once and asked for directions again and one soldier gave me the same; 'Waterfront's to dangerous for a young lady' lecture.

He laughed, and it was a very nice laugh. Unlike Lucien's it did not make me want to cower off in a corner. "I have tried asking the Legion and one had sent me around the entire plaza district twice. Perhaps it's pick on the travelers day?"

I wanted to comment or to keep the conversation going, he was quite charming but nevertheless a distraction. I know I have always been a bit of promiscuous girl, but don't get me wrong I have morals and values. You would think I would have learned my lesson though by now.

The last sick freak who tried something with me turned into charcoal, and I didn't even make any moves on him, he was my stepbrother for Sithis sake!

Sithis?…didn't expect that . The family must be getting to me.

But once I had thought of the family I remembered my contract and looked toward the sky. The sun was already setting and I had a plan to carry out. "Sorry sir," I said hurriedly, "but I must be going. The Arena is right through that gate, it's a giant dome, you cant miss it."

Quickly I turned on my heal and began to make a rather fast paced beeline to the slums gates. I heard the Dunmer stammer as if he was about to say something again. "Well thank you miss, perhaps we will see each other again sometime." I heard him call out to me.

I simply turned briefly to wave at him and hurried through the gates. _"Figures, the time I finally meet a good looking and articulate person I have to go off killing people!" _I sighed inwardly and made my way down the beaten forest path that led to the Waterfront's moor.

xxxx

The Waterfront smelt of low tide and perspiration, a rather revolting mix in my opinion. I certainly wasn't looking forward to spending a lot of time here, it was a good thing that I planned ahead before arriving otherwise I would be stuck here for another day or two.

I despise the ocean and everything in it. Salty fish, rotting boats, drunken pirates, cheap scary wenches. Why would anyone dream of a life out to see? They must be insane.

There was many people and beggars around, all eyeing me skeptically because I was a new face. But I could care less what they thought of me or my dark purposeful demeanor, I had a job to do and they were just innocent bystanders.

And if they know what's good for them they'll stay that way.

Walking along the docks I kept my head down and eyes up. I didn't want to be recognized by anyone, now I planned to make my murder 'clean' but for some reason I always rouse suspicion in people. Maybe it's my hair, I did have a good go at it with scissors and it tends to make me look mad.

My fault entirely, I have such a temper. What would mother think?

My mother, it had never really accrued to me what her opinion on my new found profession would be. I was about eight when she passed and cant remember much about her but her smile and curly blond hair. Though I have her eyes that's about it, I used to stay away from mirrors because of it. It made me think that she's watching me, and was ashamed.

But as I looked upon the large galleon and the eloquent carving; _Marie Elena_ into its stern, I had forgotten all about my mother and her supposed opinions and morals. She was gone, what was I supposed to do about it? Flexing my fingers I slunk into one of the many shadowed alleyways to wait for the sun to fully set, I would kill that's what I would do about it.

xxxx

Once the sun had vanished beneath Nirn I pulled off my clothes. _No_ I was not standing in a dark alley stark naked, I had my leathers on under my clothes.

Sheesh!

Anyway, I placed my linens in my rucksack and began to organize my equipment. I placed the scroll into one of my belt loops, and wrapped my leather cord around my shoulder. Pulling my hood up I crept to the alleyways mouth and peeked out, all was clear.

I hid my bag in the alley's shadows and did a quick check of everything. "Lock picks, scroll, blade, and rope. Good." I whispered to myself, keeping my hands from forming into fists. I only talk aloud when I'm nervous, sure I wanted that odd death high one got when committing murder, but there is the prospect of turning tables in every assassination.

Staying in shadows I raced from the alley and hid behind some wooden boxes, the ships cargo. I made my way over to the largest one that looked as if it had been broken into, it's lid was off and it was empty. I peered over the crates top and swore under my breath, the balcony _was _a far jump. "Is he insane?!" I hissed, Lucien had to be, I could never make that.

Groaning I ducked behind the crate once more and rested my arm on top of my knees. I wasn't going to even bother jumping, I would end up cracking my head on the railing and be found floating down lake Rumare, I could see the Black Horse Courier headlines now; 'Assassin that never was! Bumped her head and drowned!'.

Ugh, the humiliation…

Just then I heard voices coming my way, I would have froze but instinct made me quickly enter the large opened crate and take hold of the lid to cover myself. "Captain wants the cargo on board now?" a male Nordic voice asked. "It's so bloody late! Cant he wait till morning?"

Their footsteps were coming closer to me and I held the lid even tighter. "Don't bother whining, lets just get this over with and go over to the Float for some drinks. We'll be heading back to Leyawin again soon so we might as well live up the city while we can."

I heard the Nord man grumble in agreement and I soon heard them working. But out of nowhere I felt the ground beneath me shake and knew that I to had been picked up. "What's in these boxes anyway, tissues? The damn pillow shipment was heavier." The Nord grumbled.

I listened to the two men argue as they made there way in the ship. I had to bite my lip to keep from laughing, in a way this ordeal was terrifying and in another, so comical. They unceremoniously dropped the crates and I landed with a loud 'thud' onto the ships planks. I held onto the lid for dear life, afraid it would fly off at any moment.

Wouldn't that be an odd surprise…

Holding my breath, I waited until the two men's voices were carried away with them and only did I emerged from the box when I knew for a fact that they were gone. Carefully sliding the lid off I peeked over the crates rim. Sure enough they were gone. It was time for me to test me sneaking skills and to pay a certain pirate a visit.

xxxx

Creeping past a bunch of drunken pirates was easier than one would think. On several occasions they thought they had saw me and kept on dismissing my quick movements as the rats. I made my way to the captains cabin just after several of his crew members had left to go to the Bloated Float. That was a stroke of luck on my part, it could get noisy, you never know.

I reached into my pocket and made quick work of his lock, I carefully pushed his door open and looked inside. It was small but much fancier than the crews quarters, though that was to be expected. He was standing with his back facing me, looking out of his windows.

Another luxury his loyal crew went without, tsk, tsk.

I silently closed the door behind me and stepped into the room. Sadly the door latch made a rather loud click as the door shut back in place. He carefully turned around, "Mate, I told ya I wanted to be alon-" the Captain stopped in mid sentence when he saw me.

I swallowed hard but stood straight and began to recite the scrolls incantation in my mind. "Hi…" I said quietly, hoping to stall him for just a bit longer. He blinked, I suppose the ordeal would be a confusing one "Wha, What in blazes are you doing here girl?"

"I'm a tourist…you know, I tour." I was almost done now with the mental incantation and only needed a few more seconds. He scowled, "Oh, really? Then you best tour your way off my ship before I run ya through." I smiled, _"Finished!"_ I could feel the magic flowing beneath my skin, now all I had to do was touch him.

I glanced down to see that he was nervously fingering the hilt of his cutlass. Swallowing hard I managed to fake a smile. Looking him over quickly, taking a bit more time than necessary to stare at his _tan_ bald spot…

"Forgive me, I just thought that this ship was open to the public."

Did this man really not _see_ my armor? I do hope he wasn't really buying the whole tourist thing.

I stepped closer with my hand outstretched pointing to the balcony door behind him. "Can I use that door?" He quirked his brow and opened his mouth to speak when I gave him a hard slap in the face. Striking people is so very rude, but the spell takes a few second to work properly and I needed him to be a bit shocked so I could ready myself.

He gaped at me for a moment but recovered quickly and made a move to grab me as he unsheathed his sword, "You, little…" his voice soon faded and his eyes glazed over slightly. He took another staggering step for me, the fatigue spell didn't wear him out entirely but it would impair most of his motor skills.

His cutlass fell to the ground making a rather large clanging noise on the floor. His mouth twitched as I casually unwound my new toy, eager to test it. I didn't feel like myself, well I did but a much darker version. I approached the captain with my rope outstretched at arms length.

It was now time to, as the book of tenets put it; send his soul to the void. And I would do just that. In a flash I had the rope wrapped around his neck and was pulling it tightly. I honestly didn't know I could move that fast. His eyes bulged and he made another failed attempt to grab me.

I bit my lip to keep from smiling as I gave it a harder tug, his face going blue. And no, I'm not a sadist but he looked like a Dunmer and I found it funny. He began to gurgle while making incoherent noises as he slowly sank to the floor. I stood over him, looming over him really. I can see why Lucien does it so much, it's an…interesting feeling to hover over a victim.

He thrashed and sputtered as he tried to free himself but soon the struggle ended and he was dead. I watched his pupils slowly dilate and knew he was gone. I carefully unwound the cord and straightened my posture, looking down at the now dead pirate.

Goosebumps adorned my skin and the little hairs on my arms would have stood up if they weren't incased in leather. I gave a small sigh of relief, I had my fix and it was wonderful. Wrapping the cord back around my shoulder I began looking around the room. My thievish ways getting the better of me when I saw a chest.

I scurried over to it, _literally_, adrenaline makes you do the strangest things. Pulling out a lock pick and jamming it into the lock, the captain probably had a key but I was not about to loot his corpse. Opening the wooden chest my eyes began to gleam at the gold and gems. "Jackpot!" I whispered excitedly and emptied the chests contents (all that I could carry anyway).

No sooner had I closed the lid when three loud bangs came from the door. I didn't stick around to see who it was, instead I raced to the other side of the room flung open the balcony door and jumped to the side. I don't know what possessed me to try to jump back to the streets stone railings. But, amazingly enough, I did and landed on it safely.

Lucien knows more about me then I do…How on Nirn does he though?! He said that I could make the jump and if I had just listened to him and jumped in the first place my contract would have long been completed and I might be back on my way to Cheydinhal by now.

"_Speaker has his ways, my ass! Speaker is some type of evil, Robert bringing, dark snowball loving Daedric psychic!"_

I once again cursed Lucien out in thought as I swept through darkness and went back to the alley's. Grumbling and muttering as I through my clothes back on over my armor and scooped up my rucksack. I walked down the streets of the Waterfront with my hands in my pockets to hide my gauntlets, and because it was cold.

I was ready to go home.

No, not _really_ home, just my current place of residence where all my fellows reside. Sighing inwardly I made my way back to the stables.

Who was I kidding? I wanted to go back to the Sanctuary, indeed I wanted to go Home.

But most of all, I wanted to know how Lucien Lachance became a psychic. Maybe Vicente will tell me, he is a bit of a talker once you get him going. I like that about him though, he's very smart and articulate and even if creepy, not as shady as the family man.


	12. Family Table

Authors Notes: I'm so sorry for the big delay with this chapter. I have finally finished moving and am settled in so now I'm back to writing XD. I also just found out that I had anonymous reviews disabled :x, I enabled them now so feel free to review all. This chapter is a bit of a mess, I havent been able to proof read it or anything ' so sorry for any errors but I really wanted to get this chapter posted. R+R would be lovely :D

Envy

Chapter eleven: Family Table

Tirdas was cold and rainy, well more like_ sleat-ish_, but you get the idea. I trudged through the Cheydinhal streets, looking for shelter to get out of the crazed whether and rushed inside the closest inn. I wanted to go to the Sanctuary but it was still, even if rainy, sunset.

Which meant light, even if very little.

The Newlands Lodge was a lot more crowded than I had remembered it being. The inn was packed with Dunmer and sure enough, Orcs. Being the small Imperial that I was, I naturally was dwarfed when crowded by seven foot Orcs. But still, I felt so very tiny and I _hate_ feeling small.

Pushing my way through the endless sea of Mer, I made my way past several shady hooded characters and to the counter where I flopped into one of the only empty stools left. The Dunmer proprietor; Dervera, I believe her name was, quickly looked up once she saw me take a seat.

"Hey! How's it going? Haven't seen you around here in a long time." I smiled, it was always a nice thing to be a 'regular' at a bar.

Or at least it is for me anyway.

"Likewise." I said simply as I fished through my pockets for some gold. "Everything's fine with me, how have you been doing?" I handed her four septim's and she placed a mug of beer in front of me while gesturing to the room around her.

"Seemingly busy." Dervera said as she slouched over the counter. I picked up the mug and was about to bring it to my lips when Lucien's voice echoed through my head eerily. _"I intend to break you of your bad habits, miss Vlando."_

He certainly has a way to get a point through to most. But Hell, I'm thirsty. _"What the family man doesn't know wont hurt him." _I took a long swig of the cold brew, the phrase; 'tastes like horse piss' running quickly through my thoughts as I did so.

"_Seemingly_ busy?" I repeated a smile forming on my face. She nodded and I took another gulp of my suddenly sweet liquor. "Yep, just look around. The lot just gossips and buys a drink every once in awhile. No fun, and because of all the new fines for fighting, not one scrap to cheer."

She sighed heavily as I pulled out a few more coins and placed them on the counter. "Certainly sounds boring. Do you think if I shouted something vulgar things would liven up?" Dervera laughed and pushed me over a new mug.

"I doubt it. But why not giving it a try?" I chugged my drink down quickly and swiveled on my stool to face the crowd. "Oi!" I shouted loudly to get everyone's attention but no one seemed to acknowledge the little, shouting, tipsy Imperial girl.

I gave a defeated sigh and turned around to face Dervera. She was laughing hysterically at how well a bunch of Orcs could ignore me.

Me, of allpeople.

"Wow your off your rocker girl." she said wiping a tear from her eye. "I thought for sure they would have at least looked up. What's your name again? I'm putting you down as a favorite customer." I opened my mouth to answer her while bringing the mug back to my lips when it was suddenly snatched out of my hands.

"Nerah. Her name is Nerah, now she and I must be going." I turned around almost lazily to see who had the nerve to take _my_ drink away from me when I stopped as I recognized the voice_. _

"_Uh-oh…"_

Dervera was glancing over my shoulder as I finished my turn to face the dark robed Lucien Lachance. I mentally swore at my own stupidity, I thought one of the hooded figures looked familiar. There was a long pause where all he did was smile at me and I had to fight the urge to hide behind Dervera.

That was not a 'ha-ha' kind of smile but the, 'you are going to die' one.

"Do you know this guy?" Dervera asked as I gulped. _"Sadly…yeah. I do." _I nodded and he took hold of my arm, his grasp was _far_ to gentle for an angry Lucien, which only meant one thing.

"_I'm going to die." _

"Yeah it's fine." It was most certainly not fine. But there was no way on Nirn I was going to tell her that. I was in enough trouble as it was. "We're leaving now." Lucien stated as he carefully began to tug me to through the bar. His grip on my arm tightening the further we got away from watching eyes.

xxxx

The rain had stopped and the sun was fully set. The Cheydinhal air was so cold now that my breath shown. Lucien was tugging me through the street's alleys. Most likely to find a good place to hide my corpse.

"It has become painfully obvious that you cannot follow the simplest command." he said as he released me and casually crossed his arms behind his back. His expression was not blank nor angry, but curious again.

"I wish to know why you are so disobedient." I rubbed the back of my neck and slouched by the wall of some shop. "I-." What could I say? Why apologies? I didn't do anything wrong. "You are very lucky that I did not command you to stop these silly habits." He began as he took a step toward me.

"I knew you were incapable to keep from drinking, if I had ordered you to stop and you pulled a little stunt like that you would have been dead by morning." His expression contorted to a very serious and stern glance. "Sithis does not take insubordination as lightly as I do."

I bit the inside of my cheek. "It was just one beer sir. I don't see any harm-"

"Two dear girl. But even one is enough to evoke the wrath of Sithis had circumstances been different." I sighed and crossed my arms. So maybe he wasn't going to kill me, but acting like my father is even worse. "I'm no child sir, I wont disabuse the drink or anything else."

I paused and stared up at him, not challengingly but as a way to show that I meant what I was about to say. "I can control myself."

Lucien chuckled "Oh really? I believe I know a few people who would like to argue with that opinion."

I looked away to hide my scowl. There was a long pause and within that time Lucien looked me over in deep contemplation. I watched his face slowly brighten as an idea formed. "I think I may have just found a solution to all this." he mused aloud. His eyes flicked to me and I could see the white gleam of his teeth as he smiled at me through the darkness.

"Go back to the Sanctuary my dear." He said, voice low. "I shall be there shortly."

xxxx

Lucien Lachance…By far the most evil and sadistic _thing_ alive I know. Once I got back to the Sanctuary all was well. I was praised and congratulated on a job well done, but my pride and happiness was soon ripped away when a certain Speaker strode in holding my punishment in his gloved hands.

A small tin of wax…I was to polish Robert.

You may think 'Oh, that's all?' but it is so much worse than it sounds. The experience in itself was simply horrifying, but the fact that I had a giggling Vicente and Lucien hovering over my shoulder made it wretched.

It didn't help my _relationship_ with Robert either. The damn thing was enjoying his polishing far to much for his own good. Rest assured Lucien, I shall never drink again unless allowed.

"_But Oh, will I have my revenge, family man…" _

"Well I think that's good enough for now." Lucien said after what felt like an eternity, "Perhaps you have learned your lesson?" I slowly turned to Lucien and Vicente, not bothering to hide my glowering expression. "You've made yourself perfectly clear, _sir_."

Vicente tapped his chin and began to hum some idle tune to mask his obvious amusement. Lucien however did not show me the same clemency. "You know sister I'm afraid that if you continue to glare at me that way, this will become routine for you."

I watched a smirk slowly snake its way across his lips, "Surely Robert would love that, and it will allow the two of you to bond. He is family after all." I scoffed and got to my feet placing the small tin and rag on a nearby table, "Yeah? Well so is Gogron, you don't see me rubbing him down with that!" I said pointing incredulously at the wax.

"It could be arranged miss Vlando." Vicente could no longer hold in his laughter, "By Sithis you two that's enough!" he doubled over while still in a state of hysterics, "This conversation is going to end horribly! Please for all three of our sakes and this discussion."

This time I had to agree with Vicente. I quickly shut my mouth and put my hands up in a dismissive fashion. "Speaker I'm sorry. You, err, win. I suppose." Lucien's smirk turned into a broad grin as he nodded. "Very wise decision my dear but I did not intend to win anything. Just to get my point through was more satisfactory, it was my motive."

I quirked my brow "Well then you did well on your _motives _Speaker. Got just what you wanted." Lucien's eyes narrowed slightly making his grin more dark, "I usually do." And with that, he turned and left the room leaving me, Vicente, and a still hovering Robert in the Living quarters.

"He is spoiled rotten sister, but I'm afraid the fault is mine." Vicente sighed turning to me, "I never was good and saying; no, to my favorite pupils." He then placed a hand on my shoulder and smiled at me gently, "So do not ask me for anything crazy sister."

Then Vicente to turned and left. I was glad he did so for I was now blushing madly. _"I'm one of his favorite pupils?"_ I felt myself smile slightly, a small involuntary thing on my part. Favorite pupil, well he _is_ my favorite vampire.

My heart beat began to quicken in pace, my face still flushed. I will honestly admit it; yes I do have a bit of a crush on my teacher. We have known each other for a good month now right? He hasn't bit me yet and I do spend most of my time with him…

Why though does the only human male have to be a vampire?

Well there is Lucien…but I think I will risk being bit by a lover than stabbed or whatever else the crazed family man would cook up. So sad really, for a mentally disturbed Speaker slash murderer, he's quite good looking.

I was suddenly pulled from my thoughts as a boney arm was slung over my shoulders. I gave a long exasperated sigh. "Get a life Robert…Literally, then we'll talk."

xxxx

The next morning in the Sanctuary was strangely cold and quiet. I soon noticed that I was alone in the room, not even Antoinetta was still asleep. Drowsiness slowed my movements considerably as I pried myself from my bed. I hated waking up in the mornings, I swear it's worse than being stabbed.

I quickly dressed in some dark plain pants and sweater then quickly exited the room. The living quarters was very unlike the woman's bed chamber. It was warm and inviting. The fireplace, which come to find out somehow did connect to the chimney above and didn't amity smoke, was lit. The smell of something sweet filled my nostrils and my stomach growled angrily.

"Hail sister! I like your behead and stunning attire." Gogron said with a booming laugh. "Tel's back. _And_ she's making pancakes! You've got the honors of eating first of course. Killing a pirate on your first assassination." He sighed and I quirked my brow while smiling. "My Nerah, have you grown."

I laughed, "Thanks Gogron. And pancakes would be a most fitting reward for putting my life on the line." His expression did not falter at all but he did huff. "You would be surprised to find out what really matters in this life. It's far to short, so take what you can and cherish it."

I smiled and headed to the kitchens with Gogron right behind me. "Indeed, take what you can and steal what you cant."

"Envy is a sin sister." Gogron said with a big grin plastered on his face. I turned with a smile of my own to match "Yes it is, and it's also my name."

Everyone was crammed in the kitchen. Antoinetta and Tel were bumbling around the stove while Lucien, Vicente and Teinaava were all seated at the large square table. M'raaj-Dar was thankfully nowhere to be found. He was such an ornery feline, and not the nicest person to chat with.

Not unless you enjoy insults and comments about your mother, or 'yo mama's' as Gogron puts it.

Some odd type of Orcish slang I think.

"Sleeping in?" I heard Lucien ask once he saw the two of us walk in. "Not something well trained assassins do." Vicente scoffed and crossed his arms, "I take offence to that brother in both ways. She is my pupil, therefore I am training her. And of course if you have not noticed I enjoy sleeping in as well."

Lucien rolled his eyes mumbling something about sensitivity as I took a seat next to Teinaava. "Get used to strange breakfast discussions." the Argonian whispered in my ear. "We're all usually to busy at night to discus family things over dinner."

I laughed "Pancakes and bickering is far more interesting than stew and lifeless chatter in my opinion." Vicente looked up slightly taken aback. "Why does everyone feel the need to insult me today? I enjoy stew, and am lifeless!" Lucien, who was just bringing up a mug to his lips began to snicker. "Sensitive." he murmured, then when Vicente shot him a glare looked away innocently.

Soon everyone was sitting down and eating, all staying clear of Antoinetta's rather _bubbly_ looking pancakes. I looked up and noticed though that we were not only missing M'raaj-Dar but Ocheeva as well. "Where's our sister?" I asked aloud furrowing my brow.

"Contract." Lucien said simply as he relaxed back in his chair. "And speaking of which, sister Nerah why don't you tell us in detail, your first kill." The table soon broke out in nods and word of encouragement. Obviously I'm not shy but when it comes to talking about my first assassination…

I think it's normal to feel uncomfortable.

"I already told you all yesterday." I said taking a bite of my sweet fluffy pancake which was relaxing me, as food usually does. it's a wonder that I don't weigh five hundred pounds by now.

"No, you only said that you _did_ it." Antoinetta interjected while smilingly somewhat smugly and glancing toward Lucien. "Didn't she Speaker?" Lucien shrugged, "I wouldn't know, I was far to busy fetching Roberts present at the time."

Vicente began giggling which made Tel quirk her eyebrows eloquently, "What's so funny Vicente?" Vicente looked up at her and glanced toward me. "You don't want to know." I groaned as Gogron nudged me "What's he talking about Nerah?"

"Sister do enlighten us with your first kill." Teinaava said thankfully changing the topic and turning to me once again. "Yeah," Antoinetta piped up, "we all did it."

I gave a sigh of defeat and began to go over in detail my first completed assassination. Mainly as a way to further change the subject from my polishing of Robert. But to my surprise, retelling my kill to an eagerly listening crowd turned out to be enjoyable.

Moreover, talking to anyone in the family was starting to become very enjoyable. We are indeed like minded individuals after all.


	13. Glimpse

Authors Notes: Chapter twelve. I have to say I love writing Oblivion fan fiction, it's so fun XD. Ehem, this chapter takes on a bit more of a serious tone toward the end though. It explains some things about Nerah, and her ways and show a bit more bonding between her and Antoinetta. But before I start confusing people I want to say that this is not a Vicente/OC fic. I wont get into details (I try not to write spoilers XD) but Vicente, like all the rest of the DB will play very important roles in this story. R+R if you think this story is worthy! lol. And thank you all who do read or review...or both :D Oh yeah, MANY THANKS FOR 2,000 HITS!! (didn't I thank everyone just a few days ago for making the big 1,000?) expect another update soon!

Envy

Chapter twelve: Glimpse

Cheydinhal has turned into Bruma. The land was covered in a thick blanket of fluffy white snow, so cold that if you stepped foot outside your fingers would ultimately go numb. I have only one way to describe such a wonderland;

Eww.

I absolutely hate the cold, snow, and winter! Yes they all relate to winter but still, I hate every aspect of this damned season. Staying cooped up in the Sanctuary helped, but only slightly. Vicente would never give me a moments rest, we're constantly training now and if I'm not doing as well as he thinks I should be he'll always say, 'don't make me get Robert sister.'

My new found torment, his and Lucien's ploy to make me their slave. I had to even do the shopping this week in the blizzard and of course Robert was the key thing to make me do so. Okay maybe slave is to strong of a word, I did get to stretch my legs and get some real fresh air after all.

Even if said 'air' was thick with despicable flecks of snowy doom.

Life in the Sanctuary has it's up's and downs. One things for sure though the Dark Brotherhood is anything but organized. At first I thought we all worked on schedules and such, but come to find out our assassinations are not as routine as I imagined.

Lucien, Ocheeva, and Vicente pick who will be fulfilling certain assignments based on our skills. Don't know why I thought we all went through some odd killing cycle, like there was some strange chart that told who was free to murder on a Morndas.

Silly, but I really did think that for a long time.

Currently though I was not thinking about anything on those topics or anything of real interest really. Aside from the now armed vampire in front of me of course…

Training, if you had yet to guess. Vicente and I were going to do what I though was our usual sparing. Instead he just walked into the training room with two swords, real swords mind you.

"Erm, Vicente," I began slowly with my brow arching slightly. "What are those for?" Vicente shut the training room door behind him, after a rather unlucky incident that had to do with poor Antoinetta almost having me thrown into her, shutting the door tightly became more than just a precaution, it was now procedure.

A flying Nerah Vlando is not something one wants to be hit with.

"To be blunt sister, slaying people." he said smiling, the smallest point to his fangs noticeable as he did so. "Today though there soul purpose is to merely train you. Our Speaker has finally gave me the 'okay' to do so." He handed me a short sword made out of shiny steal.

Or was it iron? I'm not really good with anything sharp and pointy…Vicente excluded.

"Ah," I said as I ran my hand along the cool metal "am I going to regret this training session Vicente?" he laughed and shook his head "I doubt it sister, training is not a term I use lightly. This is mainly allowing you to get the feel of a sword."

He paused and eyed me skeptically, "Lucien made it quite clear that he did not want any blood, shed even if it was…accidental." Vicente pursed his lips and gently tapped the hilt of his sword, "Odd though of Lucien. I fear he thinks I'll drain you dry." He looked at me grinning broadly, the red iris of his eyes seemed a bit more brighter as he did so.

"Tempting as that thought may be I'm afraid I must decline. I'm not really in the habit of biting family members without there consent. That lesson has been learned." I must have went stony faced as he started snickering.

"Don't worry sister if you find bite marks anywhere on your person they wont be from me." I felt my shoulders droop a bit as I sighed in relief. "But I would watch Robert though." Vicente teased. I pouted, "Ha ha, very funny Vicente."

He smiled, "I know it is. Now swords up, carefully of course. Show me how you think that weapon should be held sister."

xxxx

I had never realized how elegant the ways of the sword were. When you see a blade you don't necessarily think of the flowing movements it's wielder has to go through to massacre people. It's all really graceful, the steps, the gentle swing of your arm. It must take years to prefect the art.

I think of it as a paradox. Can you really imagine Gogron dancing around the Sanctuary in a pink leotard? Because frankly the ways of the sword closely resemble dancing. I hate dancing but have taken an odd fascination to proper graceful weapon stances.

Go figure, since their both the same thing, I think I'm contradicting myself.

The lesson in itself though wasn't very interesting so I wont go into detail. Vicente mainly just stood behind me and helped me maneuver and learn the positions. That or he demonstrate them for me. It was interesting and all, of course beautiful to watch but I fear I wasn't paying as close attention to the lesson as I was supposed to.

Watch a good looking vampire or a sword…

You see my dilemma.

But it was a good lesson and I did learn at least how to properly hold a sword because _apparently_ holding it above your head is not the proper way a stealthy assassin should wield their weapon.

xxxx

When I left the training room I was surprised to find Antoinetta waiting outside it for me. "Sister," she called waving me over to her. "I need to speak with you."

I didn't really think anything of it so I quickly walked over to her. "What is it?" I asked while furrowing my brow at the devilish grin forming on her face. She ushered me into the living quarters and then to our room where she closed the door behind her.

She turned on her heal quickly to face me and said one whispered word that made me flinch, "Squeamish?" I bite the inside of my cheek and stared up at her disbelievingly _"How in Oblivion would she know that?" _To me it was ironic that one of _my_ only secrets would be spread around a family of cutthroats. After all I have yet to hear any gossip on the other family members.

Being popular is a curse. It figures, in Chorrol no one had anyone even known my name but now once in the Dark Brotherhood rumors are being spread about me. Worse yet, their true rumors.

Deciding that my best way to get out of this rather uncomfortable situation was to lie, I shook my head and gave what I thought was a convincing laugh. "Antoinetta what are you talking about?" She smiled knowingly and flopped down onto her bed.

"Sister don't try to deny it. Lucien stopped by today while you and Vicente were training, to speak to Ocheeva about you…" her voice trailed off slightly as she watched my expression darken.

"So, you listened in on our Speaker's conversation then? I though the Tenets stated that secrecy was a very important part of the Brotherhood's culture." Wow would the family man be proud of that one, he still has yet to ask me to go over that book word for word.

Antoinetta clucked her tongue. "I'm not poking fun at you, I just thought it was odd. Don't be so defensive. Besides it's not like it could stay secret forever." she laughed, "We are children of shadows and whispers, naturally it would have been found out."

I sighed "True, but what about it? Lucien doesn't find it that big of a deal. He's the one who told me not to worry." Antoinetta quirked her brow, "Really?" she asked seeming genuinely interested. I nodded and continued smiling, "Yeah, he says he would fix it somehow. Something involving ice."

There was a short pause and Antoinetta looked utterly confused, the way I must have looked when Lucien informed me of the ice method.

That man and his methods. I swear he should write a book.

"Strange." she said after while. Antoinetta then looked back up at me her brow quirked, "How come your squeamish Nerah?" I blinked. Honestly I had not expected such a question. "How? I don't know, just am." she crossed her arms and smiled.

"Come off it. Phobias like that don't usually come out of the blue, something must have triggered it." I looked away from her in order to hide my glare. In a way I would have liked to tell her why I had become what Lucien calls a, 'blood fearer'. Something though was keeping me from doing so.

Call me fickle, but I don't give out personal information to people easily. Not unless I have blackmail on the said recipient.

xxxx

"Did you know that I don't eat anything with Bay leafs in it?" Antoinetta said. The comment was so random that I couldn't help but to laugh. "What are you talking about _now_ sister?" She smiled, and I had a feeling she was slowly beginning to work my personal information out of me.

Prying away without the use of a crowbar. Clever tactic.

"Its true." she continued while smiling. "Wont touch a damn thing with Bay leafs in it. Would you like to know why, sister?" Hell, why not play along? She doesn't seem to be very subtle about her motives, but then again this _is_ Antoinetta I'm talking about.

"Sure." I said with a shrug as I too sat down on my mattress. "Well," she began as she moved more to the edge of her bed. It was an odd sight to see really, a black leather clad assassin giddily talking about her Bay leaf phobia.

I thought I had it bad.

"When I was about your age, maybe a year or two younger, I lived with my Aunt." I nodded, and couldn't help but to become somewhat more interested in her story than I had originally planned. The way her voice had taken on a mischievous tone made me feel almost involved in something, like I was an alibi in a murder.

Which means this is going to be a hell of a bedtime story…even if it's only noontime.

"She was a vile woman, had me working like a slave and was always striking me for no reason. So, naturally, I wanted a bit of revenge." Antoinetta's smile grew into a large wolfish grin. "That whole day is all a blur really. I can hardly remember doing any of it."

She scratched her head, face crumpled trying to remember back on what I could tell was inevitably her aunt's demise. "We lived up in the woods, nightshade grew all over and I always picked a few and placed them in a vase on her table. But this time I took a few extra."

Antoinetta snickered as she shook her head. "She had me make her soup that night. Dumb thing she was, didn't even ask me why I had added so many Bay leafs to the bowl. The smell is over powering you see, masked the nightshade perfectly."

Her snickering turned into loud cackles of laughter, "Fell over dead, face first in her soup!" I stared at her for a moment. Not sure if I should be horrified or amused, needless to say I was feeling a bit of both. Poisoning wasn't my idea of a thigh slapping joke, but picturing someone's head in a bowl of hot soup…

Hilarious.

We continued to laugh for a few minutes, Antoinetta even acting out the slow motion fall of her aunts head into an imaginary bowl. But through our laughter I could see the moral of her story, well not really moral but reason behind her Phobia.

She had the more comical passive way about things, an attitude I wished I could have. My fear of blood wasn't as simple as her; death by soup.

Antoinetta wiped a tear away from her eyes, "So you see sister, there's a reason for everything." I nodded slowly, "I know. I really do have a reason for not liking blood you know. I just don't care to talk about it. Its not really…funny."

Antoinetta blinked, somewhat taken aback. "It doesn't have to be Nerah. Just take it from me," she began taking on a much more soothing tone. "it feels better to get these things off your chest. Assassin or not, you will have to let go of many things sooner or later. But sooner, the better."

I sighed and nodded slowly. "I guess your right." I fell into her ploy and she into mine, I would never have confessed why blood scared me to her if she didn't in turn tell me something of her past. Either way though she did make sense, and I did want to talk to someone.

"My mom," I started slowly but for some reason my voice came out harder than I had wanted it to. "she died, or was killed rather, when I was eight years old." Antoinetta's face faltered but she kept quiet for once and I was grateful.

"It's been almost ten years now but I can remember that day as if it just happened seconds ago." I snorted, "Pathetic really, me. I shouldn't dwell on such things but I cant seem to get the images out of my head." hot tears began to prickle in my eyes but they were not tears of sorrow, they were there out of anger.

"I was the one who found her, and my uncle. They were both dead, murdered. My uncle had a big hole in his chest, like he had been stabbed with a big sword and my mom-" I stopped and looked away, mustering up the next few words felt harder than anything else I have ever done.

"She had been bitten, her throat was torn…killed by a vampire. Drained dry, but was covered in blood. I-I fainted." I felt pathetic and rather childish, confessing that my first time fainting was keeling over in my family members entrails. Well not technically entrails but you get the idea.

Antoinetta stared at me unsure of whether or not she should comfort me or tell me to press on. I chose the latter. "When I woke up I was in my bed. My father had told me that my mother and uncle were murdered and the Legion was going to catch the _criminal_."

I laughed, cold joyless laughter. "They never did find the person who did it. Funny, they even suspected the Dark Brotherhood at one point. It's how I knew what Lucien was talking about when he first came to recruit me." I ran a hand through my hair, I wanted something to drink, something good strong and impairing.

Damn Robert…

"But that's all really, why I'm squeamish. I just wish I hadn't been so young at the time, I mean really, look at what a wonderful young lady I have turned out to be from the ordeal!" I stood while faking laughter and turned away from Antoinetta, I didn't want her to see me crying.

"You are wonderful Nerah. In our own strange ways everyone is, it is all a matter of perspective. Right and wrong is not as black and white as the world see's it." I heard Antoinetta stand and begin to approach me. "Honestly I'm surprised you turned out the way you have. It just shows that your as tough as nails."

I could hear the smile in her voice, in made me feel better. I blinked away my tears, when I do cry, however rare it may be, it is usually over something important and never lasts long. I wouldn't allow myself to enter depression or any other pitiful state along that line.

Some people can, Natily Veetour can. But not me, not Nerah Vlando.

"I have to ask you sister, how come you don't hate Vicente? He's a vampire, I would think that-"

"Vicente may be a vampire but he is also my brother. Besides, I'm not a racist. I wont hate every vampire in the world just because one decided to have a go at my family. That's like me hating every undead just because Robert is a pervert."

She laughed and placed a hand on my shoulder. "Ah yes poor Robert. You know, there is a lovely Dunmer alchemist in Skingrad who might fancy him. She does tend to enjoy dead things if you know what I mean." I laughed "Disgusting, that's necrophilia Antoinetta!"

She smiled, "I know it is and so does she. Perhaps we should take a trip down there one of these days and drop Robert off on her doorstep. It will be like the morn of Evening Star to the two!"

xxxx

We left our room while still laughing. I was surprised at how good I felt. I was afraid that talking about what happened when I was young would lead my to hysterics, not laughing about necrophilia. It had to be one of the most unexpected turn of events for me since I joined the Brotherhood.

I hadn't felt this relieved in a while. Talking really did seem to make one feel better, but me and Antoinetta's topic had changed from necrophilia to more pressing matters. She turned to me grinning, "You know what we should ask Vicente sister?" Antoinetta asked.

I shook my head, "No, what?" She beamed once Vicente crossed our path, holding a book and entering the library. "Well, I have always wanted to know if he considers anyone who sleeps with him, a necrophiliac." I turned pink in attempts to hold back my laughter.

"_You know, I honestly never thought about that."_


	14. Fate Greetings

Authors Notes: My condolences for such a long wait! I have been really busy, and still am busy XD but I really wanted to get a chapter in. I'm sorry it took so long but I rarely had time to sit down for anything this week. (Which really sucks because I love writing this fic, and sitting) hehe, to be honest I don't know when my next update will be. It all depends on whether or not I can get some computer time. Review please, and thanks for reading! (insert some random smiley that the my ancient computer wont pick up) :D

Envy

Chapter thirteen: Fate Greetings

We all should know by now just how cruel fate can be. Have you ever stopped for a moment, looked up to your ceiling and thought, 'this cannot be my life.'? I have on multiple occasions and am fighting the urge to do so right now. Because guess what! I just received my newest assignment, and guess where I am to travel? Go on, take a shot in the dark…

Bruma you say? Right you are. But in such horrid weather?

Lucien Lachance is a mean, mean man…

"What?" I asked Vicente slowly as he eyed me from across the table. "Bruma?! It's a fetching blizzard Vicente!"

I may never understand how or why he is such a calm person. I mean, vampires cant like the cold either can they? What would he do in my shoes? So there I sat, dumbfounded and horrified, wanting Lucien to come down here so I could wring his neck.

Or attempt to rather, It would ultimately end in my death though and at the family man's hands…never mind. I don't even want to fathom how he kills people. Instead I want him to come down here so I could make vulgar gestures behind his back.

Oh yeah, that's sweet revenge.

"Sister you are getting yourself worked up for no reason. Bruma is a two day trip on a horse, and besides that you don't have to leave for a few days." He paused and picked up the parchment with all of the assassination details.

"The contract must be fulfilled this month. The weather wont last forever, and even if it does this is a rather easy contract as you may know. All you have to do is stay hidden and quiet." I scoffed, "But how am I to stay quiet if my teeth wont stop chattering, brother?"

Vicente chuckled and pinched the bridge of his nose. "You are far to stubborn. Lucien has made up his mind and wants to use this assignment to test your stealth." He paused for a moment and I found myself watching his hands. He has a tendency to talk with them, I wonder if he knows some forms of sign language.

"The will of Sithis cannot stop just because you don't like the cold." I nodded and gave a sigh of defeat. "Fine. I accept the contract, I may not like it though." He laughed. "Do you think I enjoy having to eliminate certain targets in daylight? That doesn't stop me from doing them."

I wrinkled my brow. "How can you kill in daylight Vicente, don't you turn to dust or something?" he snorted, "If not properly fed, then yes. You would have to sweep me from the pavement." I scrunched my face further. _"If not properly fed?"_

As if he had read my mind he began to explain. "Vampires can walk in the daylight, and can also look like average citizens, besides our eyes of course." he smiled and then quickly added, "And fangs. It all depends on how much we drink really. Not every vampire is the same, it's much more…" he paused and looked off to the side as if searching for the correct word.

"Complicated."

xxxx

Telaendril had arrived back in the Sanctuary later on that day. She is one of the higher ranking killers I suppose, why else would she be gone so much? Anyway, she had heard about my contract and told me that she had some advice to give.

She pulled me over in the library just about an hour after her arrival. "Sister, I heard you have another contract already, well done." I tried my best to smile, but contract or not it was up in cold, Nord filled Bruma.

"Yeah I do. Vicente tells me that the only reason I have received another so soon is because the family ma-" I stopped and faked a coughing fit. _"Don't call him family man around his assassins! Big no, no!"_ I cleared my throat and _casually_ continued.

"Is because our _Speaker_ wants to test my stealth. I'm to travel to Bruma as soon as the weather lets up a bit." Her face fell, she looked as though she had only the deepest sympathy for me. She then gave a small sigh and placed a hand on my shoulder. "You poor thing." she began,

"_Err, what?" _

"I cannot believe Lucien, sending you out in a blizzard. And while your ill no less." I blinked, somewhat confused. When did I become magically sick?

…Oh yeah! Coughing fit…smooth.

I tried my best to hide the triumphant smile, I love having people pity me. "I'm sure he doesn't know that I'm sick." I started, playing along to the whole, 'sick, woe is me' thing. "And it's just a cold after all." Telaendril shook her head, "Still, I doubt this weather is going to let up anytime soon…but perhaps I can help you."

I furrowed my brow. "Help me? How can you do that sister?" she smiled and beckoned me to follow her to the living quarters.

Once we entered our bedroom, she walked over to her recently discarded equipment and reached into her bag. "These will do you some good on a long trip." she said while handing me several small pink vials. I stared down at them skeptically.

I may eat food and things assassins prepare, but drinking their potions…it's a whole other story.

"What is it?" I asked picking up one of the tiny bottles by it's neck and holding it up to the torch light. "It's called a Potion of Warmth, sister. You see, the contract that I have just completed was to eliminate a runaway mage. He was hiding up in the Jerald mountains. These came in handy for the both of us."

She gave a small chuckle, "But I doubt he'll be needing them now." I smiled, I knew all about certain potions. I once had stolen a book on alchemy and it told all about temperature altering brews. So naturally, if it tasted off or smelled other than the books description, it would line the Sanctuary walls.

xxxx

"It's _fetching freezing_ up here." I mumbled as I pushed open an old tavern door that led to 'Olav's Tap and Tack'. After what seemed like an eternity of travel, which in fact only was two days, I had arrived in Bruma.

I was cold, wet, and yes irritable. So the term 'bitch' suited me just fine.

But then again…it usually does.

Anyway, besides my poor attitude I was fine. The trip was _okay_ thanks to those potions Teleandril had given me. But as I entered the tavern, all I could do was wonder why anyone who was in their right mind, would want to live in _Bruma_?

Then again, they are mostly Nord's; lovers of cold and beer. I guess you cant really tell whether or not they have sane minds. But that makes my reason for being here all the more easy, the drunker they are the less they'll notice the mean little Imperial.

I pushed past the rather large crowd and made my way to the counter. The sign outside said that this place had beds and food, so hopefully I can get myself a room and plan out this mission a little better. I have never staged an accident before…could be interesting.

"Welcome to the Tap and Tack, Imperial. I'm the owner of this fine establishment. What can I get ya?" I despise the boldness of Nord's. You cant even think straight with one of them around, never mind a Tavern full.

"Do you have a _room_?" I asked faking a smile and making sure to emphasize what I was looking for.

I don't want to confuse him, asking for a place to sleep can give a Nord quite the mental strain.

He blinked, and nodded. "Yeah I got a room. Straight to the point then eh?" My smile grew; bigger and faker. "Always am."

I reached around my back and opened my rucksack, searching for what little gold I had left. "How much sir?" He began to rub the back of his neck almost nervously, "Well you see lass, It'll be fairly cheap. Hadn't _really_ got a chance to clean it yet…Ten Septim's should do it for you."

My fake smile fell, if I hated anything…Well I almost hate everything, but one of the things I hate the most is filth. The last thing I wanted to do was stay in a disgusting room that smelt of mead and Gods know what else.

"Superb." I grumbled and unceremoniously dropped the _required_ amount of coins in his hands. Smiling slightly as several fell onto the floor leaving the proprietor to flop on his knees and catch them before they all rolled away.

I plucked the key from the counter and turned on my heel, heading for my new temporary dwelling. "Thank you for your patronage!" I heard him call out to me as I continued through the bar. Rolling my eyes I walked onward through the inn.

Nord's, they don't know what sarcasm is, or how to tell whether or not a person is on the verge of killing you. Thinking of death, I have an assignment to attend to. But one must make the proper preparations of course. So I believe a good nights rest is in order.

xxxx

Silence is the key to success in this endeavor. If there was ever a time to be a noisy, clumsy, fool certainly it wouldn't be now. Definitely not. You see, now is the time I thank my dear dead uncle; Servill, for my enchanted bag.

This Baenlin guy is loaded! I mean, I have never seen a basement so stuffed with silver in all of my life. It's like he's afraid it's going to go out of style. And who on Nirn would keep in in their basement anyway, Does he not have cabinets upstairs?

Or is he too_ good _for cabinets?

Either way I'm profiting from his ignorance and stupidity. After all the lock to get into his basement was almost frozen off, all I had to do was give it a few good kicks. No need to try picks on an rusty ice covered lock.

Making my way up to his home was fairly easy too. I'll admit that my adrenaline was fueling me, had it not been then I don't think I would have made it into his bedroom so quickly and quietly. His homes layout was exactly as one would expect it to be, average. Living room and kitchen downstairs and bedrooms up.

But before I went running off to look for this 'crawlspace', I first wanted to find my target and his Nordic bodyguard. I peaked over the banister and looked down into the sitting area, sure enough they both were there.

Funny, I had run past them a few moments ago and didn't even notice them. Best to be more cautious.

Baenlin was sitting in his reading chair, as was supposed to be his habit and the bodyguard, Gromm, was in the kitchens. Doing what I don't know, but as long as he stayed in there I was fine. Carefully I slunk away from the railings and made my was into the first room.

One could tell that this had to be where the Nord slept. All was dusty and dingy, much unlike the rest of the house. I made sure to muffle my footsteps as much as possible as I walked across the creaky floorboards. But thanks to the harsh winds outside any slight noise I made was carried away.

Luck seemed to be on my side this time.

It only took a moment to locate the crawlspace. It was hidden behind a small dresser. Or shall I say someone had attempted to hide it, the crawlspace itself was twice the size of the drawers.

But I guess that was something I should have expected, this was a Nord who had tried to conceal it.

I didn't even need to move the dresser, I simply climbed on top of it and slid the crawlspace door open. I was small enough to slide right inside. The floors here were so old that the candlelight from downstairs seeped through the boards.

Which was good for me, without that little light it would have probably taken me an hour to locate the stuffed head.

xxxx

As Vicente had told me the ties on the back of the old Minotaur had weakened considerably overtime. The ropes were almost threadbare and without my meddling would surely fall within a year or two. I wrapped my hand around the hilt of my dagger, debating whether or not I was going to slice through the ties.

It seemed like the logical thing to do at the moment, but what if something went wrong, or the city watch gets called to investigate? I may be lucky but only fools rely on luck alone. "No." I whispered to myself as I let go of the blade of Woe.

There was other methods that I could do that would make this seem more like an accident…Heat, friction, fire.

Ah the little firebug in me.

I closed my eyes and placed both hands on the ropes. Remembering the little bit of arcane magic I had picked up over the years, I summoned a small flame in my hands, so little and dim that it was barley visible for me.

Quickly I let the flame die out, but focused all my energy on retaining its heat. Which in all honesty is easier said then done. Regardless of my mental strain, I set to work and slowly began crisping up the old ties. Within a matter of minutes there was a loud crack.

My heart began to pound away in my chest as I pushed myself from the wall and just in time. I watched as the heavy stuffed head fell like a lead weight to the ground below, soon followed by a loud _slushy_ crunching sound and a lot of screaming.

I silently returned to peak out the small holes in the wall, where the tie had just been, and looked down. The Nord was now sobbing by the kitchen doorway, his ax was drawn but he was not in a fighters stance. That could only mean he thought it was an accident.

Good.

Shifting my gaze downward more I looked over to the dead elf, and immediately wished I didn't. What had once been a Mer, now looked like Gogron's meat surprise. Which is to say; red, chunky and all around…sickening.

My head went fuzzy and my vision became obscured with spots. I blinked lazily and knew that it was time to go.

That or I stick around and faint, something no assassin wants to do. That I assure you.

xxxx

Once again I was face to face with the man eating door. Never have I been so happy to see the damned thing, I was once again cold and wet, ready to take on any obstacle in order to enter the Sanctuary.

So Black Door, bring it on.

I stood there with my arms crossed waiting for it to open for me. It's not like it has a doorknob. Impatiently I began to tap my foot, "You opened for me last time did you not? Open now." There was another very long pause, and in that time I began to contemplate how to hurt a door.

"Sanguine my brother?" I tried again. Still, no response. I began to grind my teeth and was just about to call the door a very bad word when I picked up distant footsteps coming from behind me. I pulled out my blade and turned, awaiting to see who was approaching.

I know it could have been one of my fellow assassins but it's better safe than sorry.

I watched as a black robed figure slowly approached, his face obscured by the doors malevolent red lighting. "Speaker?" I asked and went to sheath my dagger, but quickly decided against it as the figure shook his head.

"I'm afraid not new sister, that honorable title is not yet mine." I blinked and watched as a smiling Breton entered the lighting more so that the details of his face could be seen.

He was older than me, but only by ten or so years. His eyes were a murky brown and looked sunken in as if he hadn't gotten a good nights rest in a very long time. For a Breton he was tall, but other than that average looking.

Still, I didn't much care for his eyes. As I've said before, you can see into a persons soul by looking into them. His were just far to murky for my liking.

But who am I to judge?

"Oh, forgive me…err, brother?" He smiled and reached out his hand for me to shake, common courtesy, I took it. "It is an honor to meet you sister Nerah." he began, I learned not to bother asking how people I don't know knew my name. It seems common practice for the Dark Brotherhood to be as shady as possible.

"I am Mathieu Bellamont, loyal child of our lady the Night Mother."


	15. Small Epiphany

Authors Notes: Finally the plot starts to really thicken. It will take awhile for any of this nonsense to make erm…sense, but it will eventually. Some of you Morrowind fans out there may just make a connection or two :D. Before I spoil anymore of this, here is chapter fourteen and thanks again for the reviews, keep them coming!

Envy

Chapter fourteen: Small Epiphany

"It's nice to meet you brother Bellamont. I wasn't aware of there being anymore assassins in Cheydinhal." Mathieu smiled and stepped closer. "Ah, well I'm afraid I'm not all that famous or popular within this Sanctuary anymore. To be honest I am rarely here."

I wrinkled my brow, "Very busy I presume?" he nodded and gave a small sigh. "Sadly yes. Speaker Lucien always has me sent on contracts. None easy I assure you." scoffing, I crossed my arms. "I believe you brother. He likes to run us all ragged now doesn't he?"

I watched as Mathieu slowly inclined his head to the side, a small curious smile forming on his lips. "Indeed he does sister." I found myself shifting under his gaze. Which is very unlike my usual self. Sure I may be nervous and timid around our Speaker in question, but that's because he's a sadist.

This man though; this_ brother_ of mine, didn't strike me as a sadist. No, more as a creep in all honesty.

Bellamont soon pointed to the door, in turn making me flinch. For a second I thought he was going to grab me. "Having trouble entering the Sanctuary?" I blinked but then remembered that I had been stuck out here for about ten minutes now.

"Oh! Yes I am. Strange door, I never had a problem opening it before." Mathieu grinned and took another step past me, albeit smugly. "Sister Nerah, there is but one thing you must learn about the Black Door," he raised his hand and I watched as a dark purple, smoke-like light emanated delicately from his fingertips.

It soon enveloped the entire doorway. "always have a firm hand. Sometimes it will not open for me, perhaps it is just giving you the same treatment."

xxxx

Despite his creepy antics I could not find anything really wrong with him other than the obvious. His head simply isn't screwed on right. We are a bunch of assassins, I don't think any of us are completely sane. Still, I certainly didn't like the way I could literally _feel_ his muddy brown eyes upon my back as we entered the Sanctuary.

Perhaps I am just being paranoid. Whether or not he is a psychopath I must learn to except him. After all, he is my brother.

"So," I finally began in an almost desperate attempt to break the awkward silence between us, "what brings you to Cheydinhal? If you don't mind my asking of course." Usually I'm not this polite to people who freak me out, or people in general for that matter but I felt the need to be kind.

He does not strike me as the one you want to piss off. Its always the quiet ones…

"Not at all sister. I'm here simply for a pleasure visit." I was somewhat glad now that he was walking behind me, I didn't want him to see my rather…skeptical face. "Pleasure visit?" I repeated trying to sound as casual as possible, "There's not much to enjoy here I'm afraid."

We finally came to a halt outside of Vicente's door. I turned to face Bellamont and almost flinched as I did so. _"By Sith- I mean Mara, What is with his eyes?"_ Once again he was staring at me like a deranged lunatic. "Quite the contrary sister Nerah. I have been in this Sanctuary for merely minutes and I have already come to enjoy…many things."

He looked me over and it wasn't the kind of way I nor anyone would want to be looked over by him. If I hadn't been so utterly repulsed by the fact that not only did he just make a pass at me and is now casually letting his eyes linger over certain parts of my person, I would have punched him…hard.

I may not be big or strong, but I can pack a punch when needed be, just take my word for it.

Before I could make good on that mental decision though the doors to Vicente's room were flung open and we were both warmly greeted by a rather chipper vampire.

Freaky brother's and chipper vampires, a very odd paradoxical way to be welcomed home.

"Well hello there sister, and brother Mathieu? What a pleasant surprise." Vicente ushered us both into his room. Unlike it's usual cold atmosphere I couldn't help but note on how much warmer and welcoming it was. Much different from the hallway, but that was probably because of how irked I was by Bellamont.

Oh but irked is _not_ the appropriate word.

"Please have a seat the both of you. I am looking forward to hearing about your recent achievements brother, as well as your contract Nerah." I took a seat in my usual spot, the chair opposite of Vicente's only to be further disappointed to see that Mathieu felt the need to take a seat to my immediate right.

Couldn't he stand off to the side or something? Maybe go run through a field of hungry Scamps naked?

Wait no, not that! The poor Scamps!…

xxxx

"Nerah? By the Mother, have you gone deaf girl?" I heard Vicente chortle which quickly brought me back from my mind and into the present. Blinking I shook my head, "Err, no sorry Vicente I was lost in a…Memory?"

"_Yeah, more like consoling my mental Scamps, I fear they'll never recover." _

"Oh, well I had just asked you how the mission went," Looking up a bit more I noticed there was a goblet placed in front of me, filled to the brim with a purple velvet colored liquid. Wondering briefly when someone had poured me wine, I quickly plucked it from the table and was about to take a sip when I suddenly remembered, Robert.

I looked toward Vicente slowly almost sneering. "Taunting me are you brother?" I asked lowly with just a hint of sarcastic amusement. Vicente flashed me a wide smile, "You have my word that I would never torment you in such a way. Lucien has told me that you can have bits of wine. Just no more…how did he put it again, drinking binges?"

Grinning I looked to my goblet and back to Vicente. "Really? You have my word that it takes a lot more than wine to get me drunk Vicente. I wont be binging anytime soon brother, I have learned my lesson." I took a small sip of the wine in order to savor its bittersweet taste.

I gave a grateful sigh, "I'll have to thank Lucien later." No sooner had I said that though did I hear Bellamont scoff, "Thank him? Shouldn't it be your choice whether or not you choice to drink?" Vicente quirked his brow and I blinked somewhat shocked.

No way on Nirn would I have contradicted the family man the way Bellamont just did and judging by the look on Vicente's face he didn't seem to expect such a brash comment either.

It wasn't necessarily what he said but the way he had said it. You know that kind of tone that only the most pompous people use?

"Well I suppose it should be my decision but he is my Speaker and that makes him the _boss_. Besides, its really for the better I suppose." I took another small drink and set the goblet down only this time to hear Bellamont snort.

Which is a very irritating sound. Trust me.

"You don't sound so sure. It just doesn't strike me as fair for him to make decisions; such as that, for you." I opened my mouth to comment but no retort came. Pursing my lips I gave a small shrug. His comment had me in a state of ambivalence. He had a point which made sense to me but for some reason I also thought it a form of blasphemy to agree with him.

Thus, Nerah Vlando is stumped.

"Brother Bellamont, may I ask a favor of you?" Vicente suddenly piped in, taking my attention away from my mental conflicts. "Yes Vicente?" he quickly replied, finally looking toward Vicente instead of me.

I'm going to have to thank Vicente too after this.

"Could you go to the training room and speak to M'raaj-Dar? I know he's been meaning to speak with you." Mathieu quickly stood from his chair. _"Of course he congregates with the only assassin I loath."_

"Of course. We shall speak later as I wont be leaving for sometime. Pleasure seeing you Vicente, Nerah." he bowed out of the room and no sooner had the door closed behind him did I turn to Vicente.

"What is the matter with that man?" I asked lowly while watching Vicente try to hide the smile from his face. "Nothing sister, he is just a very opinionated individual."

"Brother opinionated is not the word. He's creepy!" He quirked his brow, "Are you forgetting that we're in the Dark Brotherhood? Many of us praise being, _creepy_. It is a rather honorable trait for assassins." I shrugged and leaned over the table, twirling the goblet between my fingers.

"Still…I don't like his eyes." Vicente chuckled. "Not a fan of brown, sister?" I gave him a wiry smile and shook my head. "That's what I go by. It's not the color but more of what's behind it." Vicente stopped, his goblet midway to his lips.

"I beg your pardon?" Looking up more I couldn't help but to notice how Vicente's demeanor had changed. He suddenly seemed rather fidgety. "Eyes." I repeated, "You can read into a persons soul by looking them in the eyes." Vicente stood so abruptly that he almost tipped over his goblet of wine. He smoothed back his hair but it quickly came to my attention that his hands were shaking slightly.

For a moment I thought that maybe I had done something wrong or that he had forgotten something, but the look on his face dismissed those thoughts. He looked as though a horrid epiphany had struck him. "Where…who told you that? I mean, it sounds like an old saying." He sounded almost out of breath but seeing as vampires don't breath…maybe he needed something a bit _stronger_ than wine to drink.

This was certainly unlike the articulate Vicente I had come to know so quite naturally I was worried.

"It is an old saying," I started as I stood, slowly approaching him. "my mother used to say it all the time. Its just a silly little family superstition." He turned to me nodding and took a step forward. For a moment all he did was stare at me then a look of realization swept over his face and I saw him distinctly mouth, 'blue'. "What was your mothers name Nerah?" he asked while trying to regain his composure. "If you don't mind my asking of course."

I pursed my lips still worried about Vicente, wondering what it was that was bothering him so. Maybe he just didn't like the concept of eyes and souls…could be just some sort of strange phobia.

xxxx

"Magia. Magia Veetour." Upon saying my mothers name I began to think of something. It was the first thought that had crossed my mind when I had first me Vicente, the reason why I had been so quick to draw out my dagger. _"Is this the vampire that did it?" _But soon after talking with him and seeing how civil he was I naturally pushed all my ill thoughts of him aside.

Only now to have them return.

I looked Vicente over carefully he seemed suddenly saddened now. I wrinkled my brow and tried my best to imagine a mental image of Vicente attacking my mother and uncle. Obviously I couldn't. I could see him offering them wine and cracking small jokes, but not murder. It didn't seem to fit.

Vicente was not the creature who killed my family. Vicente is my brother who likes to constantly tease me.

"I see." he said placing a hand over his mouth and looking off to the side. I eyed him skeptically for a moment awaiting him to say more. He risked a quick glance at me and then looked away. Vicente's posture quickly straightened and a small lackadaisical smile crept across his face.

"I'm sorry sister, I don't mean to be babbling on like a fool." he paused and nervously rubbed the back of his neck. "You see it's that time of the week again and I need to, well, feed." I pursed my lips, still not fully buying his 'I'm hungry' alibi. But still, how should I know how hungry vampires act? I have yet to see the symptoms but am all too familiar with the _aftermath_ of their feeding.

"Oh, of course brother." I started and for the first time taking note of how much more gaunt his face did look this evening. "You had me worried." He nodded and I watched as the Adams apple in his throat dipped slightly.

Either he's gulping or is really thirsty.

"I wont keep you then." I said turning on my heal to head out of the door.

"Yes, yes I should be going…then, now." I turned, glancing at him from over my shoulder and smiled. "Vicente your babbling on like a fool. Go and sate yourself." He gave a nervous laugh and reached for a cloak that had been draped over his chair.

I just realized it was there. _"Has he been out tonight already? No good…erm, bites?"_

"I'll see you in the morning then." he started as he threw the cloak over his shoulders. "Goodnight Servera." I turned my head to reply but then it hit me, _"Servera?"_ I turned back to face Vicente only to see his wooden doors quickly close in front of me.

However, I did get a glimpse of him and saw how wide his crimson eyes had just become.

xxxx

Antoinetta Marie is my sister. Therefore, I cannot kill her. But when you awake from a wonderful dream to an over enthusiastic Breton bearing down upon you, you begin to question your loyalty to your kin. Thus learning a very important lesson; restraint.

Because to be quite frank, I wanted to strangle her.

"Oi Nerah! Wake up you crazed Imperial." She exclaimed shaking me violently. "You need to get yourself out of bed. Your needed in-" Before she could finish disturbing me further I ripped the pillow out from under my head and placed it over my face, simultaneously turning away from her.

"Leave me Antoinetta, I haven't slept this good in days." I heard her cluck he tongue and new that this battle was far from over.

If I had a bay leaf I'd throw it at her.

"As much as I would love to allow you to catch up on your beauty sleep, I cant." Growling lowly into my pillow, I decided that the best way to get her to listen to me is to speak clearly. Like I had to do up in Bruma with the Nord's.

"Go. Away. Antoinetta." I said, stressing every last syllable. There was a long pause and for one blissful moment I thought that maybe, just maybe, she would leave me. Sadly I was mistaken as I felt the blankets being torn from my body.

It's not nice to have my limbs exposed to the cold air in the morning.

"Lucien is here, he wants to see you. Do not make me carry you to him, you know I will." Regardless of whether or not I was sleepy and still in my nightshirt, I quickly jumped out of bed. "What? Why didn't you just say so?"

I quickly reached into my chest and pulled out a pair of black pants, slipping them on with haste. I know better now than to keep Lucien waiting and with my recent contract completed, I would much like to gloat. "Nerah I did attempt to tell you, you didn't want to listen."

I rolled my eyes. Of course I didn't want to listen, it's Antoinetta; my annoying sister. Tucking in my nightshirt, I decided that there was really no need to prepare myself any further so I quickly rounded past Antoinetta to our bedroom door.

"Did he say what he wanted at all?" I asked waving briefly to Teinaava as I passed. "Yes, he did. You'll find out soon enough though. I reckon he's in Vicente's room by now." I nodded thinking briefly of my odd encounter with Vicente last night.

"_Hope he found a suitable supper." _

Antoinetta followed me all the way back to Vicente's room like a lost puppy. I could almost feel her breath on the back of my neck, she was so close. I loath people who do not value personal space, still, I bit my tongue and decided to let it slide. Whenever Lucien is around everyone does seem to be slightly jumpy.

xxxx

When we reached our destination I looked toward Antoinetta with my brow raised. "You coming in with me?" I asked rather snobbishly. I couldn't help myself, simply roaming the halls with her is a nightmare.

"Huh? Oh, no. I'm afraid not." She replied with a slightly distant look upon her face.

Or perhaps the look was a dreamy one, I'm not so sure.

"How come you followed me then?" I kept my tone as even as possible but her vacant expression was slightly distracting. "Lucien wanted me to fetch you sister, so I did as ordered." Pursing my lips I nodded slowly. "I'm perfectly capable of making it to one end of the Sanctuary to the other sister. As you may well know."

For a brief moment I thought I saw her blush as she looked toward Vicente's door. "Yes I know." she fidgeted slightly and then gave me a small smile and left the hallway. I couldn't help but to snicker as she did so, obviously she likes Lucien. I'm not sure what kind of creepy couple they would make, it would be a very strange relationship to say the least.

Shrugging, I gave Vicente's door my signature, punching-knock, and made my way in. No sooner had I stepped foot into his quarters though did my smile fall from my face. Repressing a shudder I looked to the three men in the room all sitting around Vicente's table in seemingly deep conversation that ended on my arrival.

"Hello sister. We were just talking about you." Mathieu Bellamont stated happily his eyes flickering from Lucien to me. "Hello brother, Speaker, and…brother." I said while giving a lackadaisical smile. "Likewise sister. Mathieu, would you give us a moment to speak in private. I'm afraid I don't have enough chairs in my room and do not think our sister would enjoy _sharing_ a chair."

"Though I think that decision is solely up to her, I shall take my leave." Bellamont answered. Thankfully he was leaving but his remark made my eye twitch.

Once the doors had closed behind him I seriously debated on sitting in the chair he had just occupied. I settled for staying as close to the edge of the seat as possible.

Folding my hands and placing them gently on the table, I looked up to Lucien only to see that he had an expression similar to the one I had worn when I first met Bellamont, and when Bellamont first left. The; 'Ew, that _thing_ was here.' and 'Thank the deities that _thing_ is gone.'

I quirked my brow at the Speaker and waited patently for him to…well, start speaking.

As quickly as his expressions of utmost disgust had appeared they vanished once he looked to me. "Well miss Vlando, it seems your progress within the Brotherhood thus far, has been most agreeable." I gave a small nod, _"Someone's straight to the point this morning,"_ he then gestured to the small black bag on the table.

"Your pay," he began simply, while placing another small box on the furniture before me. "and your bonus."

For a moment I just stared dumbfounded at the two of them.

"I'm getting paid?!"


	16. Out Again

Authors Notes: Ack with the long waits! I wanted to put this up before turkey day… So it's a bit rough (seeing as it was rushed) Now It never really sat well with me. The whole, 'killing for pleasure' bit, but I wanted it cleared up that yes, Nerah does like to kill because…well, she's just sick and wrong XD. And she's a perv :X but ohswell.

* * *

Envy

Chapter fifteen: Out Again

Vicente began to chuckle lightly at my still shocked expression. Apparently he and Lucien had found it highly amusing that I had no idea of the benefits one gets for killing innocents. Money and shiny stuff, it_ completely_ compensates for murdering in cold blood…What _do_ they take me for?…

Ah well, ignorance is bliss.

"You have not yet told her about payment Executioner?" Lucien asked, slowly rounding on the chortling Breton. "Shirking your duties?"

Vicente looked up, laughter still dancing in his eyes. "I assure you Speaker, I could have sworn I told her that she was getting paid for carrying out the will of Sithis." Shaking his head Lucien turned to me once again.

"Well miss Vlando, as you have been denied proper information on the Dark Brotherhoods payment methods, allow me to educate you."

Lucien cleared his throat. I watched him carefully wondering if this was going to be a long drawn out speech. Because if so I think I'll pass, take my money and that _oh so _tempting box and be on my way.

"When you become a family member not only are you to killing for pleasure and the glory of our Dread Father, but, profit as well." At this, I quirked my brow and quickly shook my head.

"Speaker, with all due respect," I stressed. Certainly not wanting to offend him in anyway. "the thought of killing for pleasure is _sick_. I just do as I'm told." I concluded with a shrug.

Crossing his arms in what I thought was a rather childish way, Lucien peered at me intently from beneath his hood; a sign for me to go on. Naturally I did. "When I first became a family member it was only because you promised me safety. That, and a good healthy amount of curiosity of course."

Vicente pursed his lips but neither of them spoke, so I continued…obviously I would. "Granted, I'm quite happy where I am now and am glad that I did choose to take you up on your offer Speaker, but never had I yet killed out of pleasure. Merely for the…_satisfaction_ of a job well done."

For a moment all was silent. I watched as Lucien's eyes narrowed, a smirk twisting its way along his lips. "Bravo, my dear." Lucien replied mockingly. "That was a very well thought out speech, even if a bit short on your terms. But more to the point, don't try to justify what you do as simply 'satisfactory'. Know who you are and what you do. Your not fooling anyone, not even yourself."

His smile grew as I could feel my jaw set in place out of anger. I loath it when people attempt to tell me about myself, as if I never knew my eyes were blue. Honestly…

"You are most certainly one who finds an art in death. You appreciate the beauty of it all but for some unfathomable reason are ashamed. Do you think yourself a bad person for killing?"

My hands fastened into painful fists, knuckles surely turning white as I glowered at the man before me. Trying my best to keep composed and fake the look of innocence when in reality, I wanted to lock him in his house and set it on fire. To hear his pitiful screams and pleas for help and mercy wring through the cool night air as I laugh…

"Because if you do," Lucien continued, "Than your cor-"

No longer could I help myself. A brat through and through I'm afraid. "Correct? Of course that's correct! I know damn well that I'm a bad person for killing people. Frankly, I could care less! But _apparently_ I'm a bad actress too, seeing as no longer can I remain composed and silent as you find joy rubbing my nose in it."

Was I done there, you ask? Sadly no. Half of me couldn't believe I was losing control of myself like this, but that damn grating smile of his was enough to drive anyone mad! At least I wasn't screaming. But for Sithis sake, I'm beginning to see why Bellamont is cracked!

"Am I ashamed for what I do? No, no certainly not. But I try to conceal it because its…strange. I know what a monster I am but I like it! I love what I do, and want to do it more! Its beautiful, perfect! But why should I share my joy with the world? I've shared enough, this my life, _mine_. I intend to get exactly what I want _when_ I want it, and see no reason in sharing my happiness with anyone but myself!"

They must have thought I went mad. I never shouted really, just sat there and spoke sharply with my teeth clenched and palms bleeding. Yes, definitely mad, but thankfully Vicente decided to break the stifling silent's.

"Well then, now that that's all cleared up," he turned to the, somewhat-angry-somewhat-amused Lucien and offered a small smile. "I think after that little episode, its safe to say that Nerah may have some Dunmer heritage. Telvanni, perhaps?"

xxxx

The silence remained. As Vicente laughed at his own joke, Lucien was glaring daggers at me but was still smiling. The most black and white sign of danger: evil smile, evil assassin, laughing vampire.

How did I end up here?

"Um…" Strangely enough, I really didn't think sorry was going to cut it, but what could I say? So thinking on my toes I decided to change the topic. "Err, what's um…that?" I asked pointing towards the small box.

They both looked to what I was pointing at, almost as if they to were playing along with my oh so stealthy way of changing the subject.

"Your bonus." Answered Vicente, flashing me a knowing smile. "Would you like to see it?" I briskly nodded and watched greedily as he pushed it out in front of me. Before I could even reach up to take it however, Lucien took it and opened it first.

"_Opening my things?! The gull of that man…" _

He easily flicked the top of the box's cover off and pulled out what was inside. He held it gently. Whatever it was, was long and wrapped in dark cloth.

"Correction brother. It _was_ her bonus." Lucien said as he pulled back the cloth, giving me an arrogant smile once he saw my new 'what?!' expression.

I heard myself gasp at what he held before me, _tauntingly_. It was a smooth looking dagger. Its blade slightly curved and its handle made of presumably gold. The lighting of Vicente's room made the weapon wink at me in the most tantalizing way. I caught its odd shine however; it was red and menacing.

I'm no Archmage, but I know destruction magic when I see it.

"But, was?" I whimpered, as he delicately handled the blade, _my_ blade.

"Yes," Lucien began simply, "Was. In order for you to get this back, you must earn it. Pity. Even though you do not yet use daggers I'm sure you would have found its enchantment rather amusing, in due time."

Swallowing hard I nodded. Punish the child by taking away her toys. I should have known he would sink to such levels for his own quiet vengeance.

"For your little out burst, I'm sending you on contract." I suppressed a groan, having just getting back from Bruma only about twenty four hours ago, one could say I was not looking forward to it. "Immediate effect actually." he continued as he placed the dagger back down on the table. Which was a good. Lucien with a knife is a very unsettling thing…

"We are currently having a small problem down by the Imperial city. A fellow assassin failed to kill his mark, now the target is on the run, hiding somewhere on the cities isle." I nodded again, curiosity coming into play with my disappointment. This new endeavor was sounding interesting, that I would admit.

Because strangely enough, Man-Hunt was one of my favorite games as a child.

The makings of an assassin. Even at the age of six I was unknowingly perfecting my search and destroy skills. Ah destiny is a funny thing.

"The targets name is Aland Tyrees. He is a Redguard, and a well known healer, thus how he escaped from Verick. But I will not go any further into detail, M'raaj-Dar can fill in the blanks for you." I winced, _"I'd find Schemer's information more reliable than that infuriating fluff wad's."_

"Why him Speaker?" I asked, the question genuine.

"Well, under the circumstance, I see no one more suitable than him to ask. This is his mission that you will be helping him along with after all." My face contorted into utmost horror. Going on a mission with M'raaj-Dar was an appalling situation.

"But why must I go with him? Surely he can handle this on his own, is it really necessary that I accompany _him_? Isn't their anything, _anyone_ else I could help you with?" Lucien pursed his lips for a moment, thinking on the other family members and their contracts.

I was literally on the edge of my seat from the hope and anticipation. "No." he said simply. Making my face once again fall. "Oh, well, there is always Mathieu. He does have a rather difficult assignment to carry out now that you mention it."

My stomach lurched and I frantically shook my head. "Oh no that wont be…where um is my wonderful Khajiit brother? We really should spend more time together. I think this could be a wonderful opportunity to…err, get closer?"

xxxx

"WHAT?!" M'raaj-Dar snapped, quickly turning away from the mounted target which he had just been casting spells upon.

To some, the Khajiit assassin with destruction magic still crackling at his fingertips would be thought of as threatening. I knew better, the tenets prevented him from harming me so his little attitude only struck me as annoying. Though I will openly admit that interrupting his training session with such wonderful news may not have been the brightest idea.

We assassin are like children. We need to train, kill, and play to exert our energy. Otherwise we tend to get rather formidable.

Cranky murders are not a gentle bunch.

"You heard me." I stated flatly as I further relaxed onto the wall that I had been leaning against. "You and me are going off to kill things. Smashing!…literally."

"This is an outrage! How can you find amusement in this? We're at an understanding, we don't like each other. Now we are to travel together and work together-"

I sighed and uncrossed my arms. "Yes, yes no need to monologue. This trip is gonna suck, I'm sure we'll both get over it." He gave a dry laugh, ears still flat to his head. "I have been preparing for this contract ever since it had been given to me, _cub_. I am ready, you are not. You will slow me down and ruin-"

I put my hands up defensively, "Whoa now. First of all, please stop _monologing_. I have a bad enough headache as it is, your just making it worse. Secondly, your making it sound like I want to go with you. _Do_ you really think I wanted this?"

I stopped and sighed, placing my still throbbing hand to my now throbbing forehead. "Look, I wont get in your way. I'll help if needed. We don't even have to talk unless necessary."

He still didn't speak and his scowl remained but at least the fur on his back was going down. Good thing too, he looked like a damn poof-poof with it all on end like that. Hardly threatening.

"There is know doubt in my mind that this will be a long trip. But lets not make it any more worse by bickering like old Altmers."

He snorted and crossed his arms. "Fine. But don't even think about trying to bond on this trip. We will go as we are and come back the same."

Khajiit's have always confused me with the way they talk. Deep gravely voices in quick clipped tones. Not to mention the way they tend to talk in riddles and say things backwards. "Err yep." Was the only way I could respond.

'_We will go as we are and come back the same.' _How the hell else are we supposed to come back? Different, with tentacles?

Pft, Khajiit's…

"Go and get your things ready cub, and sleep well too. I cant have you dying from exhaustion on our way to the stables."

I nodded while rolling my eyes and left the training room. Even though it was still early, I was suddenly very tired. Mental stress wipes me right out. I ruffled my hair as I walked into the living quarters. Wondering briefly why it always seemed to be empty when I felt the need for companionship the most. But in a sense it was a good thing, I could take advantage of the empty kitchen.

Because when life gets you down, you eat, until its on the verge of coming back up. Then you sleep, and dream of eating more.

xxxx

I was half way through my third bowl of rice…or butter rather, my rice is kind of swimming…When a certain dark robed man entered the room, muttering incoherently under his breath.

At first I thought it was Lucien and was even tempted to great him to show no hard feelings, but upon hearing the voice, I knew it was most certainly not my Speaker but Bellamont. He hadn't noticed me though and was beginning to talk to himself rather feverishly.

I held back giggles. I always found crazy people amusing, Bellamont more so. My inner laughter immediately vanished however, as I watched him begin to _disrobe_…don't get me wrong, I'm always in the mood for a free show but _Bellamont?!_

And why in the living quarters? Go to the men's room for Mara's sake!

Making a rather distinct, but completely involuntary squeak, I jumped to my feet dropping the bowl onto the floor. Thankfully it was pewter, so nothing smashed. wouldn't want to have pick up shards, having to clean up my rice soup concoction is bad enough.

Er, moving on.

Bellamont spun around to face me. His robes were open but _thankfully_ he wore clothes underneath them. Which was a very good thing indeed, almost suffered from cardiac arrest.

I quickly noticed though that his hand had not left the hilt of his short sword. "Nerah," he hissed, eyes darting across my facial features, "what are you doing?" I blinked, putting my hands up defensively as I stood. "I _live_ here brother."

For a moment he just watched me, studying me. It was rather annoying so I turned away from him and grabbed a dishrag, I had butter soup to clean up…

"Of-of course." he stammered. I looked over at him quizzically from my shoulder, now crouched on the floor. _"He talks to himself, stutters and stares. Probably best that I don't keep my back to him." _With that thought, I turned and began to clean up my mess.

"I didn't realize I was being watched." Mathieu continued, to my utter annoyance. "By the way, is there any reason why you've been spying on me?"

Choking on my own _spit _I coughed and looked up at him dumbfounded. "What?"

Me spying on him? We spoke to each other, what, twice? He gave me a quirky smile. "No need to be bashful, _dear_ sister. You have been following me around since my arrival." I gave a disbelieving laugh and abruptly stood from the floor, abandoning any attempts to continue cleaning.

"We shared the same destination, both going to see Vicente. Hardly stalk-ish intent, I assure you." despite my best efforts his smile still remained. Obviously my logic didn't convince him.

I'm not sure if I should find this more amusing or annoying. Must have one hell of an ego, me walking next to you doesn't mean I'm following you. He must think _so_ highly of himself. I wish ego's were tangible, I would grab it and beat him with it.

Death by ego. A demeaning way to go.

"Right." he continued, stepping closer. I would have stepped back, not out of fear but repulsion mind you, but I didn't want to risk slipping and falling on my ass in his presence. "But while I have you here, may I offer a bit of advice?" I quirked my brow.

Mathieu Bellamont is a strange unit. He has a creepy smile, with creepy crooked teeth and a creepy voice from which he only speaks creepy words. First, he thinks I'm following him. Me, Nerah Vlando follow Bellamont? Ha. Ha. Ha. Now he has worse mood swings than Antoinetta. He goes from leering all obsessively at you to sudden strange compassion.

Very confusing.

So, not seeing a reason or really knowing how to respond to his demeanor, I just nodded for him to go on.

"You seem to be…rather outspoken toward our Speaker. From what I hear, your being sent on a contract with M'raaj-Dar as punishment for disobedience. He is of higher rank than you, therefore, gets more difficult assignments. This contract could be dangerous."

His voice trailed off slightly as he looked to the side. I would have disregarded his comment but his tone of voice struck me as odd.

And now that he mentions it, I am new here. Seems a bit dangerous for me to go run off unskilled and unprepared. My mouth had suddenly gone dry. I didn't think about that until now; members of higher ranks are more at risk. Lucien said this man was a very skilled healer, perhaps he is just as skilled in other magical categories as well…

"I find it unfair really. You are so new here after all. Making someone like myself or Teinaava go off for slight insubordination is understandable, but you?" He shook his head. I could feel the color draining in my face. Bellamont was right, Lucien must be trying to get me killed.

"I do not doubt in your abilities sister, but I do fear for your safety." Mathieu looked at me intently. "I'm afraid our Speaker does not really know how to value life. That is his flaw. I tell you this not to scare you, or make you think lesser of him, but to warn you. Watch yourself. We assassin's even know that every life, every family member, is precious."

I swallowed hard numbly nodding. Maybe it was my headache, but I found myself actually listening to Mathieu. Strange enough, he spoke sense. Even if we kill we know how to value life. Lucien never really struck me as a recluse, but he doesn't seem to care either.

Not only that, but he doesn't even respect the dead. The night Lucien had recruited me, he gave me Cagmy, his contracts dead horse. Then presumably turned his targets face into unrecognizable pulp. Now correct me if I'm wrong but that shows signs of a maniac. A maniac who is sending his newest sister to the slaughter without a weapon.

He looked me over again briefly and sighed. "This sanctuary has lost far to many members from carelessness. Do be careful, we have still not recovered from our last loss."

I blinked and watched him walk away. _"Last loss?"_ Someone had recently died in this sanctuary and no one had told me? I find that rather strange, its like there trying to hide something from me.

Maybe if I can survive this contract with M'raaj-Dar, I can get some information out of him as well. One never knows. He seems to be the one to talk about depressing topics with. People with little emotion tend not to care when discussing tender matters…

* * *

Authors Notes: Well I did say twists and turns. Cant have the same quests and stuff over and over again now can we ;) R+R would be lovely :D


	17. Bloody Baptism

Authors Notes: I'm a mean person, I've been withholding this chapter for a couple days now.. -.-; But yay! My longest Envy chapter ever! (Reviews for appreciation would be nice) XD Well, yeah. Here's the new chapter, hope you like it! Thanks readers, and reviewers especially. I like to know what people think of my random writings.

Oh. **M** rating for this chapter. Not really violent but a bit bloody…hence the title. ;)

* * *

Envy

Chapter sixteen: Bloody Baptism

_"Get. Up. Cub_! Lazy, good for nothing, _Imperial_…" You know…I have always hated wake up calls, this one more so. Not just because of the insult, but because of the emphasis on 'cub'. M'raaj-Dar needs some new material. And speaking of which, what the hell is he doing in the _woman's_ quarters anyway?

Don't tell me, he is a woman in disguise.

Looks like I cant call him kitty-man anymore. But he should really come out all ready, its bad to keep secrets like that bottled up.

"Sister if you do not get your lazy hide out of that bed I _swear_ I'll be breaking the tenets!"

"Bloody hell you stupid cat! Give me a second!" Call me racist if you like, but over the years I learned to except that. Because yes, I am racist, but race doesn't matter, I just hate everyone and everything.

Angrily I pulled the covers off and jumped out of my bed. One thing I will never learn to enjoy is the stone floors of our sanctuary. They never get warm and if my feet could talk they would be screaming from the cold.

"See? I'm up! Happy? Now what the hell are you doing in our room? When did you get permission to waltz in here whenever you like? I could have been naked for all you know!" I snapped, placing both hands firmly on my hips.

"If that were the case, I would be blind! Disgusting…And for your information, _sister_, our Speaker gave me permission to wake you. He said it took nearly fifteen minutes for him to get you to come around the night he recruited you. I don't have fifteen minutes to spare."

I grunted, turning my back to him and grabbing my boots. Frankly I wasn't looking forward to suiting up again at some unholy hour to trail a angry Khajiit all around Cyrodiil, but work is work. "Fine. Well, go away and let me get dressed. Lest you wish to 'go blind' I could care less."

Thankfully that got him to leave. I guess not everyone cares for a naked Nerah…the sign of an apocalypse.

xxxx

Finally back in my armor, I set out to look for my fluffy _chaperone_. Gods only know how worried he would be if I got lost in the Sanctuary.

Pushing open the living quarter doors, I heard what I thought was arguing. "I don't have time Vicente! Cant this wait until we get back? She is already running me late as it is." Sure enough I saw M'raaj-Dar and Vicente talking. Heated discussion over me obviously, but no actual arguing.

"I'm afraid it cannot wait brother. Don't worry, I wont keep her long. Just a quick word, I assure you." They both turned to me, as if just realizing that I had entered the room. For a moment all was silent so I looked toward Vicente, curious to what this was all about. I noticed the look in his eyes though when they met mine.

I was in trouble.

Don't get me wrong, he's not angry, just very serious. Stern. The kind of look you get after you parent just had a long talk with your teacher. Or in this case, the look you get when your Executioner had a long talk with your Speaker.

Uh-oh.

"Fine." M'raaj-Dar hissed as he shot me a rather agitated look. Which, I returned. "Meet me in the backyard cub. Make it quick."

He haughtily turned on his heel and went to the opposite end of the room. I listened intently to the sound of his boots hitting the metal rungs of the well latter as he left. Vicente, doing the same as he didn't speak until we both heard the gate above us shut.

Vicente then turned to me, his expression no different then before. "I am rather disappointed in you Nerah."

Ah. I struck gold, I knew there was something up. So what is it exactly that I did wrong?…this time?

"I thought that you would have known better by now then to speak out to Lucien in such a way." he shook his head as my face fell.

"That's it? That's all that's wrong?" I asked in somewhat disbelieve. I wasn't sure whether I should be relieved or disappointed.

Haven't been bad enough for Dark Brotherhood standards yet.

"All?" Vicente repeated, brows knitting together. "Are you aware of the consequences one gets for even slight insubordination of our Brotherhood?" Gulping, I shook my head. Apparently I struck a nerve. "We do not stand for treason. Even if it's something silly like raising your voice to your superior, or speaking out of turn."

I blinked, slightly startled by the seriousness in Vicente's voice. "The Dark Brotherhood is strict and made of rules, Nerah. To which we all must abide by. That is why we have flourished and stayed hidden for all these years. Its not the rule that you broke, but the principal of it," he stopped and gave a raspy sigh.

To be honest I felt sleepy. Not because I was bored, but I always feel tired when I'm…ashamed. It's like my inner workings try to cover up my embarrassment with yawns and heavy lidded eyes. Usually, well, it never works.

"And," he continued, bringing me back to reality. "my value for your safety. You do not realize how lenient Lucien was on your punishment, it could have been much worse than sending you out on a mildly dangerous contract."

With that, I felt the blush rise in my neck. _"He values my safety?" _I barley registered the rest of what Vicente had said. I was far to busy acting my age and staring almost dreamily up at him. Sure, I knew he had to care about me to an extent, but to hear him actually say it…

Yeah, it makes me happy.

"_That smile, the hair, accent, the lithe like grace he's mastered and yet can still be purposeful and powerful. _How_ does he do it?" _

Mistaking my slightly glazed over eyes and fixated gaze as serious humiliation, Vicente paced a hand on my shoulder as an act of compassion.

Funny. I wonder if he secretly knows he's just feeding my fire, and, increasing my risk of drooling.

"Just do me a favor will you?" he started, "Be careful. Watch yourself, you don't need to be on contract to be at risk." Even though I was still off in Nerah la-la-land, I got the message. But what really brought me to nod was how his grip on my shoulder tightened as he spoke.

That message to, 'watch myself' runs deeper than what it seems, that much I know he is trying to get across. But why? Is the question. Besides making sure I don't run my mouth to Lucien or get my head chopped off while hunting, what am I to watch out for?

We are all family, are we not?

xxxx

"M'raaj-Dar, if that mutant horse of yours touches Cagmy one more time, I swear, I'll kill it!"

We had been going at it for hours now. No exaggeration. We left the Sanctuary at dusk and its now almost dawn. The only good thing about this trip is that the farther south we go the warmer it becomes. Thankfully it wasn't snowing, but its still damn cold and that Chestnut horse M'raaj-Dar has as a mount is giving me the creeps.

It's a very weird creature, with a lazy eye and buck teeth. All horses have big teeth but this poor thing had been cursed.

Still, I didn't like how it kept nudging Cagmy. To close for comfort. Whether or not Cagmy thinks so remains to be seen.

"Shut your mouth would you? By Sithis, your voice is giving me a headache!" he snapped casting me a death glare, one that I had become used to by now.

After seeing the same expression on someone's face for hours you build up an immunity to it.

That, and I was getting what little entertainment I could by annoying him. The Khajiit's Eye of Fear power has got nothing on me. Especially not when I'm in, annoy-the-cat mode.

"A headache now brother?" I teased, "Why just a few miles ago you were complaining of a stomach ache. My, my, my, your falling apart now aren't you?"

He shot me another one of those looks out of the corner of his eye and scoffed. "Notice that all my troubles are caused by you: your voice makes my ears wring and the looks of you makes my stomach turn."

I clucked my tongue, tugging on Cagmy's reins to pick up the pace so I was eye-to-eye with M'raaj-Dar. "I make you sick? Have you looked in a mirror recently?" I gave a small laugh, I love it when people get into insults, I'm famous for the verbal abuse I use. Back in Chorrol, I would be dragged down to the priory by my stepmother many times because of it.

She didn't think the Chapel was good enough, I used to have to talk to some old guy named Jaufree. Don't know why, I guess he was friends with my stepmother and was a monk, devoted to Akatosh or Arkay.

Eh, I cant remember what Aedra he worshipped exactly. I never really paid attention in my lessons.

One thing I do remember though is that each time I went to see him he seemed to have less and less hair.

Some people can pull of the bald look well, Jaufree wasn't one of those people. The last time we 'had a talk' he abandoned trying to cover up his bald spot and just shaved the top of his head. Trying to pull the, oh I'm a monk! Look.

He still failed miserably…

"You want to have a row?" I asked with a smile. To my disappointment, all he did was huff and steer his deranged horse ahead of me, muttering under his breath as he passed.

Ah what a big man…er Khajiit. Being the one to end the discussion before it turns violent. Because it surely would. When words fail fists are better.

xxxx

By the time we finally got to the Imperial City it was Loredas. _Late_ Loredas. Which means it took a day and a half to get here. But that's not the best news. It turns out that we're not entering the city, we have to camp in the woods on its isle!

I'm stuck camping with a damn milk deprived kitten, out in the middle of winter, right outside of a warm city. But not just any warm city but _the_ city that hold _the_ best merchandise! All that stuff is just calling to me!

Figures, when I actually have money to spend I cant spend it.

So needless to say I am not a happy camper…literally.

Groaning rather loudly I pulled the last saddle bag off of Cagmy and flopped to the ground. I didn't want to unpack, because really I had brought nothing to unpack. I wasn't expecting a damn camping trip.

Looking over to M'raaj-Dar, I watched him put the last touches up on his tent. He seemed to be perfectly fine with our mission. I for one think its silly. Who ever heard of two assassins roasting marshmallows when their supposed to be scoping out the place?

I mean what the hell are we doing camping in the area our target is supposed to be in? Shouldn't we, I don't know, go hunting?!

"Tell me why again." I said through gritted teeth as I went through my bag, tossing a rather nice corset aside. _"Yeah, that's useful in the wilderness." _

"Why, what?" he asked with his back still turned to me. "Why you are so annoying cub? Hard to tell."

I stood, seeing as I had absolutely nothing in my enchanted bag that would help, and gave a dry laugh. "Ha. ha. Funny, you're a comedian. But seriously-"

"Seriously, stop complaining!" he growled turning to me. He caught me off guard though, so on instinct I jumped. Instinct, there's no way I'm afraid of a bitchy Khajiit. "You were the one who told me that your weren't going to get in my way, yet hear you are constantly whining!"

I blinked. I was not whining, just complaining in a high pitched tone of voice. "Do us both a favor and shut up! Is it that hard for you to comprehend? Sweet Mother your useless!" He took a moment to catch his breath, but the verbal abuse didn't stop there.

Pity it didn't though, Khajiit voices really grate on my nerves.

"I've explained it to you a thousand times already. We are luring our target here!" he hissed in a low tone. "He wont leave the isle for fear of being hunted. If we lay low and pretend we're nothing but to thief's on the run, he will come by in a few days. He is a frightened old man and is already watching us as we speak! We act like thieves and soon he will think we are them."

I pouted. "Fine. No reason to be so uptight about it though." crossing my arms I gazed around at the wooded area we were hiding at and asked in a lower voice. "By the way, if you already know that he is watching us then why don't we just go hunt him down?"

M'raaj-Dar's scowl began to grow again but I ignored it. "call me fickle, but this seems stupid. Just shoot him with an arrow or something!"

He looked as though he was going to comment, but instead he sighed and sat by the unlit fire pit. "You know nothings of the shadows sister." he inhaled sharply, and I watched as flames began to take form in the pit. Dry wood already crackling. It was a pretty good trick. I only know how to summon fire by the old incantations. Then again I'm not a trained mage assassin.

"I honestly don't know what our Speaker see's in you." he paused looking me over in disgust. "Other than a possible young mate. Imperial men do have strange tastes."

"Ew." I uninterestingly commented with a shrug as I took the spot across from him. "If that's the case, he can keep dreaming. I'm not into psycho paths." I held up my hands to the fire and began to warm them. Fire is always so beautiful and dangerous.

Tempting too, I always want to touch it even though…wait, is M'raaj-Dar laughing?

"What's so funny?" I asked gazing through the flames in attempt to make out his features.

"You,"

"How am I funny?" other than my obvious sarcasm, of course.

"Your not into psychopaths." he continued with another raspy laugh, "Doesn't mean the psychopaths are not into you. You realize that he is your Speaker, Superior, _Master_, correct?"

I felt the blush rise again in my neck. The thought of Lucien taking advantage of power like that is, erm, disturbing. I know he's a power hungry sadist but he doesn't really strike me as a rapist. I mean, he's a good looking guy, surely he could get a willing and better looking girl than me.

Not that I'm ugly! Gods no! But someone more in his age area seems appropriate, wouldn't he want someone more _experienced_?

Wait, I am experienced…shit.

So sure, I'm young, had my own share of good times, and _great_ looking, but…shit!…again!

"Just because he is my master doesn't make me his mistress. Besides, Lucien doesn't seem to be the type of guy who would need to sink to such levels just to get laid." I concluded with another shrug.

"True." he said scratching his chest. "But that's not the point. Sure Lucien can _get _someone, but its not about having them, its abstract control over them. Why else would one want to be a Speaker?"

I watched him smile and wondered briefly if what he said was true or just made to make me think of Lucien as a creep and get myself into trouble again.

Because when you think someone's got their mind set on bedding you, you don't usually act natural around them, especially if the feelings isn't reciprocated, and may just speak out. Thus get into trouble and sent on a dangerous assignment. Or worse, according to Vicente.

"Shits and giggles? Now even though this discussion is very interesting and all," I said faking a yawn. "You seem to know a lot of intimate knowledge about Lucien, brother. You fancy him? Is that what this is all about? I'll talk to him for you if you like."

Not finding as much amusement in my comment as I did, M'raaj-Dar swore and briskly stood, stomping over to his tent. "Hey!" I called after him, holding back a laugh, "Wait a second! Where do I sleep?"

"Away from me!" he growled over his shoulder and disappeared into the small shelter.

"Wha…ass face!" I shouted in his direction, but this time I knew insults wouldn't do me any good. Whether or not my words actually stung him didn't matter, because he is warm and snug, I am not.

Nope. Now I'm cold, alone, disturbed, and being eyed by his demented horse.

Best fetching trip ever.

xxxx

I couldn't sleep, I've been laying here by the fire for hours now. Usually I wouldn't complain, enchanting the flames and making them dance before you is fun but it does get boring after awhile.

Giving my rucksack another punch, in a failed attempt to make it more pillow like, I sighed. My thoughts had mainly revolved around The Dark Brotherhood and its odd politics. The way I see it, M'raaj-Dar only said those things about Lucien to make my night a living hell, which he succeeded.

Furry bastard.

But anyway, all that teasing did give me some information. Speakers do have absolute control over their assassins. Which leads me back to Vicente's warning. _"You do not realize how lenient Lucien was on your punishment, it could have been much worse," _

How far can a Speaker go before they break a tenet? I used to think that the Wrath of Sithis was the only form of punishment in the Brotherhood. Now come to find out that the family man can punish you to. Is he even bound by the tenets?

That's something I'll have to ask back at the sanctuary…

Off in the distance, I heard a twig snap. My body froze and my hand slowly reached into my rucksack for my cord. The entire night there was no sound until now, best to be cautious.

Sure enough there came another loud crack of someone stepping on fallen foliage. I sat up, and looked around. My eyes had become so adjusted to the darkness by now that I could easily make out the approaching figure.

"I-I mean you no harm." whispered the rather ragged man as he took another sluggish step forward.

It had to be him, it had to be our target. He was so weary looking, his mage robes in tatters and stained. In his face dark circles had been etched under his glassy eyes. "Please, help-trust me." The Redgaurd put his hands up to show his words were true.

"What happened to you?" I asked standing, trying my best to fake concern. It was obvious by the way he was trying to win my trust that he was scared and hurt. That, and the rather large bloody gash across his chest that I'm trying my best to keep from looking at…

He immediately loosened upon seeing that I was allowing him closer.

In all honesty I was encouraging it. Hell, I'm tired! Lets get this over with and go home.

"I've been…lost for sometime." he said going pale. Apparently he's not the best liar of Cyrodiil but that will just make this easier.

"Sir, your hurt." I said pointing to the deep cut across his chest. He nodded, "It was a wound made by an enchanted blade. It wont heal with just magic."

I ushered him over to the fire, "Well, maybe I can help?" I kept my voice as sweet as honey, "But please, do keep your voice down. My friend is sleeping in that tent there."

Of course I don't want him to wake M'raaj-Dar. I saw him first, so he's now my kill. Plus, I think I can handle an injured mage on my own. After all, I'm just a friendly little teenage girl who only wants to make him all better.

The red guard glanced over to the tent and back to me. "So I've gathered." he gave a nervous smile and sat down by the fire next to me. That's when my 'how to kill' idea struck.

With my back turned to him I picked up my bag; positioning the leather cord at its opening for quick access. "You said you were lost?" I asked turning back to him.

"Yes. Well, I guess you could say I'm on the run." he continued sheepishly. "I'm not wanted by the Legion or anything, I swear! I just, I had to get away-"

I shook my head and smiled. "No need to plead your case to us. Were nothing but a couple rogues. Your business is your own." Rogues. I amaze myself sometimes. No, for once I'm not complementing myself. To be blunt, I could careless if this guy falls for my shy, shy, sugar, sweet act. So, I'm not putting much effort in it.

"You seem…awful nice to be a rouge. I was thinking you were just a runaway youth."

I gave a small laugh, moving closer to him. "Don't judge a book by its cover now eh?" I pretended to search my bag. "Hmm. I don't have any good potions, but lets have a look at your wound anyway. I know a little restoration that may help."

As he unfastened his robes and revealed his chest I could immediately tell that his injury was done by skilled hands. The cut itself was still a bit fresh and I had to look away to keep back the nausea.

Regardless, I put my hands against his torso. "This may sting a little." I said with a smile. "Why don't you just try to relax?"

He nodded and laid down so I could kneel over him. The look of contentment crossed his face as he reclined on the cool grass.

Even though I wasn't really trying, I have always been good at playing the part of a worried girl. Bat your lashes, keep your eyes wide and always have the 'you poor thing' tone of voice. Men, especially hurt ones, always fall for it. That's just because they liked to be pitied though. But then again who doesn't?

"You've don't this before?" He asked as I began to mentally mutter my favorite destruction incantation. "Yeah, you could say that."

At first, the warmth of my fire spell soothed him, he probably mistook it for a strong healing spell. That was, until I charged it, and then began to blister his skin…of course.

He yelped and sat up straight as my flaming palms pressed firmly against his skin. But just as he sat up I reached into my bag and quickly wrapped the leather cord around his neck, pressing my knee into his now charred chest, forcing him back on the ground.

I held onto coil tightly as he thrashed. It was difficult to keep a full grown man beneath you. The only reason I could was thanks to his wound and one of Vicente's lessons, where he taught me by demonstration, how to hold a target down.

A lesson I rather enjoyed, thank you very much.

What I had to do was push my entire weight on him with one knee, and keep the other on the ground for stability. It comes in handy, especially when you have no hands to spare, like now.

Suddenly he reached up and grabbed at my neck, trying to do away with me first. I couldn't help but to smile even as I felt my head go fuzzy. He didn't have the strength to crush my windpipe with one hand and because I have been killing his brain for a good thirty seconds now,

He's a goner. All I have to do is hold my breath for a few moments more.

"HEY!" I would have turned to the sound of M'raaj-Dar's voice if my head wasn't being kept in place.

I mouthed 'stay put' to him because even though it didn't look it, I had the situation under control. The Redguard was already loosing his grip on me.

But like a damn Jack in the Box, the Khajiit sprung into action. He threw me off of the target effortlessly, and pulled out a dagger from his robe pocket. "Don't!" I cried, jumping to my feet.

This was my kill dammit! And now he was going to ruin it!

I rushed over to his M'raaj-Dar's side just as he slashed at the dying man's exposed neck.

I was in the line of fire. The blood literally sprayed from the slashed artery and covered me and M'raaj-Dar.

"You crazy Imperial! You could have gotten yourself killed!" He shouted, pulling me from the line of the crimson spray, as if it mattered now. "Why didn't you wake me?! By Sithis! You-" he stopped abruptly after seeing my expression.

I felt sick, my brain was fizzing and all I cold taste was the copper tang from the blood. I was soaked, head to toe. Blood was streaking down my temples from my now wet locks of hair. What I could see of my hands, besides the crimson, was a pasty pale white; worse than usual. Then…_it_…happened.

My worst fear _ever_…I threw up…

Oh, and then fainted. But barfing is so much worse.

'Eww'…is the last thing I remembered before the blackness took me.


	18. Nostalgia

Authors Notes: O.o Sooo many reviews! XD Thank you all for them! They made me so happeh! To properly thank you, I wrote another _long_ chapter and updated a lot sooner than planned. (err, I wasn't going to post another Envy chapter until after the holidays, Christmas in my case.) -.-' But I may update again soon to, depending on what you all think of course. Oh, and yeah the title does make sense, not only to Nerah though…mwahaha. Actually, it goes for everyone who appears in this chapter…Ack, no more spoiling! :X

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Envy

Chapter seventeen: Nostalgia

"I hate you. I loathe the very thought of you. You are the most despicable creature it has ever been my misfortune to call sister."

Surprisingly enough, I have never been so happy to hear M'raaj-Dar's voice before. When coming out of fainting, you mentally grasp onto any sound, smell or feel. And right now it was his nagging voice and a warm bedroll that I was welcomed back to.

Ah bliss.

There is but one thing that is dampening my mood right now, and that's the not so pleasant taste of morning vomit in my mouth. And, that I am shirtless, which usually means something good had happened the previous evening. But because of last nights little escapade, I don't think so.

"Shush up." I groaned, rolling on my side, simultaneously pulling the blanket over my head. I could feel firm ground beneath the bed that I was lying on. So, I take it we're still in his tent, which means he didn't magically poof us back to the Sanctuary somehow.

And that stinks. I was really hoping he would.

M'raaj-Dar began to bitch at me again, but I was so far smothered into the blankets and pillow that all I could hear was his garbled voice. But the lack of air played into my sudden remembrance; my unfinished business last night.

He ruined everything. I was pissed.

"YOU!" I shouted sitting up so quickly that M'raaj-Dar pulled out his dagger on impulse. "You killed him! Asshole _you_ killed him!" He recovered quickly from the shock of my random rising from the dead and screaming. Sheathing his weapon he nodded, though still looking confused.

"Of course I killed him. Its our job to-"

"I had him first!" I snapped. My hands balled up the covers and I glared at him like I never glared at anyone before. "He was mine! The situation was under control. He would have been dead if you just left us alone, instead of coming in as the 'Super' Khajiit-"

"Correction, _dearest_ sister, _you_ would have been dead!" He retorted, and actually poked my chest as he did so to prove his point and to emphasize '_you_'…What a…words _cannot_ describe my hate for this cat!

"Your lucky I got to you in time! You were both almost dead. As soon as I grabbed you, you barfed all over yourself and fainted. Some control. I was literally left to clean up your mess."

"_Humph, I'll show you a mess." _I continued to glared at him, wanting to rip his head off. "It wasn't asphyxiation that had me fainting! It was-" Quickly I chomped down on my own tongue…painful. But too many people knew that I was squeamish. Antoinetta, Lucien, and maybe even Vicente knew. That was bad enough. The last person I wanted to know my little secret was M'raaj-Dar.

So instead of correcting him and telling him that's what happens when I see too much blood, I settled for growling.

Yes growling. His Khajiit ways are beginning to rub off on me.

"Don't growl at me you little brat." he laughed, mockingly so. "Just be happy that I cleaned you up and finished the dirty work."

It was now my turn to laugh. An evil, cold, Nerah laugh. "Oh, yeah, the _dirty_ work. Striping me down to my skivvies. Allowing me to stay in your bed." I clucked my tongue, smiling at his slowly contorting repulsed expression.

I know it's a low blow but hell its his turn to squirm. "What a caring brother you are. Tell me, did you take your time? Relish the moment? A lot of males get their jollies off of unconscious girls."

M'raaj-Dar stood, glowering down at me, his tail twitching angrily back and forth. "You're a disgusting little pervert, cub. Believe me when I say I have no interest in your Imperial hide." He looked me over again, his snout wrinkling as if the mere thought of a having a human, me mostly, repulsed him.

It makes me laugh honestly. I've never knew up until now how fun it was to talk of intimate things with someone you hate. They writhe and fidget, its no wonder he found such amusement in taunting me over Lucien the last night. I probably had an expression similar to his right now.

And It's priceless face really. His ears are so flat to his head I can barley tell he has them.

I began to laugh hysterically at him as he continued to scowl. "Just get your shit together. I want to leave, _now._" 

xxxx

After hours of endless riding, you tend to get butt cramps. Which makes me miserable. If I didn't like Cagmy so much, I would say I hate horses because of the discomfort one gets from riding them. But alas, Cagmy is the best, not to mention most normal horse I have ever seen.

Especially when compared to M'raaj-Dar's horse. I think its name is Whra-hakk. Or something else that sounds like a Khajiit hacking up a fur bal. I honestly cant help but to wonder if that's really how the pick names for things.

Think about it. M'raaj-Dar, Whra-hakk, it's the sound of someone coughing or choking.

The only Khajiit I know who had a normal name was Talasma, the owner of the Oak and Crosier in Chorrol. She was a pretty nice lady too. Always sold me beer even when my dad told her not to. I think she was just trying to get me to work for her instead of following the new 'family business' thing my dimwitted father started.

After all I did bring in all his customers. And I'm not flattering myself. It's true.

Anyway. While we were riding back home all I did was think. M'raaj-Dar is not the best conversationalist you know. Now, I tend to think a lot, but my thoughts are often revolving around one thing. Today, however, they were sporadic. I couldn't stay on one mental topic for more than five minutes.

I was still fuming over this contract and how I failed at killing the target first, but for some reason I was also thinking a lot about my family.

No, not the Dark Brotherhood family but my blood related ones.

Its not that I wanted to see them or anything, I was thinking mainly about my mom. Funny, how every time I'm to kill someone I always think of her.

To be honest, I cant really remember what she looks like now. She did die when I was only eight. Her hair was like mine; messy and everywhere, but hers was long and blond, not short and black. We shared some of the same facial features too: dark blue irises, a small beauty mark under our right eye, the high cheekbones and pointed down nose…But that's all…I think.

"Your too quiet." M'raaj-Dar randomly noted. "What is going on inside of that head?" I blinked, and looked toward him.

"Hmm? Oh, just thinking is all." He made a distinct 'humph' sound and shot me one of his looks from the corner of his eye.

"So I've gathered. No bothersome thoughts I hope. Is it regret? Do you not like partaking in assassinations?"

Laughing wearily, I shook my head. "No. Trust me on that. I think I've finally seen the light in our line of work." He nodded and for a moment all was silent again, silent as the grave…which reminds me.

"Brother," I started carefully. "Has…anyone, I don't know, _died_ recently in our sanctuary?" Immediately I knew I struck a nerve or something fairly close to it by the way he reacted. M'raaj-Dar quickly stopped his horse and stared at me, his eyes narrowing into gleaming amber slits.

"What do you mean someone _died_ in our sanctuary? Who gave you that idea?" Pursing my lips, I looked away.

I wasn't sure whether or not I should continue on with this subject because of his reaction to it. I could easily tell that this topic was an unfavorable one. Because what I know of M'raaj-Dar, he isn't one to beat around the bush like he is now. Still…I want to know, I have a right to know…don't I?

"Bellamont." I stated flatly. "He said the sanctuary has lost _too_ many members."

M'raaj-Dar blinked, his ears perked up in sudden surprise. "Bellamont told you this?…" I nodded and waited for him to continue. He didn't however and just set back to riding again.

Thankfully after a few more minutes of silence though, he did go on. _"About Spriggan time…That was some dramatic pause…"_

"I am surprised he shared such _sensitive_ information with you cub." he said in an even tone.

'Even'…shocking. He's not barking at me for once. Or should I say meowing? He is a _cat_.

"But, I'm guessing he told you this because he wants you to know, without actually telling you himself." he drawled, "He must like you. Cant imagine why."

I clucked my tongue but otherwise ignored his comment, eagerly awaiting to hear this bit of gossip.

"You see, awhile back we had another Dark Sister. Unlike you, she belonged with us and had talent. She was sent on the most difficult assignments and always came back victorious. Until…well, one day, she never came back."

"Why didn't she come back? How-" I'm not stupid. I knew that he meant she was dead, but I wanted to know _how_ exactly she died and _why_ I wasn't told this earlier. Moreover, why its being kept secret from me.

"Why, how? We don't know what happened exactly. All we know is that she's dead, and never even got to where her assignment was located. Which means, _you buffoon_, that she was murdered. And that it had nothing to do with her mission."

Further ignoring his jabbing little remarks, I stared at him blankly for a moment before speaking again. "How come no one told me this before? And what does this all have to do with Bellamont?"

M'raaj-Dar rolled his eyes, though I secretly think he was enjoying this. Its not everyday you can act like a know it all, like me.

"You ask to many questions. That is why no one wants to speak with you. But the reason this is all so important to Bellamont is quiet simple. She and Bellamont were _mates_, you see."

I felt my mouth go agape. Embarrassment rising into my face and entire being.

Back when I first met Mathieu, I thought he was a pervert…Maybe I was just reading him wrong. He's just so messed up in the head that he probably looks at everyone that way; creepy eyed. Now I at least see was Vicente and Lucien were also rather finicky with his presence. They to must feel strange around him; knowing that his girlfriend just got killed going off to do what they told her to.

Sheepishly, I looked down at the reins in my hands. All this time I thought he was a freak…

Well, he still is a freak, but he has reason to be. It must really be horrible. To lose someone you love so suddenly…

xxxx

The Sanctuary seemed so quiet upon our arrival. Even though everyone was presumably here, the place just felt dead. But that's most likely just my imagination. Truthfully I haven't stopped thinking about this dead Maria girl.

Knowing that in reality, I'm her replacement.

It almost makes me feel dirty. Which is a hard thing to accomplish, let me tell you. But the more I spoke to M'raaj-Dar about it, the more I felt like the 'other' assassin.

I wasn't the pick of the liter, just a piece that could fit an empty space. I don't think I've felt this down in a long time.

Where's the chocolate when you need it?

xxxx

Me an M'raaj-Dar left Vicente's room sluggishly. After a quick recap of our little endeavor, M'raaj-Dar got only half of his reward for some reason, and I got shit. Needless to say we were both tired and even more miserable. Lucien had taken my new dagger back to…wherever he lives…I'm not getting it for another few days I suppose. And M'raaj-Dar also has to wait to get the rest of his gold too.

Bummer.

We were both still grumbling and just rounding the corner when Antoinetta seemed to pop up out of nowhere. "There you both are!" she beamed, "I've been wondering when you'd get back. What happened? Did you both get sent on a contracts?"

"Contract." M'raaj-Dar corrected her. "I've been stuck with this one for days now. I'm so glad to finally have my freedom back. She's been driving me to drink."

Antoinetta Marie looked confused but her smile stayed in place. "What do you mean _contract_?" She asked following us both into the living quarters. "Why were you both put together? I thought that you were taking up a dangerous defaulted contract, brother?"

M'raaj-Dar snorted, turning toward her. "I was. This brat over here decided to tag along." He said gesturing to me with a jerk of his head.

"Tag along?" she repeated, still looking utterly confused. "I don't understand-"

"You liar!" I snapped rounding on him, my temper now fuming. I'm rather dangerous when angry. "I did _not_ tag along, I didn't even want to go with you. I had no choice remember? Lucien…erm, our _Speaker_, said that there was no one else to accompany you."

M'raaj-Dar continued to glare daggers at me, a look I was only too happy to return.

"Wait," Antoinetta finally piped in, "I've been here all week, dying for some good action. And didn't you just get back from a Bruma assignment before he sent you on this one? I don't get it. Why would Lucien send you if he knew that I was available…"

She pouted, looking toward the both of us for answers. "I dunno." I shrugged. "Maybe he forgot you weren't busy. I suppose he was still fuming when we left because I 'snapped at him'." I said while quoting the last words with my fingers.

"Really, you?-" she started, now looking shocked. Seriously I was in no mood to go over this again.

Yeah, yeah, yeah…spoke out of turn…blah, blah, blah. The usual shit.

With a quick wave of my hand I stopped her question before it started. "Look Antoinetta, I'll tell you all about this…adventure later. Right now I'm taking a bath and going to bed." I smiled reassuringly at her and waved. "Goodnight."

But as I walked into the woman's quarters, I did see the glare she shot me, and the way she quickly followed M'raaj-Dar into the kitchens like a girl on a mission.

I didn't think I was being a bitch…but hey, I'm tired, maybe I accidentally was.

xxxx

I'm pissed. Yes, more than usual. Its been nearly two weeks and there has still been no sign of the family man. I want my damn enchanted dagger! I want a contract! It isn't fair. Honestly I think he's doing this purposely. He has something I want so he wont come here.

Damn that man.

But, like I said, two weeks and still I have seen no action. Instead, I've been gorging myself into Oblivion and training hard like a good little psychopath. Thankfully right now I'm gorging, having just finished sparing with Vicente.

I know its strange for me to say I'm thankful to get away from him, but after endless hours of him laughing at you because you tripped over your own to feet…its good to get some space. I mean, who wouldn't fall on their ass when a vampire is baring down on them?

My point exactly; we all fall. Helpless damsel syndrome sucks, but it cant be helped.

So now I have a hurt butt and a laughing vampire who will surely gloat more later.

Hoo-ra.

I suppose it could be worse. At least I know my 'back' needs more erm, padding. And no, not armor but more food. You see, I have been cursed with the Veetour family genes. This means, to be blunt, I have nothing in the chest department. Nope nothing. But thanks to said genes, I have to put this lightly, 'hips'.

So, if falling hurts, I'm not doing my genes proud. In order to honor our classic appearance, bring on the food! Preferably fruit at the moment.

xxxx

Gogron is by _far_, the best Orc in Cyrodiil. Why, you ask? Well, remember about five minutes ago when I said I wanted fruit? He has just come back from shopping and he got a Watermelon. Who said miracles don't happen?

Or maybe I'm just naturally lucky. Either way, I always get what I want.

"Where did you find that Gogron?" I asked, eyeing the large green oval. For the record, I'm talking about the Watermelon, not Gogron's head. "Do they even grow during winter?"

Gogron shrugged, slung the last bag from his shoulder and turned to leave. "I dunno. That's something you'd have to ask Vicente, sister." I quirked my brow and watched him go to the door. "He knows everything about everything. Reads too much." he chuckled and waved, leaving me to my little piece of Aetherius…

I cracked my knuckles and grabbed the biggest, sharpest knife in the kitchens; this being the Dark Brotherhood there are many, and set out to gorge.

For a moment I thought I heard someone entering the kitchens again but I dismissed the sound. _"Probably my roaring stomach anyway."_

Unceremoniously, I hacked into the fruit, knife slipping from its juices in my hands. Sometimes I become deranged when eating or about to eat. One who didn't know me would guess that I starve myself. My stepmother used to call me an ravenous wolf. Though, I took it as a complement.

I like wolfs…

"_Hello_ sister!" a familiar _dead_ Breton called from directly over my shoulder.

"Ack!" I yelped, slicing my finger open and dropping the knife. "Arg! Curse this _melon_! And all of its seeds!" Vicente began to laugh. I knew he would be back to gloat, but must he scare me half to death in the process?

I sharply turned, pointing my non-bleeding finger at him "Don't laugh you, _you_!" Words failed me. Me, who can sometimes never shut up could not find one suitable insult. He had made me _that_ angry.

Vicente grinned, "_Me? _I am awaiting your insult, dearest sister." he knows me to well. Perhaps he has just become so used to me swearing that he expects it. As he should, mind you, though I don't think he likes it. Vicente's far to 'proper' for vulgarity.

Growling, yep again with the growling; I've never claimed to be a master of stoicism, I turned my attention to my still bleeding digit. Without even giving it a glance, I popped it into my mouth and continued to glower at Vicente.

He blinked, seemingly surprised at something. "Well, I came in here to greet you, but now I find myself questioning your sanity." His head inclined to the side as he watched me. "You curse fruit, didn't insult me, and claim to be squeamish, yet here you are consuming your own blood." Vicente's grin grew, "Are you quite well?"

"_Was_ well, until you came in and nearly made me chop my bloody hand off." I mumbled, narrowing dark blue eyes in attempt to seem more menacing.

"Ah. Well then my condolences." He then grimaced, reached up and took my wrist, popping my finger from my mouth. "That's not sanitary." He said wrinkling his nose in disgust, as if my 'solving the blood problem' act, was the most repugnant display on Nirn.

"_What a hypocrite!"_

I laughed, "Your one to talk-" My gaze then fell upon our hands though. I would have continued talking but the blood beading up in my cut made me look away and lose my train of thought.

Vicente's brows knotted together as he watched my expression contort. "So rumors are true. You are afraid of blood."

That, annoys me. Why does Lucien, and now Vicente call me a _Blood Fearer_? I'm not afraid of the damn stuff! It just makes me queasy. Queasy is the thing I'm scared of as it usual leads to barfing.

Which we all now know my take on vomit.

Eww.

"Yet…" Vicente continued. "You consume it? Enlighten me, would you; where is the logic in that?"

Only out of respect for Vicente I didn't roll my eyes, but I wanted to do so badly. Should have known he'd want to know. Obviously _he_ would find my phobia fascinating…

"Its simple. I can be around blood. Hell, maybe even swim in it. As long as I don't actual _see_ it I'm fine." His brows rose as he let go of my hand and took a step back.

"Interesting."

I shrugged "Not really. So…Besides talking about my demented ways, do you have any reason in particular for being here? Or did you only come to gloat more, _dearest_ brother of mine?"

Vicente blinked and smiled, faking a mildly appalled expression. "Sister you wound me. To think I would come down here, with no other purpose than to smugly talk of your…" His smile grew as he brought up his hand and began to count on his fingers.

"Ungraceful fall, agitated and pained expression when you hit the floor, several minutes you spent swearing, or the choice words you used while insulting our unsatisfying thin training mats."

I could do nothing but glare as he clucked his tongue. "Shame on you for thinking I would ever consider doing such a thing. Why, what kind of person would I be if I did do that?"

Once again I was left without an answer. I was fuming, yet amused. His sarcasm did anger me of course, but I did find it funny too. "Brother you would be a sadist." I answered. He gave me another big toothy grin, and I'm not one hundred percent positive, but I swear his fangs looked bigger.

"One of the many 'sadists' then. We are the Dark Brotherhood sister, we all bask in pain of any kind. Sometimes, it cannot be helped."

I gave a little nervous laugh. "Yeah, the Brotherhood is full of them. I wish the terms with what I was going to have to deal with were a bit more clearer."

My lips pursed in thought as I rubbed the back of my neck. "Lucien barley told me anything, back when he first recruited me. Had I known my new home was going to be occupied by _pain lovers_, I may have declined the invitation."

"Why?" Vicente asked honestly. "You fit right in here."

I went to reply but was abruptly cut off by a now beaming Vicente. "Ah! Speak of Sithis and he will show." He turned on his heal and motioned for me to follow. "It seems he's finally answered my call. Come sister, our Speaker is here and he has something that belongs to you."

Once again, I went to reply but decided against it. I don't know how Vicente knew Lucien was here, but I have learned one thing while being in the Dark Brotherhood, and that's don't ask questions when Lucien's around.

Could be unwise. Knowing him and his omniscient ways you'll end up getting answers alright, but creepy _evil_ ones. The way I see it, Lucien Lachance is very straight forward but still likes to keep you guessing. I know it doesn't make sense, so to sum it up, he likes to watch us all to mental squirm.

And according to M'raaj-Dar need I remind you, physically squirm as well.

Hmm. Ironically enough, this isn't making me all to eager to great him. Pity. I'll tough it out though. I want my damn knife…


	19. Judgment

_Authors Notes: I LIIIIIIIVE! XD Happy 2009 everybody! Its great to be back, I've missed the computer. (hugs computer) This chapter is a bit messy (Like everyone else in the world I have been busy due to the holidays -.-' Glad that's over with X3) So please excuse the many errors, I had no proofing time and just finished writing it about…estimate, three minutes ago XD. But I promised Saturday so here it is…The reviews…0.0 THANKYOU! Especially the Adoring Fan, I'm glad you like the story and were kind enough to review for every chapter ;) Love, appreciation, and admiration. _

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Envy

Chapter eighteen: Judgment

_I was in a strange sudden bad mood as Vicente swung open the living quarter doors. It could have been because he had almost smacked poor Schemer into Oblivion in the process. I do not tolerate cruelty to rats…Let me rephrase that, I do not allow cruelty to __Schemer_. He keeps me company when everyone else is off, you know.

He scurried away unharmed for the most part, but as I was about to bring this animal abuse to Vicente's attention I decided that it could wait. Not smart to argue with an Executioner once a Speaker is in the vicinity. However having to hold my tongue worsened my already ill mood.

Not to mention my finger is bleeding again. I can feel it. Eww.

"Ah, brother." Lucien called out from…I don't know where. Sneaky fellow. "And sister. Just the two I was looking for." He stepped out from behind one of the pillars, making me nearly jump. Creepy fellow too.

"It's good to see you back so soon Lucien. I know you hadn't been planning on stopping by for sometime."

I watched them both carefully for a moment as they spoke. Honestly, it was already getting a bit boring, and old, and annoying... Every time Lucien comes back the entire family acts as though he has been missing for years. I don't get it. The Family Man is here almost every other week, why bother pretending to be ecstatic and surprised?

"You don't seem happy to see me Miss Vlando. Perhaps I have offended you in some way?" At first I had been taken aback by the odd question, but easily pushed the randomness of it all aside. Instead of thinking on it further I crossed my arms and looked up. Questions being directed at me deserve my utmost attention. Therefore, I gave my most intelligent and snobbish response, "No."

Lucien's eyes quickly narrowed at me, probably because of my unmistakably terse tone, yet his smile remained. "Come again, my _dear_?" Now it could have been his sudden depth and sternness in voice that quickly snapped me out of my bratty state. That or the demonic look on his face for it clearly said 'snap at me again and I'll eat your damn soul, and like it.'

Hmm, I'm guessing the latter though.

"No Speaker, sir." My stuck-up posture faltered a bit and along with it my invincible persona as I quickly sputtered a response. But hell laugh at me if you like, if you were in my shoes you would cower like a small yippy dog too.

I don't find it fair or laughable though. This man makes me feel stupid and random. He seems to have that effect on everyone though in the Sanctuary.

Who said that he demands not only respect but also fear from you? Was it Bellamont? Or maybe it was M'raaj-Dar who said something like that to me? Oh dear, I had almost forgotten all about me and M'raaj-Dar's conversation…

What an insightful conversation that was.

His smile grew as he placed a gloved hand on my shoulder. Strange. Leather gloves today, he usually wears velvet…

"Brother, I need to borrow our sister for a moment. May I?"

I quickly shot a painfully pitiful look at Vicente. _"Don't let him borrow me!" _It's like being thrust into a nightmare. A really, really, bad nightmare. I cannot recall a time where I enjoyed being alone with Lucien. And with this new eat your soul look he has, I don't think I will enjoy this meeting of the minds either.

"Why of course you can, Lucien." Vicente answered big with a toothy smile.

"_Psh, thanks Vicente. You're a pal."_

"Wonderful. Come with me now sister."

For a brief moment as I turned and walked down the corridors with Lucien, I saw Vicente's face. Our eyes met and I continued to give him the 'help me' stare. Bet you want to know how he responded? The fetching vampire waved to me. And smiled more. I am most certainly being sent to my doom, yet he acts as though I'm going off on vacation.

If I live through today, Vicente owes me a vacation…

xxxx

I rigidly entered the study. Lucien's seemingly favorite place to chat, or, torment. You never know. "Get yourself comfortable Miss Vlando this could take awhile."

Nodding I steered myself into the closest chair, discreetly pushing it a few inches away from Lucien's desk. Rarely do I enter the Sanctuary study. It's far too boring for me, worse than the library. Reading occasionally is fine but we have so many books on killing…very disturbing.

At least I can mix things in here. Alchemy is really fun, I'm just terrible at it though…Pity.

Lucien walked past me to the desk, but instead of taking a seat, he went straight for my hands. I swear this man has some type of strange bat-like sonar in his head. He knows whenever I'm bleeding. He's worse than Vicente.

His quick grab at my wrist made me flinch. When you enter a room for proper, civilized conversation there is usually no touching involved. In this case, rude snatching. Once again, the Dark Brotherhood's members know not the meaning of personal space.

"Something wrong?" He asked sternly, but the question in my opinion was a stupid one. _"Of course there's something wrong. You're touching me…creepy sadist."_

"No" I answered quickly, albeit too quickly.

I realized I was saying 'No' a lot today. Most likely because it was the easiest thing to say. Unfortunately, it's the hardest word for men like _Lucien_ to comprehend.

His brow furrowed at my fast response. "You flinched." He noted, dark eyes once again returning to search my face.

I was not going to say 'you scared me' for that would make me look pathetic. Plus, we assassins are supposed to be ready and alert to anything. So saying that would make me look like a bad psycho. I can't have my Speaker looking down on me.

So what could I do to save myself from this awkward situation, and keep me looking like the average psycho?

Lie, of course.

"I have…a nervous twitch." Not the best thing I could have come up with. I'll admit that. But it works I suppose. At least he won't think I'm still scared of him or anything.

"Do I make you nervous?" Scratch that last line, and damn him. Loophole. A smile quickly snaked its way across his face. I pressed back into the chair. Um…if you don't find this man creepy or unnerving, than I give you my praise. You must have blood of the Gods in you.

"No." I curtly replied and immediately scolding myself for doing so. I needed another lie, a better one, but his slowly tightening grip on my wrist seemed to be jamming my brain. Lucien doesn't appreciate bluntness. I always seem to forget that.

"I'm afraid of…the…dark?" If I had my hand, I would have hit myself. _"Afraid of the dark? How stupid can I be?!"_

But it wasn't my fault honestly. I just needed to answer him before her broke my hand off.

He chuckled darkly while casting that same restoration spell on me that he used back when I was first recruited. That strange caress feeling...thing. It can't be accurately described.

"Don't be afraid of the dark Miss Vlando." He purred. Yes, I have recently noticed that too. Lucien doesn't just talk, he purrs and smiles. Occasionally, when in the right mood, he'll threaten you to. I have yet to hear him yell. I think that would be scary. Like crazed bosmer, necromancer scary.

"Be afraid of what is in it." I furrowed my brow and watched him take the seat across from me. _"Be afraid of what's in it? Hmm, at least he's talking sense."_

"Now," Lucien began, taking on a sterner tone, "I believe you are awaiting the rewards I promised."

Ah, good. Right down to business.

Quickly I nodded. "Yes Speaker. Eagerly awaiting them." No lies there. I want my stuff.

He smiled, "Your going to have to wait a bit longer, sister. I heard that your contract with M'raaj-Dar didn't go over as smoothly as I had hoped it too." My jaw dropped. "Therefore," he continued, stopping me before I had a chance to protest. "You will get nothing until eleven thirty, tonight."

I wrinkled my nose. "Why eleven thirty?"

"Why not?"

Touché.

"I have a small task for you, my dear. Minute and simple it may be, it is all a mater of perspective. Quite literally." I sighed and dropped my head. _"Hear we go again." _

Another task? Sure, I want to get out there and…well, kill. But eleven thirty? I don't have long to assassinate someone at all. Which means this task probably has something to do with a certain _skeleton_ who, according to Vicente, is attempting to write me letters.

That answers the question of whose been placing odd scribbles on my nightstand but makes me wonder more really. I never knew the dead could write. But then again…Vicente does. Eh, better leave well enough alone before I spot a paradox and pop a vein from mental stress…

"You have proved that you can be a good actress, when needed be. But can you spot one as well?" I jerked my head back up and listened more closely. Maybe I was just going to have to play agent instead of assassin. I could deal with that.

"Think of it as a game of hide and seek. Although the one hiding will be in plan sight. One of the family has a plot to do something _foul_ to you today. It is your task to find out who it is. You can call this more of an exercise rather than mission. It's a simple test I hope you'll pass, for your own sake."

I went rigid in my seat. I was playing agent alright, but I was playing against skilled assassins…I lose.

"What do you mean? I'm not sure I understand this fully." The idea of Antoinetta or Gogron conspiring against me unnerving.

"Like I said, it is quiet simple. Just listen carefully. Starting right now one of your brothers or sisters is secretly out to get you. Before you get yourself worried, let me add that this is just an exercise. No _lethal_ harm will come to you."

That certainly wasn't comforting. "This is your test. To find out who the conspirator is. At eleven thirty _exactly_, the task ends and you come to me and give a small report on who you think it is. Everyone is a suspect. Remember that."

To be honest this sounds…fun. But frightening. "Okay, one of my siblings is a pretend target. Its like finding the needle in a haystack." I noted with a small bit of excitement in my voice, "So when does all this start? Are there, I don't know, any rules?"

Lucien nodded. "Of course. Would you like to hear them?"

"_No Speaker, I just like asking random questions. Who doesn't?"_

Needless to say I didn't voice that. But Lucien, seriously? "Rule number one and the most important rule: _everyone_ is a suspect. Do not let your guard down. Number two: your task ends at eleven thirty. Don't be late when I call you. Number three: You are not to tell anyone else know what you are doing. Only I know who is your target, if you tell the others it will further confuse you and could muddle your judgment."

Lucien looked up to the small clock on the wall and smiled. "You will be given subtle hints by the actor of the evening, as to help you decipher who it may be. If you fail this task, your punishment will be decided by the culprit. For your own sake you'll give this exercise your all. You don't want Telaendril having you polish your arrows now do you?" He chuckled at his own joke, but I was thoroughly relived that was the extent of the punishments.

This is the Dark Brotherhood after all. The penalty for failing could have been something darker like cutting off my foot or finger…I don't know, I'm still new to all this evil stuff. I'm not very imaginative yet.

Getting better though.

xxxx

Alright then, needle in the haystack…Where to start?

I walked about the halls aimlessly. If everyone is a suspect then the best place to start looking is in the living quarters. So off I went.

My fingers began flexing in the anticipation. My mind slowly trying to form a plan. As Lucien advised, I'm not going to tell anyone about this little task. It would be stupid of me to do so. Thus, my best course of action is to simply lay low and mingle with my brothers and sisters.

"Garlic!" I heard Antoinetta shout. She sounded very distressed and honestly she has been acting funny lately. Shouting 'Garlic' to the Havens only increases my assumption: she's snapped.

"No, that's revolting! Add some damn salt for Sithis sake." Blinking, and slightly wincing from the tense flavor conversation, I cautiously entered the small kitchen.

"Garlic in this, garlic in that. Hell, my bloods so goddamned thin now that I'd die from a paper cut!"

Gogron and Antoinetta were toe-to-toe. One held a large wooden spoon and the other a rolling pin. This could get ugly…

"Am…err, I interrupting anything?" They both rounded on me with the kind of look on there faces your parental would get if they found out you double-fisted Skooma in the Chorrol graveyard. Ehem.

"Aren't you sick of that garlic junk that she's been putting in _everything_? Don't you want a bit of variety in your diet?" Nervously my hands locked into fists and I fidgeted where I stood. I hate getting in the middle of things. Now though there was no turning back. "I-"

"No! You tell him that its good for you, and that you like it! Wouldn't change it for the world!" Antoinetta's face was scarlet from anger. Anger over spices. Am I the only one who finds this ridiculous?

Gogron whipped around pointing an incredulous spoon to her nose. "I'm gonna change you anatomy if you don't cut it out!" For a moment she just went cross-eyed staring at the spoon, I was afraid her eyes got stuck. Anyway she swatted the utensil away and spun on her heel.

Me and Gogron watched, only slightly petrified of the hormonal Breton. She stomped over to the counter and grabbed the cutting board which was holding lots of diced garlic. Unceremoniously she tipped the board into the boiling pot of what had just been potato soup.

My eyes began to water as the brew began to simmer and hiss, the stench of it literally put me into tears. "You little crazy Breton! I'll-" Gogron could not finish however as she stormed out of the room with her head held high.

If I tried to do that right now I would probably faint from the stench.

I turned to the now purplish Orc. If looks could kill, Antoinetta would have exploded before she reached the doorway.

"Tenets." He said through gritted teeth. "Must obey the tenets…" I wordlessly nodded. Yup.

"Best not get into trouble brother." I said cautiously stepping to the side. Antoinetta has gull, I'll give her that, because have you ever seen a berserk Orc? Its like a whirlwind of green fury.

I turned to the pot behind us. It was still bubbling and bulbs of improperly diced garlic were now falling from its rim and onto the floor. "…I'm not eating that."

He turned and eyed the stove with me. "Neither am I. She has quiet an attitude on her now. Been like this a couple days." I nodded again. "Yeah. I noticed. Its probably just her lack of fresh air. If you know what I mean."

Gogron nodded, but I could tell he was still fuming. "Fresh air alright. None of us have been getting enough of that with her damn cooking." I laughed and rubbed the back of my neck. "I'm sure she's only cooking up a storm to relieve the pent up stress. It gets boring in here after awhile. Do you know why are we lagging on contracts anyway? Usually no ones ever around this much."

"I have no idea. I've been dying to get some action myself. I've asked Ocheeva and Vicente, they didn't have anything for me. Thankfully Lucien gave me a contract. Small job, but I have something to do now. You know?"

"_Its Gogron!"_

I looked him over, giving Gogron my most inquisitive glare. "Oh. What kind of assignment has he gave you brother?" He shrugged, a forlorn look now spreading across his features as he tore his gaze away from Antoinetta's cooking.

"Nothing serious I'm afraid. Cant even kill people in this contract. Its more like…" he paused, searching the correct and slightly appalling word by his expression, "Detective work, rather than a assassination."

"_Detective work eh? Must be the subtle hints Lucien had warned me about." _

On that note I faked a sigh and turned to leave. "Don't worry. I'm sure we'll all be able to sate our metal soon enough."

Gogron forced a laugh and turned to the cabinets. "Heh, I sure hope so."

xxxx

Since it wasn't much to go on or enough for me to believe that I should be dismissive and point the finger at Gogron, I decided to keep my options open. Still, all signs may point to him but he's the only one I really spoke to today. My accusation could be based on mere paranoia, which is not a good thing if I'm aiming to get this task done right.

As for my list of suspects…I sincerely doubt Antoinetta is in on Lucien's scheme. Surely she would be in better spirits if she was. She would be doing something less boring after all. But I think we all know by now that Antoinetta is bad at hiding her joy.

So its off to the training room to see the rest of our homicidal little bunch.

xxxx

I entered the training room with a plastered grin. That way, hopefully, they wouldn't know I was on to them.

Telaendril was practicing her archery while M'raaj-Dar was hitting the nearby metal target with several variations of frost spells. I was in no mood to approach the Khajiit first so I went to talk to Tel. With age comes wisdom…she may be older than me and better at hiding things but believe me when I say that I can smell a rat…

"Good day Telae-"

The Bosmer spun around quickly. Her eyes were narrowed into slits and her voice sounded gruff and fatigued. "What?!" I took a step back from yet another hormonal assassin as she angrily cast her bow and quiver to the floor.

Yikes…

"Sorry..?" I offered, taken aback and slightly mortified. Am I the only normal one here? I'm the teenager you know, I have an excuse for the mood swings.

She crossed her arms and looked at me. Its quiet the sight when a woman gets so distressed she starts to tremble with furry. Almost like she's going to explode…

I'm thinking of blowing things up a lot aren't I?

"How can I_ better myself_ if I never have a moments peace to practice?"

"Look I didn't mean to interrupt-"

"Of course you didn't. No one does. Still they bother me! How does Lucien expect me to increase my skills when everyone under Sithis feels the need to exchange the days gossip with me?" This certainly is a sight. I have never witnessed a Telaendril hissy-fit. She had yet to actually yell at me but she now looked on the verge of distressed tears.

To think I once saw her as the sanest in our family.

"Forgive me sister, Nerah." She choked. Inwardly I cringed. Tel is an adult elf. Not the sort you want to get all weepy on you. "I did not mean to shout. Its just that I-I have… Lucien has denied me again! Is there something wrong with me?"

I blinked, unsure of whether or not I should attempt to comfort her or ask her to repeat herself.

Well that answers one question. Now I know the Family Man is has been bedding someone in the Sanctuary. That's a relief but, wait…isn't that like _Dark Incest_?

"Erm, maybe your not his type…?" I ventured cautiously. She then shook her head, cracking a small smile.

"Get you stupid mind out of the gutter cub!" M'raaj-Dar shouted from across the room. "Idiot. He didn't give her the promotion she deserves. Once again her talents are being wasted on minor contracts."

Oh. Well I feel silly. Eh not really. "Why hasn't he promoted you?"

"I don't know." She began with a sigh, "Lucien did not elaborate. He only said that I'm still not doing as well as he expects of me." Telaendril bent down and began picking up her discarded and scattered arrows. I could here her muttering something about being the best assassin on Nirn.

Someone certainly has got high hopes.

xxxx

Ocheeva was off. She went out awhile ago to the Mages Guild to recharge one of her favorite blades. She's not expected back until later on this evening. That leaves her little time to plan and carry out said plan. And after a short chat with Teinaava I don't think he's the one either.

He was reading…again and barley looked in my direction when _I_ was talking. How rude. Has he no respect?

Then there's Vicente. Whom promptly told me to 'go way' before I even had the chance to knock on his door. Also rude and it upset me a bit too. Not much mind you, but I did click my tongue and stomp down the hall as loudly as I could. Making it a conscious effort for him to hear me.

I even peeked in on Robert and Schemer to see if any plotting was being done there. I doubt it. If anything their plan has to do with cheese and wine. Cheese because Schemer was eating a lot of it today. Wine because Robert kept pointing to it, and an alembic, while holding up one finger and shaking his head.

Wine. Alchemy. One. No.

…I don't get it. Maybe he's mocking my drinking habits.

The day has pretty much been a waste of time. Lucien's task seemed more interesting at the beginning. Oh well. I guess its better than flipping through another uninteresting book on how to properly strangle someone in there sleep. What a boring read.

xxxx

It was only about eleven when the Family Man came looking for me. I was distantly nursing a hot cup of tea-which I was in no mood for-with Schemer in my lap when he rounded the corner. He grinned smugly and gave me and Schemer one brief calculating glance.

Pft assassins with their darty eyes.

"Sitting on the job Miss Vlando?"

I shook my head. "No Speaker." Lucien eyed Schemer curiously for a moment, thus making the rat run away. Poor thing. You know that's a bad sign, even rats flee before him. "Then perhaps you have found your lead?"

"I think I know who the culprit may be, yes." He inclined his head to the side, "Really, so soon? I should have made this task more difficult then." He smiled and motioned for me to follow him with his finger. "We needn't waste time then. Come along. Lets discuss your progress shall we?"

We entered the study again. Why doesn't he ever use his room for our scarring meetings I wonder?

Without being told so I flopped into my chair and waited patiently. Or as close to patient as I can be I'm afraid. "You seem awful confident. I do hope you'll fascinate me with your people-reading skill. I'm looking forward to it."

He sighed almost _happily_ through his nose and looked up to the clock. "Oh, but its early." Lucien turned and procured a bottle from the desk, flashing me a very big smile. "Before we go any further, can I offer you a drink?"


	20. Trinkets

_Authors Notes: I'm alive! Ta-da! Well here you go chapter…19…I hate this chapter XD Anywho, I wanted to bug you before you read on. This is a warning: Nerah Vlando is (technical term) kinda Bipolar. In the world of Oblivion though (back in the day) there was no name for it. I figured you have seen small hints of it in the story so far, well for this to plot to progress it gets a bit worse. She has err…her strange ways if you haven't noticed. She's like a dumb mad scientist XD just put it that way. She wants to be older and does stupid things that she thinks adults do. And she's an evil little spoilt brat. She will always have her way. And the title? To Nerah everything is a trinket, even people. To sum it up, she's clinically insane XD _

* * *

Envy

Chapter: Trinkets

"_A drink?" _My brows had rose so high on my forehead that I doubted they were still visible. However Lucien's smile did not falter in the slightest. The cat-like grin was still plastered on his face. Obviously I was more than just skeptical, I was confused, bewildered really. I may like to drink but I am not foolish enough to accept any liquor from the man who hates when I drink it.

My nose set into wrinkles by the mere thought of punishment that surely would come for partaking. Did he honestly think that I would be all gung-ho just because he's brandishing a bottle at me? I have mental scarring worse than what I had from seeing my dead mother because of him. No longer can I even walk by an undead creature without shuttering from the vivid images I have Robert.

"No thank you, Speaker. I, uh…I'm not thirsty at the moment." I cleared my throat for as a sign of closure, something my dad used to do whenever he reluctantly refused something.

Lucien chuckled while uncorking the bottle, "No. You're afraid I'm going to slap you on the wrist for drinking." He placed two goblets on the desk before me, despite my refusal.

I told you this man doesn't know the meaning of 'no'.

"Good of you to heed my warning, but I assure you sister," He smiled, pouring hearty amounts in each of the goblets, "I have no desire to use Robert as a tool to humiliate you this evening. And I also recall having told Vicente that you are allowed small amounts of wine when in his company. This is no different." Lucien then sat back in his chair, gently pushing the other goblet to me.

You must understand that it is hard for me to refuse a drink, even something as dull as wine. I'm not an obsessive drinker or anything but I take it when it's offered.

Just as I was about to reach for the goblet I suddenly remember something, something that an assassin should never overlook. _"Poison!"_ I quickly withdrew my hand and held it as though the silver stem burned me. Lucien had already brought the cup to his lips and barley looked up over the rim of the glass at me. He casually took a small sip before remarking my strange behavior.

Although he's probably used to my strange outbursts by now.

"Is there something wrong, miss Vlando?"

My eyes narrowed into slits as I peered across the table and into his goblet. The 'sip' that he took was so discrete. I had a hard time believing he even drank any at all.

"You…you're trying to poison me. The wine is toxic!" I pointed an incredulous finger at my still untouched goblet. Lucien's brow slowly quirked as he regarded me those dark, scheming, _evil_ eyes...

"Why would I poison my own drink? You watched me pour it, or were you not paying attention?"

My mouth quickly opened and then shut. I did watch him pour it; he couldn't slip anything into the cups without me noticing. Still that's not enough to make me believe him though. His wine doesn't look touched... "I won't drink it Speaker. I know that you tainted it in some way."

Lucien sighed through his nose, and shook his head disappointingly, "Though it's an admirable trait for the assassin to be skeptical over their food and drink, I'm hurt that you suspect me of trying to poison you. Out of all your Dark Siblings you target your Speaker. Perhaps you have some unspoken grudge against me?"

My hands nervously clasped into fists, _"Yes, I do, your scary." _but I tried to smile all the same, "Of course not. You just seem the most likely suspect-" He quickly held his hand up, abruptly cutting me off, "My dear it is not yet eleven thirty. Don't state you're accused until the appointed time." Lucien then took a long swing of his wine before adding with a smile, "Can you not follow the simplest of rules?"

This time I blinked. Not at the remark but at his cup. This time when he drank it drained some. Of course that was proof enough that the wine was safe for me. I felt my chest swell with excitement as I plucked my goblet from the table. "Alright then Speaker, I trust you. And…might as well occupy myself for the next three minutes."

Lucien smiled and nodded, "Child you may do whatever you wish. But now that you mention it, I imagine we both have better things to do then sip wine and stare at each other. Why don't you tell me who your suspect is now and let us be done with this game?"

I shrugged, pressing the goblet to my lips and taking a long sip. Honestly I never really liked wine but it still tastes wonderful compared to damn tea…

"Gogron." I answered simply. "I carefully watched or spoke to everyone in the Sanctuary today. None of them acted like they felt conspicuous. And assassins or not, I think their liable to be so. Honestly Gogron is my suspect only because of something he said, otherwise I wouldn't suspect any of them." Nervously I rubbed the back of my neck. Lucien's expression seemed…approving but it didn't strike me as a job well done. Not just yet. And that makes me _just_ a tad nervous.

"Either they're really good, or I'm really bad at this." I added with a nervous laugh.

"No," Lucien said shaking his head slightly, "I'm quite proud of you. You've done better than I thought you would have." I beamed and put my cup back on the desk. The atmosphere of the room must have lightened by my expression. I felt so strangely proud, accomplished and…cold? Cold from excitement? Eh, I wouldn't doubt it. Lucien seems to have a strange effect on people. After all, he only said the word 'proud' in my direction and now I feel all giddy, like I did something 'good enough' for once in my life.

But yesh! That doesn't change the fact that it's cold in here. I can barley feel my fingers. Why can't he make me feel all warm and fuzzy instead of chilly and chipper?

"Although…" He continued but his change in tone made me want to wince, "You were wrong."

Damn it!

"It's not Gogron, I'm afraid. But don't fret; I'm still giving you your rewards. You did suspect the right person…for a moment."

I pursed my lips. So much for cold and chipper, now I'm just cold and stupid. Who else could it have been? Everyone else I spoke with today didn't strike me as the target. They must be really good. Gogron was the only real person I thought it was. Really there's no one else except…

"And by the way, I hope you enjoyed my company and the wine."

I glared daggers at him. _Enjoy_ his company…my foot; I want to beat him with that damn bottle. He knows just what to say to make me want to strangle him, I swear. It's him, it's got to be. Bastard. I was so close.

"Its good isn't it?"

Just when you think they'll shut up…Speaker's. If he thinks I'm going to sit here and allow him to rub my nose in failure, he's got anther thing coming. Speaker or not, Dark Brother or not, I don't take that. My pride might be bigger than his ego. I'll risk having a knife in my spine rather than sit and twiddle my thumbs quietly while he mocks me.

I huffed and was about to stand up and leave but my legs didn't want to move with me. They didn't move or feel at all actually. Here I thought he wouldn't sink so low. Sure he was the real target thingy, but I thought his trap would be something more interesting than this. "The wine was poisoned," I said flatly. "It _was_ you. I knew it." I sighed at my own gullibility.

He won and I lost. I was an idiot who drank the wine when I knew I shouldn't have. It didn't get any simpler than that. I honestly didn't feel angry that I lost because in a way I did win…kind of. In my own mind I won anyway. But like I said I didn't feel angry or sad. Nope, to be honest I don't feel anything at all…literally.

"_Wait…the wine was poisoned. I can't move anything from the waist down and I'm stuck in a room with a sadist…idiot. That's not something to be anti-emotional about." _Thus with those thoughts I worked myself into a state of slight distress. _Slight_.

"What…what did you do?" I whined, making another failed attempt to move from my chair. It's actually quite scary not being able to move when you're in a room with an assassin grinning at you like that. But I wouldn't say I was panicking, only because I wasn't screaming yet. Not that I would scream mind you. Shrieking in fear never solves anything, but swearing on the other hand can make everything interesting. Before you go on thinking that I'm trying to be a tough guy, let me stop you, because I saw this coming. Didn't I say he might saw off my foot if I failed this exercise?

I only failed a _little bit _so…on that notion maybe he'll just take a toe or two. What he'll do with them? Sithis only knows...

To my dismay Lucien stood and began rummaging through the desk while whistling some _unholy_, yet catchy tune. He pulled out the two familiar packages and walked over to me, placing them in my lap and neatly folding my hands on the boxes.

Sadly I no longer had feeling in my arms so I couldn't open my things. He is certainly evil incarnate.

"Why so sad miss Vlando? What you want is right before you. Just think, several hours from now you can open your rewards and go to bed. Isn't that just what you wanted?"

I wish I could have said something but I had turned into a breathing, blinking statue. I was so angry though that I didn't really care at the moment whether or not I could feel my face or move. I wanted my gods damned stuff! Once again the Family Man is holding out on me. He is cynically demented and I want to do something so awful to him! I just can't decide on an adequate torture...

Lucien tapped my head gently before taking his leave as if he were petting a dog, just to through salt in the wound.

This may just be the most horrible day of my life. Why? I don't know, other than being stuck to a chair and having been humiliated the day was alright. I should learn to expect this evilness that is Lucien Lachance. But I'm still having a hard time coping with the fact that this creepy man is my boss. So I guess that gives reason for this to be such a bad day.

But not only does he leave me paralyzed, he leaves me in here with that stupid song floating around my brain. I'm going to have that damn tune he was whistling stuck in my head all bloody day now…

xxxx

It was about forty minutes into my torment when I heard a bombardment of swears coming closer to the study. I knew Lucien must have long gone, and he being the only other human male in the Sanctuary it had to be Vicente. But my, my, what a colorful vocabulary Vicente has when he thinks no ones around listening.

He stormed in muttering something about a blonde twit - three guesses who - and slammed the door to the study behind him. Vicente was completely oblivious to my presence. He began to look through the alchemy cupboards, glaring at each bottle and herb as if it had done him a great personal wrong, like they all had little mouths and were insulting the size of his fangs or something - .

Moving on…

There was only one way for me to get his attention, and that was to mumble really loudly. But if I did that Vicente would see me in my lowest state; paralyzed to a chair, with my head tilted stupidly and my face still etched with shock. I suppose it could be worse. I mean I could be naked…wait no! That would have made this situation tolerable. Damn you Lachance! Why couldn't you have taken my clothes off before you left?!

The thought made me groan miserably. Every other creep would have taken advantage of my paralyzed state, why couldn't Lucien be the pervert I made him out to be? However my groan alerted Vicente of me presence. He sharply turned around, his eyes scanning the dark room. It was then I noticed that his eyes were no longer that brilliant red but a strange silvery-white color.

What I asked was "Mrrumph?" but what I meant to ask was 'what happened to your eyes?' He _apparently_ didn't understand me. Vicente squinted into the darkness, those bright eyes flashing with disbelief and annoyance. But I would be confused too. Hell I would be scared if someone just moaned randomly at me in the dark.

"Sis-sister? What are you doing sitting in the study without any light?"

I made another 'mrrmph' sound and tried again to twitch in vain. It's hard to play charades when you can't move.

"Are you…alright?"

"_What do you think?" _Such a silly question. Am I alright…I'm fetching fantastic! I love being numb, alone, and in the dark…_vampires_.

Vicente walked over to me, his now pale eyes still gleaming. He tilted his head to the side and looked me over dubiously. Maybe he thought I was secretly plotting something against him. I do have him alone now after all and with him being a vampire…well certainly he's picked up _some_ signals and should be expecting me to tackle and ravage him. If I was Vicente I would be afraid of me too.

"Let me guess," He finally began, "You shared a drink with Lucien?"

"Mrrumph."

"Ah, I see. Give me a moment then." He turned on his heel and walked over to one of the alchemy cupboards. Vicente pulled out a dusty looking vial and carefully uncorked it. I noticed how he held it away from his nose; keeping it at arms length, and walked it back over to me.

"It tastes horrible and works slowly. But I see no reason for you to suffer further. One miserable murderer is enough for this Sanctuary."

I looked from the bottle then to Vicente again. How he expected me to drink it I'll never know. I can't open my mouth, let alone willingly drink a potion.

"Do you need help?" He asked, cracking a smile. I went to nod and failed. Being paralyzed really gets annoying after awhile.

Vicente reached up and carefully clasped my chin in attempts to open my mouth. It was funny actually, with all that vampiric strength he's got it took him a minute to do so. Lucien Lachance can make a mean potion.

When he finally had me slightly slack-jawed he tipped the contents of the vial into my mouth. Surprisingly I could swallow it, but what was more surprising is that I didn't choke it back up. He wasn't mincing words when he said it tasted horrible.

"Don't be embarrassed," Vicente said gently. "This is not the first time I had to do this. Nor will it be the last so long as Lucien is our Speaker."

I attempted to smile, the corners of my mouth turning up slightly. Why had I been mad at Vicente earlier today?

Who cares?

Meh, I'm becoming a necrophilia, but only for Vicente, I promise.

"Lesson number one when in Lucien's company: bring your own goblet. He likes to smear the poison just around the cups rim. Even when faking drinking it must touch your lips. Conniving little Imperial isn't he?"

Lucien: little Imperial…funny.

"So how long have you been stuck here?" he asked, tapping a finger to his chin. "Four-" I breathed, "Forthy minusss." Vicente snickered at me. It wasn't my fault that I couldn't talk. With numb lips and a tongue that felt swelled I think I have every right to sound funny. At least he got the gist of it though.

"Well forty minutes isn't so bad. I didn't find Antoinetta the day Lucien did the same trick to her. He had her held up in his room; she bumbled out sometime after dawn. Lucien had poisoned her the day before." He sighed. "Poor thing, Antoinetta. You know I might sympathize with her more if she wasn't such a fool. By Sithis, the girl doesn't know her ass from her elbow!"

I blinked and so did he. Vicente just said a _bad_ word again? So much for being some undead Breton gentleman!

"You Showre!" I laughed in disbelief. "Swore!"

If vampires could blush I think Vicente would look like a tomato right now. He nervously rubbed the back of his neck, silver eyes flashing around the room widely as if an excuse for his cursing would be found lying about with the potions. "No," he began curtly. "I…It was a slip of the tongue. Simple garbled speech and I've been around you too much. You _etiquette_ has rubbed off on me."

I continued to laugh, "Sure, blame me Broover!"

I would have pressed the issue but I was more interested in his current silver eyes, and his unknown hate towards Antoinetta. That and I used to hate getting mocked for swearing too. My damn stepmother would lock me in my room for hours when I did. To bad for her, I jumped out my window each time. Did she really expect me to hide off like a good little girl and tear up in shame?

Well nope. I'd rather run off and spend some quality time with the gang.

"Why er you made at Antoinett-da?"

Vicente snorted and crossed his arms. "Her cooking." He spat acidly. The way he spoke it sent shivers up my spine and not the good ones either. Never before did I think someone could say the word 'cooking' and make it sound so deadly.

My face fell slightly at his cruel tone…look out Antoinetta.

"That girl knows very well of my allergy to garlic and yet she consistently uses it in her recipes. One day I shall die from its stench and all the blame will fall upon here. I will kneel before Sithis in dishonor, death by an herb at the hands of one of my little, silly sisters."

I'm not silly.

"Time and time again I have warned her and Ocheeva to keep it out of the kitchens. Do the listen? No, no of course not. So now I will warn you for your own benefit. If you so much as make a stew with garlic I won't hesitate to…to…confront you! The tenets prevent me from killing my family members but someone must take action. And with you as my witness, I will be that one from now on taking that action, seeing as Ocheeva has left this task up to me."

I let him rant. What else was I supposed to do? I actually liked hearing him get angry. Vicente: so composed, so tame, yet so powerful - prodigy of the Dark Brotherhood in my opinion - yet he is venting. He lets no one know of his rage, never have I heard him tell another soul of his qualms, not even of the little one like right now. Nope, he tells no one, but me.

I could use this…

Unknowingly he is doing more than just blowing off some steam. Think about it, he's confiding in me and I'm not just saying this because of some girlish infatuation I have for him. What it boils down to is more than just some bout of distress over garlic, but his disappointment.

He's complained to Ocheeva and Antoinetta so far about this and nothing has been done. But I can certainly do something about it, and I will. Rest assured I will.

He scratched my back now hasn't he? I'll return the favor…just as soon as I open my rewards…

xxxx

What the hell am I supposed to do with a ring?!

Does Lucien think I'm his wife or something?

Yeah, I got a little black ring with no diamonds or engravings, but it only fits my ring-finger so it's like I'm fetching married to the Dark Brotherhood. Oh well, at least this new Elven dagger is nice, to bad I don't know when I will ever use it.

I swear all of Nirn is out to get me and make me miserable.

Anyway, besides that I am a very happy girl. Vicente has invited me to go for a walk with him tomorrow night in order to discus another contract. Maybe I'll even see him eat someone. Eww, maybe I'll faint, maybe he'll have to be my Knight in Shrouded Armor, and catch me when I fall. Better yet, maybe he'll bite me. Who knows? I can dream cant I? Though I doubt I'll taste very good…Even so, Teinaava told me that being bit by an older more experienced vampire is a very erotic thing.

I bet your wondering how Teinaava and I started such a weird discussion…Don't ask…really don't.

So I cannot wait for tomorrow night. Either way I'm going to ask every question I can. I want to know about Vicente more. How many people have the opportunity to live with a vampire and not have to worry about him snapping at you in your sleep? He must have led an exciting mortal life, how else would he have mastered such restraint besides experience?

I want to know why his eyes were silver too. I never saw them like that before. Maybe it was just a spell he had cast - could he be a mage too? I bet he was both; some rich, noble, swordsman. What if he had been married? That would be so exciting to find out! I want to get my hands on his brain now; I need to know his memories.

Vicente shall be my new little puzzle. I love puzzles…solving them, looking at them, and marveling them…Oh wow, I do belong in the Dark Brotherhood don't I? I am just a little girl after all, and here I am thinking of a vampire who could snap my head of as a toy.

It's delicious, I love my mind, I love me!

"You are truly frightening, sister. That grin on your face is an evil one. Trust me I know."

I quickly looked up from my new trinkets to Antoinetta who was now was leaning over the table watching me on propped up elbows.

Odd, I wonder how long she was standing there.

"That smile wouldn't have anything to do with you newest contract would it? I'd bet my hair it is."

I sighed and stared longingly at my black ring. "No, it doesn't. You owe me your hair."

Why is it whenever my thoughts start to turn sensual someone interrupts me?

You know this just struck me…you would think the Dark Brotherhood would have more to do with sex instead of murder. I mean without the Night Mother and Sithis getting jiggy than there would be no Dark Brotherhood. Shouldn't we honor them in other ways besides death? When did this whole murdering trend start anyway? Shouldn't we…I don't know…party to honor their union?

For some Brotherhood I feel awful lonely. And a very _dead _Breton is my only sexual interest. How sad.

At such a thought I suddenly feel so empty, I am companionless. I have been denied attention from the opposite sex since I joined the Brotherhood. I don't know how anyone in our sanctuary does it! How can they all go so long without sex, do they bed each other?! We are Dark Siblings, it isn't right. But I am a very lonely girl lusting for my dead, three-hundred year old brother…makes me sound strange doesn't it?

Who am I kidding, I'm moral-less! Hell I'm a cold blooded murderer! Who cares if it sounds strange! But strange or not it sounds depressing. What kind of girl would stoop so low as bedding someone without a pulse? Me that's who.

"Antoinetta, may I ask you a few questions. _Private _questions?"

Antoinetta sat at the bench before me and smiled. "Of course, anything sister. Ask away."

I drummed my fingers on the table to try and get a melody stuck in my head and keep me from being so down and droopy. "Well first off, how'd you know that I just received a contract? Vicente said that it was to be kept quiet for a few days."

She laughed and tossed her hair. "Secrets? Word travels fast in this Sanctuary deary. We all know each others business. Sadly, we _all _know each others business. It gets annoying after awhile actually." She shrugged, but shot me a strange look. "I wonder why you're getting another contract though. Everyone else here has gone without work. What made our Speaker pick you?"

It was my turn to shrug. "I have no clue. It's probably a silly contract. Kill a beggar or something of that like, you know."

Antoinetta smiled up at me weakly and said, rather randomly, "I see you've got your Black Band."

I blinked. "My what?"

She laughed and pointed to my right hand. "Your ring silly! You're dreadfully slow today. Are you quite well?"

I ignored her and examined the ring on my finger instead. _"Black Band eh? Kind of a catchy name. Doesn't she have a ring just like this too? I think she does…yep she does! Lucien gives us girls jewelry. How sweet of him." _

"Err…Antoinetta this is a bit of topic but I would like to ask you a question about -"

"Lucien?"

What is with her and him? They have something going on. That or she's just about as obsessed with the Family Man as I am with Vicente. Scary thing we female assassins. "Erm…no…not about Lucien. It's about life here in the sanctuary."

She nodded. "What about life in the sanctuary? There's not much to know. We eat, we kill, we sleep..." She continued to list off many activates that we assassins are supposed to do and see as fun. Training and making poisons. Really not the activities I was hoping for. Antoinetta is one of those girls with the attention span of a Scrib. She'll hop from one thing to another in a conversation and it's hard for her to stay interested on things she doesn't care for.

Luckily though if you ask the right question she can usually be a great informant.

"Are you at all _intimate _with our Speaker?"

Obviously this ruffled some feathers. She stared at me blankly for a moment, giving me that usual look an adult gives a child when they ask where babies come from. But whether or not she was going to pitch a fit at me for being so blunt I had to know if we can actually be with another member of the family.

I know what you're thinking: I'm perverted, I'm a whore, and I'm a disgusting little girl who should be whipped for even doting on sex. You know what? All of what you think is true; the sad part is I just don't care anymore. Life is short, I'm going to indulge in every worldly pleasure that I can before I kick. Especially for an assassin, I don't have time to be a picky prude.

"Sister! I…no. I am not, but, well…" She did the same thing as Vicente did earlier; rubbed the back of her neck and glanced anxiously around the room. Poor thing, she's embarrassed over something. She has such a crush on Lucien; they would be so scary together it's comical.

"But can you? I mean is it breaking a tenet to _be _with a family member?"

Antionetta laughed nervously and shook her head. "No, no. The Dark Brotherhood encourages it. We are bonded by blood, not related by it. It's a practice, or it's supposed to be. But why do you even ask such a question? You're far too young -"

"Of course." I said, quickly cutting her off. "I was just curious."

We were silent then for awhile, each waiting for the other to talk. I'll admit it's a bit embarrassing to let the world know I'm…well, a 'bad' child. But at least I'm honest, and at least if I die on a contract I'll die with a vast knowledge of the world. Not that I want to die anytime soon.

Call me crazy, but I have the strangest feeling that I'll die just moments after I bed Vicente…if I do anyway…ehem.

"Thanks for your information dear sister. It helped. But now can I ask you a favor? I'll make it quick. If you give me your solemn promise that you wont use garlic in the kitchens anymore than I swear not to tell Lucien about your obsession with him…Deal?"

She looked aghast, really it was priceless. I'm not cruel, I have no intention of telling anyone of her crush, but she doesn't know that now does she?

"W-what? I don't!…How'd you? -"

"Like you said, we all know each others business. Sorry Antoinetta but you can't use garlic anymore. I like you as my sister and Vicente as my brother too much. Put it this way, If you keep cooking then I'll lose you both. Just keep garlic out of your recipes and I'll keep my nose out of your affairs. I'll even tell our Speaker that you're the prettiest and most skilled assassin on Nirn!"

Ahh manipulation. It's as easy as that.

* * *

_Authors Notes: Meh…I really didn't like this chapter either….But see? How that for getting in Nerah's mind? She was a very bad kid growing up (she's still a kid too) and never had any real morals, even if she says she does. But in order to make her a murderer I needed her to be an eccentric (putting it lightly XD) I didn't want the whole 'damsel in distress who had no other choice than murder people' thing. I wanted to make a sarcastic, strange…psycho. X3 She acts on impulse and does everything in her power to get her way. I wanted to put a brat in the Brotherhood, every chapter I've written so far was for you to see what she is like. But the real story starts in the next chapters. Yes, here we go…chapters will be longer and will have third-person switches every now and then (I'll all that explain later :D) Envy actually has a plot to it, the story wasn't just written for random pairings. Sooo be ready for new faces, character development, and…stuff! Ta! Review to let me know your thoughts :3 ! _


	21. Step One

_Authors Notes: I don't like this chapter…:C Probably because its finally starting to get serious. Ah, character development is approaching. Anyway there will be intervals of third person writing from now on. Once you see the capitalized X's then its in third person, little x's are for Nerah/Natilie/the main chic with messy hair, first person. My apologies for the wait. I have recently been playing Oblivion on my PC and discovered the wonders of mods. We all know Oblivion has as awesome plot, awesome mods, an awesome disrobe spell mod, and an awesome vampiric Count I like to cast it on and laugh while he chases you around the castle in his skivvies XD. So, naturally, my hands have been a bit tied._

* * *

Envy

Chapter twenty: Step One

I _know _its going to be cold out so I will just have to bring a cloak. Pity that, you cant really be seductive if your covered in a thick shall. I'll make due I suppose, after all I've had worse predicaments and weather conditions when trying to woo someone.

I'm a creative girl so surely I'll get by.

Perhaps having to cover myself up will make this more of a challenge. Wont that be fun! I'll have to use every trick in my book to get him: flip my hair, bat my lashes, force a blush, laugh at whatever he says until my lungs pop…you know the girly cons.

Vampire or not these tricks I use have been perfected; I make it a personal goal to know how to manipulate men, woman, mer and beast. Men though is my specialty, probably because I enjoy doing it the most.

Thinking like this always takes me back to when I killed dear Peter. He was so simple to corner too now that I think about it…Honestly, what kind of idiot would let themselves be tied to a bed when the person with the rope curses them daily?

Peter, Peter, Peter…what a poor fool you were.

I cant help but to smile when thinking on it. He was always so eager and…well…stupid. Boastful too, you would think he was the man whore of Tamriel by the way he talked. Too bad the only girl in Chorrol he couldn't get was me. But that was only because I loved torturing him and his dear 'mummy' too much to give in. Sad to know that he was the last naked person I saw. Very depressing sight, it will forever be burned into my retinas.

I wonder why I'm even thinking about him right now. I should be happy, not dwelling over that pitiful look in his eyes as I closed the door of my room behind me. What a horrible way to go. Tied to a bed, stark naked, thinking you were going to get laid then it all goes up in flames…quite literally.

Ah well, I hope his death made Sithis happy, it sure makes me even to this day.

But back to more pressing and important matters…where's my cloak?

xxxx

It was quiet out in the chapel graveyard, and damn cold too. Lucky for me winter is almost over. I'll admit it's a bit warmer than usual. But I digress, I need to pay attention to other things at the moment. Like where Vicente is. If he doesn't show I swear I'll…do something terrible. I don't know what yet, but I'll think of something.

"Your getting better at being quiet. Without my gift it would have taken me a decade to find you."

I turned to see Vicente who was standing over by a rather large stone angel statue with a smile on his face. I was a bit surprised that he wasn't trying to conceal his appearance at all. All he wore was a dark cloak, the hood wasn't even up, you think it would be. Maybe he has a death wish.

"Your in the open!" I hissed striding forward. "What if someone see's you?"

Vicente quirked a pale brow at me but smiled. "Although I am flattered that you care for my safety it is not needed. If someone decides to give me a second glance then I shall have my weekly dinner."

Weekly dinner…I ought to fatten Vicente up somehow. Eating once a week cant be healthy, even for a vampire.

I looked around the graveyard and pulled my hood further down my face. Call me crazy, but I don't like standing near a chapel anymore. I hope we start walking soon, this place is giving me the creeps and I'm a damn murderer - that's saying something. Not to mention the entire time I have been out here I've felt watched. It might have been Vicente, but I could swear I thought I heard someone scurry away minutes before he popped up.

Who knows? Maybe it was a priest and I scared him…I do that often.

Unintentionally for Sithis sake! I don't want a preacher afraid of me. Having them constantly cross themselves as you walk by gets annoying after awhile.

"Sooo where are we going?" I asked, quickly forgetting about my priestly-paranoia.

"Well I wanted to talk to you outside of the Sanctuary for once sister. Since you're here, which is all I wanted, I think you should be the one to decide." I felt myself smirk before I could stop it. Of course he would want _me _here, I'm me.

"Around the shops. I haven't been out for awhile and I need to stretch my legs. Not everyone can spend their days in one position reading a book you know."

It was Vicente's turn to smirk. "Perhaps you should. Reading is a very enjoyable way to obtain knowledge." I laughed and shook my head. Silly Vicente, I don't want to read if I don't have too. Seeing as I know mostly everything, I never have too.

"I hope your not calling me stupid because I'd rather _live _the adventure then read about it. Its cowardly to live in a tome. What kind of excitement happens to a reader? None." For some reason his expression dropped, his eyes softened and shoulders slumped. I know he likes his books but he shouldn't take it so personally, its only my opinion after all.

Of course my opinion is very important but he has his own too.

"Sister, lets just walk, hmm? I'd rather not stand idly in the graveyard." I snorted and walked over to him, making sure to flick my hood back and tousle my hair. "Tell me about it. These places give me the creeps."

xxxx

"What did you want to talk to me about anyway Vicente? And how come we couldn't speak in the sanctuary?" I looked up at him with a smirk. "Got some racy gossip?" We had been walking in silence for a short time now and it got annoying very quickly, I had to stop it, so I would pester him to speak.

The streets were dark and cold, the only light was from the dimly lit oil lamps. Everyone in Cheydinhal was sleeping, as they should be. Its what, three in the morning?

Vicente sighed heavily and for a moment more said nothing. Just for the record, I may be an assassin but I hate silent interludes in conversation. "Impertinent girl." He _finally _muttered while shaking his head slowly. "No, this conversation has no sexual content. But strangely enough this does lead me to my first topic." I nodded and waited as patiently as I could. "The latest _gossip_, non vulgar mind you, is currently all about Mathieu Bellamont. You remember him correct?"

Wow, Vicente sure thinks I'm stupid. Of course I remember Mathieu, he was only at our sanctuary a couple weeks ago. Poor Mathieu. I truly pity him now that I know what happened to his girlfriend.

"He's been promoted and permanently moved from our sanctuary." He prattled, the conversation quickly leading me to astonishment. "He can come to visit, or rest if he is currently on a nearby contract, but he will no longer hail from us; his contracts will be given to him at his new location and he is under the rule of another Speaker."

I gaped. "Wha? Why? I was just getting to like him too. Where has he gone? Could I…perhaps visit him?"

Vicente chuckled and turned more to me. "Ah, I see you've taken up a fondness to him. I expected that. He was one of Lucien's favorites too. Mathieu was always very efficient in his work, and more importantly, abided by the tenets. To this day I hear him quote our holiest of tomes…well I suppose I wont hear him anymore. Not any time soon."

Frowning I slowed my pace. I wanted to know more. This is not just a little promotion, but a movement. I can feel it in my bones. Something big is going on here, why else would Vicente be telling me this outside of the Sanctuary? "So what happens now brother? What becomes of our home? We are lacking a sibling. Does that mean our defenses are low?"

He did not smile nor frown, Vicente continued to look straight ahead. "Yes, I suppose you could say that, but our home is not under any imminent threat so we are safe. But this does mean a great change…another great change." He was silent again for a moment but turned to me in earnest the next.

Assassins and their mood swings…

"The powers of the Hand are shifting." He stated lowly. "This does not bode well. Especially under certain circumstances.-" He stopped again and looked at me gravely. "I know your wondering why I am telling you all this, child. But hear me. I know you _Natilie_, and I know more about you and your history than you yourself do." I blinked. Obviously this information is important as he feels the need to use my other name. I hung unto his every word…

"You are someone I can trust, and…warn. I fear the worst. I have never seen such a Hand…our Speakers fight so. They have divided into smaller segments. They no longer act like the five brothers, but as each individual finger."

"Why?" I asked quickly before he could continue. "Why do they fight?"

"They are afraid. What with the recent murdering of our family members, and sudden old rivals coming forth from ash, they are petrified but dare not to show it. They pin their fears on each other. Lucien is no different. Indeed not, and because of this he has gotten our home in quite the bind."

"What do you mean?"

His shoulders slouched slightly. "Our sanctuary _had _finally become normal once more. We had recovered from the sudden loss of our members and finally gained you. Now that all means nothing. Once again our siblings shall be fearful of one another."

Huh?

"I have much to tell you sister, but to sum it up…" He hesitated. "Lucien has to start recruiting again. Only this time he is not the one picking a potential member. The Hand has already given him a name, and it's the most foolish name…"

I was baffled. To come into the Dark Brotherhood thinking Lucien Lachance is the 'Man' then suddenly hear he's being told what to do by his other siblings is more than strange. I thought my Speaker had the power to…wait, did I just say _my _Speaker? Hmm, anyway I thought he had the power to pick and choose who he wanted in his sanctuary. What kind of role is Speaker if your being bossed around?

Pfft, I better not ever get promoted.

"Who is he going to recruit Vicente?"

"The arena Grand Champion…"

…Immediately I burst into laughter. "Vicente, what a funny Breton you are!"

"Nerah stop laughing, this is no laughing matter. I'm very serious, we are going to have some obnoxious arena rat in our home. That is, of course, if Lucien succeeds. If you ask me this idea is more than just stupid… its completely idiotic and I cant tolerate it. Lucien may be skilled but its just foolish to send a Speaker to see some random skilled fighter who really didn't commit any murder!"

Wait _what_?! I had to barbeque my stepbrother to get into the Dark Brotherhood! Some random drunk with a sword gets an invite for free?! Its an outrage…its humiliating and its mocking what the Dark Brotherhood stands for! And WHY do I care so much!? I have no idea! "He's not even a murderer?" I growled. "How can this even be tolerated? Where's the wrath of Sithis when you need it?"

"I do not know. Things are changing and that's all that can be said. We are a family, as such we must stick together, but I cant stand this. No longer do I have any say either. I have argued my point constantly, but I am only an Executioner; barley a pawn, and can do nothing."

"That's not true." I said lamely. "What about the Night Mother? Is she real, wont she help us?"

He put a gentle hand on my shoulder and we turned down an alley. Vicente leaned close to my ear and whispered, "I don't think she will. Not now…not yet. Our Lady works in mysterious ways." I simply nodded as we continued further down the cramped alley. "I still hold dear to our Lady and Father but I believe they are testing us in some way. Everything is happening now so we all must act, do our part and learn from it."

The leather from my gloves began to groan from my constant flexing fingers. I may love drama, but not so much when I am intimately involved and not in control.

Finally we stopped walking, and I looked to our surroundings in distain. Ugly alleys.

"I am going off to Skingrad to see some family there. I need to keep the bonds between we assassins as close as possible. Our Speakers may fight but we must stick together." I agreed, knowing from recent conversations with Vicente that he has seen hard times in the Brotherhood before. If anyone knows how to stay safe during such a precarious power shift its him.

"I also have to meet a friend of mine," He continued nonchalantly. "His influence may be helpful somewhere along the line. Plus he's having some…lady trouble, poor man. It is my duty to help him as well through his strife."

I laughed. I was sad to hear about Vicente going off, but I knew he had us of the Brotherhood in mind as he went. He like a knight on a holy mission, off to safe our religion and whatnot.

"It seems like everyone is going through strife nowadays Vicente. All we're missing is gates to Oblivion itself opening up! Icing on the cake eh?"

Vicente smiled. "I wont be around when that happens. I better not be in any case. Sweet Sithis, that's all we need." He shook his head as though trying to shake off the idea and turned his attention back to me…Good. "Well, now that I have told you the bad news and how we are to cope, I think its only fair if you were to ask me any questions you may have. We've got time, and I would like to hold a more uplifting conversation than continue to dwell on our seemingly _uncomfortably _dark future."

I couldn't help my smirk. Any man on Nirn should learn to not let me ask whatever I want, because I will do just that, to their discomfort.

XXXX

On the very edge of the Imperial City's Market District a lone mer walked sulkily with his hood pulled up. It was dark and cold, and the poor Dunmer was caught again in the bitter rain. He supposed that the weather was more tolerable than walking about in the daylight. As much as the Grand Champion loved his fans he despised their praise.

Unknown to all his loyal crowds and watchers, he had secrets so dark it would twist all their minds.

Murder. The Nightblade was used to it. But this time he knew something more sinister would become of it. All his life he was surrounded by death, and even now as he walked the streets somberly he stank of it. Since his boyhood in Morrowind slaughtering innocents was no shunned practice, but an honorable profession. His entire life was built around this moment, this one death that would catch unholy eyes. Yet he was afraid.

He knew that killing his friend: The Grey Prince, was the final straw. Once he stood over the Orcs lifeless body he felt shivers run up his spine and a cold prickle on the back of his neck. This was it and he knew it. No longer would he be watched from the shadows and named a simple combatant, but a cold-blooded killer.

It was strange to him. He knew this day would come once he ventured to Cyrodiil - constantly killing in the arena for profit would not go unnoticed for long - but that did not stop his insides from squirming frantically.

It had been days since he killed his good friend and trainer for seemingly fame - his good deed to put the half-breed Orc to death as he wished would go unnoticed - but every night just as he laid down to sleep he felt eyes upon his back.

He was being carefully watched and considered.

With a nervous hand the Dunmer pushed open the door to local tavern and stepped inside. Immediately he was greeted by the warmth and comfort of the inn, sadly though it did little to calm his nerves.

"Ah, welcome back Gavinn." The proprietor of the Merchants Inn - and his current landlord - called. "Thought you weren't comin'. I was just about to close up and head off to bed myself."

Gavinn smiled as genuinely as he could and strode over to the counter. His relationship with his shelter provider was a sacred one indeed. "Sorry about that, Velus. Just needed a walk is all."

The barkeep laughed and already began to ready the Champions favorite drink. "Oh right. Fighting all day in the arena isn't enough exercise." He pushed the drink over to the mer who gratefully took it and placed several gold coins on the counter.

"Not for this mer it isn't." Gavinn said pointedly with a smirk. "Cheers." He finished his drink quickly and after a few minutes of forced polite talk he excused himself and went to retire.

Gavinn stepped into his little room and sighed. Out of all the money he made from fighting he could only keep a paltry sum. He had many debts to pay but luckily the Nightblade was left with enough to keep food in his belly, clothes on his back, and a warm bed to sleep in. Sadly though, the money was quickly running out.

Once he checked the door and little window and was satisfied with the locks, he dropped his pack onto the floor and flicked back his hood, revealing a very shiny head of silvery-white hair. (1)

XXXX

Out of all the races…it just _had _to be a _Dunmer_.

Lucien Lachance stood in a little room of the Merchants Inn with a scowl set on his face. The past few days had been torment, his week had been made up of nothing but quarrels and bickering between the Black Hand. Everyone of the sacred five had been on edge once the news of another family member went missing. Only this time it had been worse, it was not a lowly murderer who had been killed, but a most sacred courier.

It was bad news. Although they all mourned the passing of any sibling there was a much different reaction when the messenger had been shot.

This meant that their letters had been intercepted and possibly could have been in the past as well. If such documentation got into the hands of the legion the then it gave all the more reason to worry. But so far nothing had come of their missing scrolls, making each member ill at ease.

These papers that had gone missing were laden with detailed murders, the assassins name who completed each task, and the cities from where both victim and Brother hailed.

It had been Lucien whom spoke out boldly against the Hand and said, rather rudely, "We must find another way to keep our information both documented and secret. This paper routine, these _Dead Drops_, shall be the death of us all. May I ask who the fool was to create such a method?"

He had been angry. Both Antoinetta Marie and Nerah Vlando of his sanctuary had been mentioned in a brief report to the Listener on their status progression. But his anger had quickly faded to masked embarrassment when his sister: Speaker Arquen, gave a suggestive cough while motioning to the Bosmer Listener himself.

Never shrinking, Lucien tried his best to apologize without actually saying _sorry_. He failed miserably.

The Listener was outraged, saying that the Dead Drop method had been useful since he became Listener…a long time indeed. In a sentimental way Lucien had felt sorry for him. The mer had been Speaker for decades and so was set in his ways. However, his ways may have done well in the past but Lucien was not the only one who felt it time for change.

"Honorable Listener, please." Arquen had interjected through Ungolim's raving. "Speaker Lucien only meant to say that these methods are a bit outdated. Perhaps we can try something new. If we put our heads together-"

"Try something new indeed!" Ungolim snapped, glaring daggers across the table at the Imperial Speaker. "What the Brotherhood is currently lacking is strength. We must recruit newer, stronger, members and teach them the way of the assassin. Thus we shall have less siblings and less paper work that could end up in the wrong hands." He concluded with an angry pounding fist to the table, nearly making one cranky Dunmer Speaker's ale spill.

The Khajiit Speaker sitting on the Listeners right had opened his mouth to oppose this method, but soon thought better of it and shook his head sadly instead.

All the Speakers knew something grave was happening. Contracts were quickly becoming scarce within the sanctuaries. With that and the recent deaths of family members it was a certainty that something was very wrong. Ungolim's new found anger only gave them further reason for this, they all had secretly come to the conclusion the their Lady was growing silent.

But before anymore words could have been spoken, the Listener had made up his mind and commanded the Cheydinhal Speaker to recruit whom he thought would flourish in the Dark Brotherhood.

So here he was, and in the bed not ten feet away lay his possible sibling.

This Dunmer had killed many within the arena, but combatants were often overlooked and were rarely recruited, more often then not they were never considered. The Night Mother did not chose her children idly, but according to the Listener she gave this idea her blessing.

His back round was…_sketchy_. That made Lucien all the more irritated. Never before had he approached a possible member that he knew _nothing _about…it was stupid. The only information that he could acquire during his few days of observation was that the mer was thirty-two; which was only little more than a twenty years old in Dunmeri years, and that he had lived in Morrowind all his life up until little under a year ago. (2)

Of course Lucien had used his notorious gift of persuasion to find out more about his life in Morrowind - little good all that trouble did for him…

Apparently the ash-born, _Gavinn_, had an older sister and two dead parents. Lucien did not know how the father had died but he did learn that the young, stupid, elf had killed his mother during birth.

"_An omen indeed." _Lucien Lachance mused darkly as he took another silent step forward. He could already tell that this one was careless, there wasn't even a visible weapon nearby and as a champion he surely had enemies. _"Cant please all the people, Dunmer." _The Speaker already had one child on his plate to deal with, how was he to cope with two? One being a outlander no less. (3)

Finally after much irritable consideration, Lucien squared his shoulders, forced a smile and readied himself for the worst. Mer or not this was a potential brother, and Lucien could play nice for a reasonable amount of time. "Wake up, my Brother." He announced rather loudly in the already Silenced room. "For we are of kin and you mustn't ignore your family, its rude. One might question your upbringing."

Gavinn shot up on the bed, his covers flying off and a spell readying itself in his hand. He was alert but sleep shown clearly on his face, that grogginess none can conceal. His red eyes darted to the Speakers face, to the silver long sword at his hip, and back up to the smile now twisting along his lips. "Who?…explain yourself _now_."

The mer got to his feet, standing only several inches shorter the now maliciously grinning Speaker. Lucien heard the quaver in his voice, he had the upper hand, the little grey-head was afraid. "In due time, dear child. In due time. But first an introduction…I am Lucien Lachance, a Speaker for the Dark Brotherhood." He paused only for a moment to revel in the aghast look on the boys face - one of his favorite parts of the job.

And to notice that outlandish piercing on the Dunmers nose…

Lucien would have given his usual bow had that wicked looking Shock spell not been there; he cocked his head to it. "Lets not shall we? There is no need for violence. Even though you have a liking for it I suggest you bottle your tendency's for the time being. Amusing though how those urges are the very reasons for my appearance tonight. Don't you find it amusing as well?"

Gavinn said nothing, causing Lucien to give a little frown. "What? Had you not been expecting me? I truly thought you would. I did not tip-toe around you at all. Believe it or not I don't like to arrive unannounced." Lucien was half surprised to see the mer's spell vanish and his silver head bow to the floor. A foolish move indeed, Lucien was rather tempted to take his sword and--

"What must I do Mr. Lachance?"

The Cheydinhal Speaker blinked and immediately became suspicious. He had never before been asked such a question, this was the secretive Dark Brotherhood and not the blunt, known, fighters guild. It wasn't everyday a murderer asked for his orders right off the bat. "Eager to learn now are we?"

Gavinn sighed at the inquiry and slowly sat back down on the bed before answering it, his eyes never leaving the floor, almost as an act of fealty. "I know of the Dark Brotherhood, I have heard many rumors. Once I first joined the arena and killed my first man a stranger told me of you." The mer looked up, peering at the Speaker through his silvery hair as Lucien glared down curiously at him through his hood. "I have killed for profit and enjoyed every moment of besting my foes. I believe I fit the description of a Dark Brother rather nicely."

Lucien had to admire the boy, it was not everyday he met someone who had been expecting him for sometime. "So on your standards I am late. Already I am proud, Gavinn. You've done your homework I see."

"Yes, out of my own hatred toward surprises I spent little time looking into this. I was not ignorant enough to think myself intangible. I knew one day you would come, but my selfish ways kept me from caring. I love what I do, and would not think to stop it out of fear of darker things."

Though Lucien was not thoroughly convinced, he procured a small parcel from his sleeve and offered it to the Dunmer. "Darker things hmmm? Then you will fit in quiet nicely. But I will warn you now, out of…compassion. Once in the Dark Brotherhood you are no longer an arena champion, but a lowly murderer. If you wish to join you must understand who we are and what we stand for. Mainly you are to understand your place. You get no praise yet until you prove your worth, a title means nothing. Petty beggars have more fame with a knife than you."

Gavinn accepted the parchment, and swallowed hard. "I understand. I am willing to give all this fame away. Fighting creatures just…_isn't _the same as -"

"Maiming unsuspecting people?" Lachance offered with a smile. This was one of the quickest meetings he ever had, there was no bribing, no explaining or threatening, it was easy.

"Yes." Gavinn said ashamedly. "I'm just a bloodthirsty mer who wants more." He continued with a lopsided smile. "Fame and fortune are nothing. What I need, I want…"

Lucien held a hand up. "I know dear boy, I know what you need. All in the Brotherhood share the same want as you. We are willing to help, so long as your willing to serve."

"Anything." He said quickly, his ruby eyes gleaming, his voice eager. "I must bring death…I must cause pain. Anything, please."

"_Perhaps the Listener was right…" _Smirking Lucien took a step back, his job was done. "Then sleep brother. Once you awake, read your letter and follow the instructions carefully. I will come to you again when your task is complete. _Sleep_."

XXXX

For a long time Gavinn had sat on his bed once the Speaker had gone.

He mentally prayed all through there encounter and was very glad it was over. He had not expected himself to get as worked up as he did though, it was unlike him. Gavinn's training was finally going to be put to the test. At long last he met a Speaker of the Black Hand and in a matter of minutes had single handedly succeeded where all others of his guild had failed.

The encounter had shaken him up quite a bit. He in no way underestimated the Dark Brotherhood, but he had not expected them to be so…welcoming. It made him uneasy. What if they already knew of his true intent and were planning something?

Regardless, whatever the future may hold for him he would see this through. So for strength alone he slowly reached a hand into his pants pocket. Gavinn pulled out the long silver chain and gazed blankly at the little spider medallion for a moment. It lay neatly in his palm as he traced a finger over it, staring at the spider and it's web. Finally he took a heavy breath and pressed the cool metal to his lips. "Step one, my master, is complete."

xxxx

Hmm not bad. Not bad at all! Vicente was more open with me tonight than I had expected him to be. Usually you would think vampires would be very secretive. Not Vicente, at least not to me anyway. I learned a lot of useful things tonight, he's quite the chatter box, loves talking about himself. But hey, who doesn't?

Well anyway it turns out he's been in the Dark Brotherhood for a little over two hundred years. But Vicente's been a vampire for three hundred. Strange….I guess the Dark Brotherhood was a bit slow back in the day… You see he was recruited all those years ago, in Morrowind, Vvardenfell to be exact, and was taken into one sanctuary positioned on that island. According to him The Dark Brotherhood was in Morrowind as well as Cyrodiil some hundred years ago, and today we still venture there from time to time. _He _says its dangerous.

Apparently there's another guild there called the Morag Tong. They came one day to the sanctuary he lived in and slew all the family members of that great sanctuary. Which it was great, he couldn't stress that enough. Vicente spoke so much of his previous sanctuary that it made me quite jealous…he had a _fling _with his dead Speaker…thank Sithis she's dead!…Oh I'm awful… Anyway, he said it was located in some old ruin and if you compared it in size with our sanctuary then Cheydinhal would be a broom cupboard in comparison.

But this _chick, _this dead Speaker, let Vicente bite her on a regular basis! How absurd! What a harlot! And he was still new to vampirism then, he says being one hundred is like an adolescent vampire, which means he barley knew how to properly bite people. The bitch felt pain and lots of it.

Damn, _damn _lucky woman.

He did tell me so much about himself, and about his gift, others who carry the gift too. Like his friend in Skingrad, the one with 'lady problems' well he's a vampire! There are clans all around Cyrodiil, and vampires can sense each other, so he roughly knows the location of several clans. Plus vampirism has different effects, it all depends on who you were bitten by. For example, most vampires in Morrowind had glowing with eyes but the vampires of Cyrodiil only get white irises when they are searching for prey…or just felt like poking about in the dark.

Fang size varies too. The less you feed can also effect there growth…like a beaver I think. Basically he more a vampire eats, the more normal they look. Vicente likes to keep his strength peaked so he practically starves himself, if he ate regularly though he'd look human. He can walk in the daylight if he had enough blood in him and he could have an actual supper too with food, _food_. There is something in the blood that revitalizes the body and mimics life. So if he drained a beggar then he can sit down for a plate venison and potatoes.

Interesting isn't it?

But there are some nasty after effects if a vampire doesn't balance the two accordingly. He downright refused to tell me what those were.

This isn't the best news though, I've finally got myself a contract! He wants me to do it, Lucien wants me to do it, so you damn well know I excepted it.

So in all honesty, I'm probably going to get killed. How am I supposed to kill some Dunmer in the Imperial prison without being seen or getting myself caught? Its farce…but what the heck I need my fix. Your going down Mr…Oh what's his name again? Valen Dreth, I think?

* * *

Authors Notes: Told you it was horrible didn't I? And for the record I don't think Lucien has anything against Dunmers. But in this story, he does.

First off, I've noticed a lot of writers doing this 1,2,3, thingy and decided to give it a try.

1. Come on, remember him from Nerah's first contract?

2. Go to wiki lore if you don't believe me ;P

3. That was pretty irrelevant I know, but I had to. Remember in Morrowind how they would always say: "What outlander?" or "Make it quick, outlander!" and my personal favorite, "We're watching you…_scum." Needless to say Imperials weren't very liked there. This is my own little revenge. Imperial mocking Dunmer. Har, har. _


	22. The Quickie

Author Notes: I'm still writing, been busy though. So sorry it took forever. The entire Valen Dreth contract is rushed. We've all played the quest about one hundred times now. Crawl in…shoot…dead…crawl out. So there you have it XD...The title? Because I can :3

* * *

Envy

Chapter twenty one: The Quickie

VALEN DRETH! VALEN DRETH!

The name really just slips off the tongue doesn't it? I want to sing it loudly while skipping about the Sanctuary. However, for the sake of my family I won't even hum. Sweet Mother, if I did they'd all be deaf! I couldn't sing if you paid me, if my _life _depended on it. I would end up dying stupidly with tunes stuck in my throat that my body refused to utter.

Sounds bad, yes? It is bad.

Plus it wouldn't be very smart for me to start singing here in the bowels of the Imperial city prison when I'm supposed to remain undetected, now would it?

Hmmm I know what you're thinking: Why would anyone entrust this idiot with such a delicate mission? Don't worry, your guess is as good as mine. No one should trust me with anything. Hell you wont trust me to watch your cat if you knew what's good for you! Err, well, for your cat I mean.

I don't like cats. I have a bad history with them you see. Turns out, a five-year-old armed with a pewter spoon is dangerous and should not be allowed near small animals…I was five, I was curious, give me a break.

Ugh, cats, animals, people! I hate the lot of them. And _great_!Now I have a headache. I can never think straight when about to kill another living being. Can't imagine why though. Stupid blinking, breathing, blood sacks.

Speaking of blood, I wonder how I'm going to get away with this. More importantly -- still relating to blood -- I wonder what Vicente's up to.

xxxx

I managed to crawl pass ever damn guard without being caught. I would have never dreamed the security down here would be as loose as it is. A drunken ogre could skip through here and go unnoticed. It really makes you wonder why no one else has been able to escape through here before. Perhaps they too knew it wouldn't pose much of a challenge, and didn't want to bother with the _sort of _adventure.

Stupid Imperials. Sometimes I'm ashamed to be a full-blooded one.

And turns out Valen Dreth is a little old Dunmer with graying hair and dark red eyes. Dunmers are so fetching creepy! Dead things, like Vicente, are supposed to have red eyes, not some blue man with pointy ears! Ugh.

Well to spare you the boredom of his death I'll summarize it quickly for you: I approached, some guard made fun of Dreth, I snickered but the guard thought it was Valen and punched him in the nose then stormed off, I crawled closer and stepped on some weird beret that was placed neatly on the floor of the cell I was hiding in.

When Valen heard me and saw my clothes he started screaming bloody murder. So I pulled out my blade and plunged it into his neck -- yes ironically enough even though he knew I was an assassin he stood there by the bars screaming, rather than cowering away as expected.

In doing so, I was splattered along the face and neck with sticky elf blood and panicked myself. I hightailed it out of there while flittering in and out of focus. So every stupid guard was alerted by the random running, dry heaving, assassin and followed after me. I managed to escape from the sewers with four guards at my heels.

They followed me out by the shore where I was apprehended…for little more than two seconds.

Did you know that the famous Imperial Legion guards' weakness is vomit? Well you do now.

For decencies sake I did not mean to hurl on him. After all the running and blood, I couldn't help it. That and having Gogrons _Chili Con Carne Surprise _for dinner last night didn't help the matter.

It covered two of them. The other two ended up staring in shock for a moment and only one decided to continue to chase after me. Now I could have ran all around the city isle like an idiot, _or_ jump in the freezing waters to safety. Of course I chose the latter, but was I happy about it? No sir! They couldn't follow me because of their bulky uniforms, but I jumped head in first and shrieked as I popped up for air. It was bloody cold. They found out that I was indeed a woman from my yelp, which was a little disheartening. I may not have breasts…at all…but I still _look _like a girl.

Stupid men and their stupid gentiles.

Now I am to trot myself about soaked to the bone, find Cagmy, and head home. The only good news is that my contract was completed, no guards were killed, and other than my girlish cry, they have no idea who I am.

XXXX

'The dead is done.' He says. 'Welcome to the Family.' He says. Gavinn would have never believed it would be that easy. All he had to do was kill another man. So easy and weak, weathered with age and helpless to defend himself. The Champion had to wonder if it was supposed to be a test of his moral or skill.

When he went to the house that held his victim, the old man he was to kill confronted him directly. Shouted profanities about his daughter, saying that she was the one who prayed to the Night Mother and asked for his death. He was a rich old man and his daughter believed he lived long enough. The elder even attempted to fight him. Took a sword from the mantle and demanded Gavinn to leave his home.

All while this was happening Gavinn became truly disgusted with the Dark Brotherhoods methods.

In the letter Speaker Lachance had given him were direct instructions. Gavinn was to break into the old mans home and present himself, only when the man wielded a weapon was he to strike.

The Dunmer gave the withered Imperial an honorable death. Only one quick, clean, cut to the throat was all it took, and he left.

Questions buzzed through his mind when Lucien Lachance had finally come again for him. The Speaker appraised him, all the while watching the mer with a cold stare and smile that never did touch his eyes. Even Gavinn was not immune to the odd chill that seemed to hang around the Dark Brother. He shuddered constantly when he spoke, and only barley succeeded in keeping his teeth from chattering.

After a short speech of ill praise towards the mer did Lucien finally give him further instructions.

He was vague, only telling him to travel several miles north to Cheydinhall, go to the abandoned house and speak a password to the Black Door.

_Sanguine, my Brother_.

xxxx

The Sanctuary was in an uproar when I got back. Speaker Lachance was there and had already announced that we were going to get another sibling.

To be quite honest I thought he meant Antoinetta was pregnant or something…

No one else knew he was the Arena Grand Champion but me, and I intend to keep it secret. Although I doubt that it will be secret for long. The idiot is probably going to run in here thinking he's the hottest thing since Dagon's farts. Aw well. We'll all just have to whip him into shape. A few minutes with the Kitty Man is enough to knock anyone's ego down a bit.

xxxx

"Oh its so exciting!" Antoinetta squealed. "Isn't it Nerah?"

"Yeah it's bloody fantastic. Can I go to sleep now?"

She clucked at me. "How can you sleep when he'll be arriving soon? What if he's handsome, or a _live_ Breton?! I cannot possibly wait much longer, I'll surely explode."

Throwing the pillow over my head _again,_ I sighed heavily. "Then go explode somewhere convenient for me."

She clucked again and stood. "Fine, fine. I'll come get you when he's here then. Oh I hope he's handsome."

_

* * *

_

_Authors Notes: I know its only three pages long but this is all I can do right now. My life of doom prevents me from being alone for more than five minutes. I've been out and about for weeks now, but I will be able to write more towards the end of July. ALSO if you have noticed the crappy quality of this…high five. Its one in the morning and I'm stuck listening to a friend snore. XDXD I already started the next chapter, but this is going up now so no one loses faith in me! D:_


	23. Hello Again

Envy

Chapter twent three: Hello Again

Antoinetta made good on her promise to wake me. About an hour after her departure she came back, bounding into the room and giggling all the while.

I wanted to stab her.

Being that she had just nosily toppled into the room I presumed she was going to come over and give me a good shake -- which I might have been inclined _to_ stab her for -- but to my surprise, she did not. So as I laid there and hoped to Gods or Sithis that she would leave the room and let me be, I listened intently. She made no attempts to be silent or stealthy, she flipped open her trunk with a loud 'bang' and rummaged through until she found a little, purple, case.

Ugh. I hate the color purple.

She then flopped onto her bed and opened the stupid thing. I thought for sure that she was going to pull out some type of home-made love potion, but instead out came a little golden tube of lipstick. She twirled it around in her fingers and pulled out a little matching gold mirror for it to. Only when she had stopped _humming_ and applied the peony-pink colored gloss did she notice me glaring at her with all the contempt my five-foot nine body could muster.

And that my friend, is a _lot_ of contempt.

"Oh! You're awake sister!" She chimed in that far too high-pitched voice of hers.

"No…really?" I snapped while tossing the covers off me. Obviously I wasn't getting anymore sleep until this barbarian showed up, so I decided to give up on trying. "What the hell are you doing getting all spiffed up for anyway?" I shot her a skeptical look. "I thought you fancied Lucien."

Even though she had just smeared rouge on her cheeks, I knew she was blushing. She gave me that I'm-pretending-to-be-innocent look, and peered up at me from beneath her pale, golden, lashes. "I do adore our Speaker yes, but he hasn't been very close to me recently. I miss him but I do need attention."

As I sat myself on her bed and poked through her makeup, I wondered just how strongly she felt towards Lucien, and just how far she had actually gone with him. Lucien Lachance does not strike me as the famed: workaholic, no sex, stingy type of guy. I'm sure if Antoinetta offered, and I'm quite positive she did, he would accept. You can almost see that prowling leer in his eyes even when just talking about the weather with him. I'm sure he sees any exceptionally attractive woman as a possible lay, and with Antoinetta's devotion…they've so done it.

"Antoinetta," I started, not even bothering to hide the wide smirk on my face. "Have you and our Speaker ever…? You know…I know."

She cast me a sideways glance, like she was trying to size me up. At first I thought she might begin to swear at me, or in the least call me a liar. What I got was unexpected, "Yes." She answered dreamily. "We did, and it beautiful."

I felt my mouth fall open and hang there _only for few seconds _before a response worked its way through my brain. It wasn't that I was shocked at her answer, it was just that I had expected her to lie about it. Or deny it a bit before I harassed her more into the truth. I may be blunt but not everyone is.

I wasn't sure to be appalled or find this funny. Assuming that one person has done another is much different than actually knowing that they had. My first reaction was to grimace, make my 'ew!' face, and then pry answers from her. But the fact that she was so open about it put a damper on the entire surprise. If she was bashful and trying to deny it I might have found it more fun, but as it were I could even see that boastful gleam in her eyes. To her this was some big event, something to brag about. To me it was just a topic.

"That's disturbing."

"Ha!" She barked, nearly making me fall out of bed. "You're jealous! I knew you would be."

….There comes a time in everyone's life when they hear a comment like that. You are so taken aback by it that you just sit there, staring off into space before it even registers in your head. While your gears are turning your not sure whether to plead your innocence, get angry or laugh.

So I just looked at her, wondering how in Sithis name could she be that thick. "Number one," I said evenly. "Why the hell would I want to sleep with our Speaker? That man is a sadist. I wouldn't make it out alive." The corner of her mouth twitched downwards and her eyes had already lost their spark. "Number two," I said, still calm as ever. "Why would you want to make me jealous? If you knew, or shall I say _thought_ that having sex with him would twist my knickers, then why the hell would you do it?"

As I expected her smile had completely vanished. She looked more snotty now, like any Breton, and wasn't looking directly at me but more to my forehead. "I was only playing."

For the record, no she was not.

"You're too serious Nerah. Lighten up."

Finally my anger got the best of me. I hate being told to 'lighten up' or 'watch my temper' or 'shut my mouth.' Not to mention I was quite angry that she had really attempted to make me jealous. I'm pretty sure sisters do that…but hell, it's annoying. "I can't '_lighten up_'. The man who you're fucking has forbade me from drinking."

And with that I grabbed her little makeup case again and proceeded to doll myself up. If she wants to start a little battle with me, fine. She's my sister, but the Dark Brotherhood is going to know whose better at _everything_.

So armed with only a charcoal pencil and some crimson lipstick _I_ was going to show them.

xxxx

With a painted face that caused double-takes throughout the sanctuary -- I am better looking with makeup, even if I go a _little _overboard -- I sat picking my nails with the Blade of Woe in the main room awaiting our newest idiot brother.

Grand Champion. Bah. Can't wait to meet him…and beat Antoinetta at wooing him. _Hehehe_.

So anyway, there I was. Sitting bored out of my mind while getting ogled by Gogron. Creepy. He never struck me as the: I-like-girls-with-dark-eyes-and-red-lips type. But maybe I just scared him. I am quite frightening in dim light.

Regardless, I was just about to tell him to go piss off, when I hear that evil Black Door hiss: Welcome Home. And yes, that door still scares the shit out of me, thank you. So I wasn't all that surprised when the quick shuffling of nervous feet came to my ears. Actually, it made me smile. I was drunk the first time I came to the sanctuary and here this muscle head is, scurrying in like a dog with its tail between its legs.

Beautiful.

I belted my dagger and got up from my chair -- yes _my _chair, it's the comfiest, so it's mine. I placed my hands on my hips and smirked. I was all decked out in my shrouded armor, and knew I looked good. Antoinetta may have breasts but she can't beat my hips, no sir. So when I turned around, all bubbly knowing that I was going to win, I was met by a hooded figure. A hooded figure that was too close for comfort, and wearing fine tan robes…

He froze. I couldn't make any features out at first, damn hoods, but I knew it was a guy. That, or a very beefy girl that Lucien had mistaken for a man. So, yeah…

"Hey there." I said still smiling. It freaked me out when I first arrived to have people smiling at me so much, but I couldn't keep from doing it. "You our new little sibling or an intruder whom I have to dispatch?" Humor. I like being funny. Men like it too, they think you like them if you joke with them or something stupid like that.

"No, no." Came a rather rushed, nervous voice. "I was sent by Lucien Lachance to…to." He stopped and looked closer at me, his head tilting to the side. I nearly shat myself when I saw red, glistening eyes beneath the hood. I thought he was another vampire, and I only like Vicente, another one would just get me all angry. Thankfully though I recognized the dark, smooth, skin of a Dunmer, so I kept from shouting, 'Hell, another of you fetchers!'.

I digress.

He was looking at me like I had 'I'm interesting' written on my forehead. I love attention, but the look was annoying, so I ignored it the best I could. "Well, if our dear sadistic Speaker has extended an invitation to you, then I accept you with open arms too. Welcome home, _dearest _brother."

"I remember you now!" The guy exclaimed and threw his hood back.

"Huh?"

"You, we met in the Imperial city before. I asked you for directions." And the hood fell past his shoulders, and…

Let me just say this: nice. Oh, I remembered him alright, after a bit of gawking. It was that green-grey skinned Dunmer I met on my first contract. His short grey hair made me remember who he was immediately. Needless to say though, I was a bit surprised by the jewelry his face was sporting. I did not remember that little silver ball piercing beneath his lower lip, or the one on his nostril, or all the little hoops going up his ear. However, I did remember the way the tips of his ears pointed out of his messy hair, those high cheekbones and really sharp gaunt features.

Mentally, I let out a long whistle. Outwardly, I smiled sweetly and said "Oh hey! I didn't know you killed people too!"

Smooth.

Although his smile wavered he allowed me to guide him to Ocheeva's room and introduce him to everyone. I showed him around, and dropped suggestive comments like: 'This is the warmest room in the sanctuary, it's the best one to get naked in' whenever Antoinetta was around. Stupid and silly I know, but her face gets so red! I wish my cheeks get red when I'm mad or embraced. My entire face does or only my neck.

Anyway he clung to me like a puppy, but a quiet one. As a matter of fact he rarely spoke. The occasional question but nothing else. And he looked so tense the entire time, I had to give him some beer to calm him down. I suppose the whole ordeal is pretty never-racking. I can barley remember my first day. But he soon loosened up and talked a little with us all. He was Grand Champion, but he wasn't a big muscle head. Actually, He's a Nightblade, using magic and a short-sword to win all his battles. When we eventually exchanged names, which for some reason was the last thing we did before bed, I forgot to ask him for his last name. All I got out of him was Gavinn.

Gavinn. Little did I know what a kind of beautiful relationship we would form.

XXXX

The Mer would not sleep. He had closed his eyes and unpacked what little he had brought with him, but he _would not_ sleep. This was not a home, nor was it the cozy sanctuary it was made out to be. This place, this tomb, was a war zone. Gavinn Nilem or Drathyn Hlaalu, had just successfully infiltrated the Dark Brotherhood. Thus, sleep was out of the question.

Authors Notes: …What, think it was abandoned? Nope. I'm just in the (veryslowprocess) of re-writing the whole darn thing. I hadn't planned on posting a new chapter until I had finished editing all the old ones. But as it stands, I'm slow enough, and this story has been getting a lot of random attention lately. It is VERY appreciated. I wish I could thank and reply to everyone, but I have a life outside of my fanfics (I know, it's tragic. Writing and drawing are much more enjoyable!) My computer time is limited at best. So, yeah, short chapter is short. XD But yes, this chapter has a bit of dust on it, and I can't even look over my older chapters without wincing at my consistent comma abuse. I am TRYING to fix this story but…*cries* It fails so hard.

ALSO, (yes, caps are necessary XD) I've come to find that when I write anything for any of my fandoms, I go on a roll and write a little bit for each story. So if you are a fan of this story or maybe you like Love or Blood (Hehe L.O.B) You might want to remove me from your favorite/alert list and just keep the stories. Don't worry, it wont hurt my feelings. Especially if you're a bit of a brat like me and get ticked when one of the authors you watch has put a story on hold while updating some other fanfic then…yeah XDXD. Truth be told, I can't keep up with everyone over here in the Oblivion section, and I have other stories I might want to add on . So go ahead and feel free to remove me. It will get kinda annoying when you get a constant update for some random story while I neglect Oblivion. :/

But, I won't abandon this story! Now be free! Read another story that has an author with an IQ higher than 5 MmmmKAY? *Turns on Fallout3*


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